Thursday November 5

good morning fellow maintenance peeps. Looks like I beat Carbon to the board this morning. 

I'm back at 115 this morning. No idea where all the poop sits in this little body but it seems to have no problem finding places to hide. 

Yesterday was a very hard day emotionally. I was dealing with some unpleasant stuff that I've been trying to avoid and of course that only works for so long. Considered breaking out into a binge but thank god I managed to truck through the awful feelings without going there.I've been struggling with depression and anxiety most of this year and it sucks.

 Better days ahead I hope!  

Good morning everyone!

Linda, so sorry you had to go through some tough stuff, but so happy for you that you worked through it without going to the food.  What an awesome accomplishment!

Well, I took the plunge and weighed myself this morning.  Of course the number wasn't where I'd like it to be, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I'd imagined it to be.  Phew!  Thanks Kairk for the nudge I needed!

I met my commitment of eating mindfully yesterday and it felt great!  I am making that commitment again for today.

My gratitude for today is for my family.  I have a very loving and supportive husband, and two great kids.  We have our issues, but we also have lots of love and laughs.  Even my 17 year old, in lucid non-teenlike moments :), tells us she loves us and has even been able to admit that her life is so much better than some others and that she's grateful for that.

Have a great Thursday!   Mary

I am grateful to have a comfortable life. I have a home, a mortgage, a car, some money in my pocket most days, and while, like everyone, I need to be careful and budget, I am so very fortunate to be in the financial position I have. I do work hard and have the grooming clients on the side to make ends meet, but you know what - at least I have that opportunity and skill to make it happen! 

Scale was down today. Hit a new low. The weight seems to be coming off a little more slowly, but that's okay - it's coming off. I noticed today that I don't feel "fat". My jeans are loose and my new jeans have some stretch or something to them and I can't wear them without them falling down past my hips so they are baggy, baggy, baggy. 

Feeling good and happy to keep doing what I'm doing. 

Linda, I understand completely. My heart goes out to you - cyber hug....

I had some very dark days for about 9 months or so. I finally sought help. I saw two separate psychologists - one form my PCP's office and the other I found. The other focuses on disordered eating and addiction. I see her every other week right now. My doc's psych recommended I go on a mild anti-depressant. I started Wellbrutrin in March (added benefit is it is a mild appetite suppressant). It has helped stabilize my mood and made decision making easier and has helped me look logically at my disordered eating, life, etc.. with more compassion. 

I appreciate the hug and your concern Kairk.  I have indeed taken some additional counselling but I've had no luck with meds.  I find that the depression/anxiety thing is tricky because the ones that deal to with my depression and don't add to appetite (i.e.. Wellbutrin) actually increase my anxiety.  I've tried many single meds and combos over the years (even spent considerable time consulting with a psychiatrist who specializes in meds), but never found the right mix for me.  So for now, there doesn't seem to be a medication regime that adds enough benefit to offset the side effects.  However, it may be something I'll have to revisit if things don't improve over the next few months.  

Addition - I should have added that there is a situational issue that I am hoping will be 'resolved' (or at least lessened) shortly, which I hope will help!