Dec 10 Thursday

Morning fellow sojourners: 

Thanks everyone for the discussion of OA.   We have AA here but not OA so I will have to check on line.  A very good friend is with AA and I am going to talk with him.  

As for peanut butter.  I like the ADAMS brand as it is all natural.  But must admit you have to really swirl the oil out/in.  Tried making my own once and that was a disaster.   However because I like it all too well I don't have it in the house. 

Paula hope that you feeling better and Ocean I think that you are being wisely cautious with adding calories back very slowly. 

An excellent calorie day but the walking part was pathetic.  I mostly walked around the yard picking up the blowdowns from the trees that ring our place.   Last night heard a terrific thud on the roof so there is more to collect today.  The roof is not leaking and that is the main thing. 

We have had 5 wind and rain  storms in 7 days with another barreling through tonight. 

There is a work luncheon today and a coffee klatch ( what an old fashioned word there ) with a few friends at 9am. 

Have a wonderful Thursday everyone. 

Legs still sore and swollen but getting a little better. I can't take the wraps off until Saturday. That will make 8 days without a shower! Washing my hair in the sink and sponge baths are getting old. I'm not one to sit still for long, so the recovery from this one is difficult. I feel fine for the most part but it doesn't take much movement to make the legs swell up and then tingle.

Scale was up .8 lbs this morning. I'm not going to worry about it with all the fluid shift my body is doing right now.

I love the taste of natural peanut butter but don't like mixing either. Had extra calories at the end of the night yesterday so had some ice cream - it didn't even taste very good, which I am pleased about since ice cream is one of my weaknesses. I'm not tempted to eat it again anytime soon.

Have fun at the Luncheon Carbon!

Today I'm fighting some old tapes trying to play in my head.

I'm up 1.1 pounds from yesterday. I had a good session on the elliptical - over 2 miles and kept my heart rate up for the duration. My calories were a little high - 150 over target, but still reduced by about 600 for the day. Given that it was a "good day" food and exercise wise I'm peeved. I'm having to fight that old "why do I even bother when this is how my body pays me back?" attitude. The little rebel in me is jonesing for something sugary and "naughty". I'm serious in telling you that frosting came to mind when one of the students mentioned decorating gingerbread men. OMG - really????

I don't quite understand why I'm so thrown by this today. I think it may be because I was so hopeful to be down even a little more today and be closer to my goal for the new year. I have felt so positive, upped my exercise, been deliberate in eating only when hungry, etc.... I'm afraid I won't "show" any loss for the week when I record my weight for tomorrow. I find this so disappointing today. 

Logically, I know this happens, but I'm not dealing with logic right now. It's a deep feeling that is rising up from the depths. I know this feeling - it's frustration and confusion and despair. These are the feelings the fat little boy still inside has, knows and understands. The only way he knows how to cope is by eating. I'm writing here to help me remind myself that my adult needs to take care of the little guy today and make sure he is comforted and consoled without food.

I am feeling better already just having written this down and putting it out there. I am acknowledging that today may be rough on the food front. That's okay. I will be okay in the end. I can even turn my attitude around. I know this because I know everything I put in my mouth is a choice and each choice has consequences - be they negative or positive.

Happy Thursday, everyone!

I hear you.  I guess by the nature of our issues we've all been there countless times. But here's the deal. Having irrational thoughts doesn't make us weird - it's internalizing and acting upon them that makes us crazy. You're doing neither.  Today is but a fleeting moment. Actually our thoughts feelings and perceptions are changing every few seconds. So this is temporary.

Damn those tapes!  Glad you wrote about them, though, Kairk, as admitting to them helps not to act.  Glad you felt better after writing!

     Maintenance is not a destination (which infers end point), but a process.  Kairk, I agree that writing the feelings can really help integrate what we logically know in our heads and with those old tapes that keep trying to override the logic.  The cravings out of no where for "treats" is one of the things that led me to primal eating.  I know if I let simple sugar, grains, wheat etc. back into my diet... all bet's are off for me.  I then crave all sorts of crap, and I relapse.  "All or nothing thinking" is a double edged sword, and I need to find beauty in the gray, but to me I'm either in recovery or I'm in relapse.

     Carbonated... good luck with the clean-up and winds.  Paula... I hope you continue to feel better and that  the swelling subsides. 

Luckily for me, I have learned that my cravings always have an inspiration. They never just come out of nowhere. For me it seems that dealing with the origin of the craving is more productive than powering through a craving. That powering through strategy always backfires on me in the long run and eventually I end up in some degree of a binge.

We are all so different in this aspect. Living a food life is so complex for those of us with true food issues, isn't it?

I'm at 113 again today. Christmas tree remains bare :-(

hi all,  well it must be the approaching winter solstice that has us a little down. Kairk, go hug a doggie. 

Ya know, we all kind of assume that the scale reflects was we did in the immediately preceding 24 hours. but I think its more of a continuum of trends. maybe i will research this or ask dr. C.  so what the scale says this am is not just what i did yesterday - i think.   gotta remember that or find out more.  

128 today.  should be an active couple of days due to several raku firings and costco trips.  have a blood draw scheduled. maybe i should weigh myself before and after!  

coffee klatch. love that term. but it usually means sweets.  diane

Completely agree about trends Diane!  Other than sodium intake which shows an immediate result on the scale, it's what we're doing over time that dictates the numbers. Funny how I can conveniently forget my bad behavior from days long past, but the scale doesn't!  

Afterthought - and not to say it's the total story but the most part we're talking about a 3500 calorie add or loss that changes the number.  We don't do that in a day or two anymore.  But in a week? Maybe.  A month? Easy