184

My surgery was 2010. I lost 130 lbs to get to 134. Almost immediately gained to 150 which turned out to be my happy place. I maintained 150 for the longest time but then I let my guard down and started believing I was normal. Today I stepped on the scale and weighed 184. I feel so defeated, restless and terrified at the same time....almost like a caged wild animal. I don't know how to get out of this mess. I've tried starting over and going back on the pre-surgery diet, I've tried the 5 day pouch test, I've tried journaling, I've tried searching my soul to see if there is a mental reason that I'm doing this to myself but I just keep falling off the wagon. Please help me. 

Hi,

I'm so sorry you are struggling and feeling defeated. There is no shame in gaining weight after WLS. Statistically it is the norm. Perhaps you have gained far more than you wanted, but look at from where you came. You are still 82 pounds lighter than you were when you started! That's an entire 12 year old boy! LOL!

Honestly, you really need to figure out what the intrinsic value is in your off program eating. It's there. It may be hiding from you, but it's there. It may be as simple as your leptin response. (Read Fat Chance by Robert Lustig, MD to understand leptin response. It's a fantastic book to understand the physical nature of obesity.)

I understand your panic, but you must get through the panic to set yourself right again. You are almost 5 years out (if not already). At this point it is normal to forget the drive and accountability you maintained to make it to your weight goal. You need to harness that drive and discipline once again. And honestly, it is a choice. It is often a hard choice and one that many roadblocks are thrown before, but it boils down to choice.

I say these things to you because I have walked in your shoes. I know what it feels like to regain and have to set myself right again. If I were you, this is what I would do (take it or leave it):

1. Track every bite of food that goes in your mouth until you've reached your goal.

2. Eat a high protein, moderate fat, low carb diet.

3. Drink plenty of water (72-80+ ounces per day). No other liquids do not count in that measurement!

4. Consider a 3 day reset of protein shakes (if your carb cravings are through the roof).

5. Plan your meals the day before and stick to the plan.

6. Be prepared for the temptation for off plan eating and have a strategy in place to deal with surprise food situations.

I really don't mean to be harsh, just honest. Stand up and own your weight gain. Commit to doing something about it. It's not futile. You can lose those 34 pounds, if you really want to.

You are not being harsh Kairk, you are being very helpful. I now have a starting over place. I've printed out your message and ordered the book. Thank you so very much for taking the time to help out a stranger. =)

This is actually really insightful!  I like honesty and this is not too harsh, IMHO.  It's just simple truth.  I want to keep this for future reference :)  Thanks, Kairk!!

Linda, I have no experienced advice to offer because I have not yet experienced regain.  Please notice that I said 'yet' because as Kairk says, it is inevitable.  It's all in how we deal with it.  Kairk has laid out the best advice already, but if I could add to that in terms of what helps me so far, I would say that daily weighing and reporting have been very helpful.  I'd invite you to join us here daily.  Lots of great support and accountability - no drama!

Thank you! 

Many of us have been there.  In fact, I'm in a place of regain (19 pounds currently) and I hate it.  But the panic is past me and I'm simply buckling down to get the weight off now.  Kairk hit the nail on the head.  His advice is very practical.

Pick a method and a plan to get back on track and then HOLD YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE to it.  Tracking food is #1 for me.  It's very insightful (and sometimes makes me feel stupid).  A sure fire way for me personally to see where I'm making poor choices.  It's all about choices.

I also weigh daily but look at my weight trend on a weekly basis (every Friday is my official weigh in).  It helps remind me why I'm making hard choices.