Tuesday, January 19th

Thanks Shel!  It's all a process, isn't it?

Mary, do you or have you done any counseling? I'm wondering if that might help you identify and come up with a plan for the emotional triggers.

Nice introspection regardless and I think journaling is a great idea!

Hi Paula, I did counseling for some time when I was younger, and it was very helpful.  I've thought about going back, but haven't decided as yet.  Our health insurance is horrible, and, frankly at this time, I can't afford any more medical bills.  However, it is a possibility.  Thanks for your support!

Mary

This is a process. I've walked in your shoes and understand exactly what you are talking about. It is a scary place to be, but I promise you, with the work there is a silver lining. If you can manage it, even a few sessions with a decent therapist will help you talk through some things and give you a bit of direction. 

Thanks Devon!  As I said in my reply to Paula, I am thinking about counseling.

Momsy 55 There should be a love love love button.  Good for you for your observations!  It takes a lot of soul search and honesty great job! Remember my mind is of such that it can talk me into anything where food is concerned and denial is my biggest enemy and yet sometimes I can't see it for staring me in the face. And then there are moments of utter clarity; I try to hold onto those moments in my memory hopefully to override the moments of none clarity. Last night my mind convinced me I needed to eat after supper, I was full, but somehow I needed to eat. Then I thought no I need to drink and the thought that crossed my mind was "If I drink I won't be able to eat, so I won't drink" All seemed logical to me at the time. What the heck, my mind is a strange beast LOL.

If there is an overeaters anomous group in your area that might be worth going to. I know it has helped me alot and it is free.

Thanks Lorna!  I know those moments!  Had one yesterday when I was still full from lunch and was craving something crunchy.  I went to buy a journal, but my ulterior motive was to buy crunchy protein bars, which I did.  I ate one on the way back to the office, in the same manner as I did in the past - an addict getting her fix.  I was a long time member of OA and still retain a lot of what I learned there.  I did try going back a couple of years ago, but at that time, it felt almost defeatist and I stopped.  Perhaps trying it again wouldn't be such a bad idea.  Hugs!

Mary

Weight the same today (okay, down a tenth, lol). Hmmm..... I'm wondering if my low on Friday was not a real low.... Well, I'll just have to keep on doing what I'm doing because I know it works. Such a change from before when I'd have to cut back calories, starve and binge! Need to stay the course.

Miserably dark and rainy here this morning. I know we need the rain, but I do get tired of the wet because of one, the students have inside recess which has its own set of downfalls, and two, the dogs track in at the very least wet, dirty paw prints and at the worst, chunks and smears of mud. Booooooooo! LOL! 

Feeling a bit hungry today, too. Wonder what's up. Perhaps thirsty. Must go chug some H2O. 

Enjoy your day! 

Back up to 114 this morning. Haven't earned 113 quite yet but it's coming. Health day - mammogram, blood work and hand X-ray.

Paula and Shel, a few words of unsolicited advice for you to consider. If your weight is still dropping and you're very close to your bottom numbers, you aren't eating enough calories yet. I can appreciate you want to go slowly but Shel 875 is not going to be anywhere near enough so you might want to add couple hundred more right away. (I added 400 at once with no repercussion)

Can't imagine that either of you will need less than 1200 cals daily and I'm betting you both will need more than 1500 so no need to be overly cautious. Okay I'll shut up now :-) and be happy with whatever you decide. It's your journey and you both get to do it your way, not mine. 

Linda, I am actually hoping mine will be closer to 1,500 - though I kind of doubt it based on past history. I agree that < 1,000 is too low for maintenance and Shel could probably go up to 1,200 as well. It is a bit daunting getting that number just right and then figuring out the right percentages for the macros!