VSG Maintenance Group
Thursday Dec 17
Lesa, I'm jealous you are on break! I had Grandparents Day today, followed by a field trip to the local museum that is showing Nathan Sawaya's Lego artwork. Cool exhibit The Art of the Brick There's the link, if you care to see. Anyhow, I rarely ever feel pressure or harried at school, but I sort of did today. Tomorrow.... Science Lab, then I lead the school sing a long, prep the kids for their winter poetry recital and teach them how to share their reports with their parents (1st independent reports EVER - no parent help allowed!) and clean the room for the recital and reception that follows. Then it will be break! YAY! Goodness, I need it, too!
Scale was down an additional .3 today. I'll take it. Not sure why this water weight is taking its sweet time to leave me, but it is.
I have the child of one of my fellow teachers this year. The teacher knows that I have had surgery and that I watch my weight very carefully. I was none plussed when her child arrived with a plate of homemade cookies and fudge sprinkled with bite sized candy bars (smaller than I have ever seen!). Luckily, I found a good home for that plate of "Love". I did however, on my way home decide to eat a dark chocolate Hershey's Kiss. It was perfect. I let it melt in my mouth, savored the texture and flavor and lo and behold, I was done. I didn't want another and felt completely satisfied. I think the paying attention to the sensation of eating something like chocolate and really relishing the different stages of eating the chocolate makes a difference. Can you say Mindful Eating? LOL! The mindful thing is very hard for me. I'm a stuffer, a volume eater, a "mmmmm I like that give me more", type of eater!
Carbon, on the whole family, upbringing, childhood experience influencing us in later years: Sure it does. I had a lot of that stuff going on. Mind you, it was all well intentioned, but it still had a negative effect on me and by my teens I was a closet eater. What I would say helped me was when I finally came to terms with the fact that yes all this stuff happened, yes, it hurt at the time, and yes, these things helped shape who I am today, BUT, not a damn one of those things can define me. I have the ability and the strength and mental fortitude to change my direction. I do not have to let the past control my future. Does that make sense? I'm an adult now. I have the control, whereas I did not as a child. I acknowledged that my feelings were hurt as a child. I understand how what grown ups said to me led me to feel insecure about myself and question my self worth, but now I also know that they were WRONG!
I believe that that once I understood that eating 1/2 the cake was not the problem, but the feeling that prompted me to eat the cake was the real problem I had found the key factor that was going to lead me to the food life I wanted. Dealing with the feeling behind the eating is not so easy for me, but I am better at it than I was before. Sometimes I still can't deal with it, so I let the feeling come and I ride it out.
So, Carbon, I think yes, there comes a time that we say, "Self, you are eating your 9th piece of cake." But instead of saying, "Stop it!" I think it is better to ask, "Self, what is causing you to eat 9 pieces of cake? What is hurting so much that you would rather eat than deal with the feeling?" Then let your "Self" sit with the question. "Self" may not answer you at first, but eventually, when "Self" trusts you enough she will tell you what's bothering her and then it's your job to let her know that now that you are an adult you will help her with those feelings. You will take care of her and she doesn't need to worry about those sorts of things anymore. That's your job. Then tell her you're sorry that it's taken you so long to know she was there asking for help. After a time, if you ask "Self" to forgive you, she probably will.
Lord, I've gotten all heady, but that really is a snapshot of the type of work I've done to get where I am today. I'm really not a touchy feely sort of guy, but this is my truth and hell, if I can't share it with you all, with whom would I share?!
Bless you all for being here and listening. This board is becoming a pretty powerful tool!
