Daily Maintenacne Weigh In- Friday, December 12, 2014

153.4 - not good, What is good is that I recognize that it does not reflect Who I Am, just only Where I am on the scale. (and that, as I said, is not good- too much pretending I'm normal and can eat toast with butter and cream cheese whenever I have a mind-less-ness about me to do so.)

So--my computer has returned to me--It was glitching so very badly over a period of time I just had to take it in to be cleaned and reset...kept me off for a while--and, yah, also my pretending to be disinterested in all things mindful in maintenance. Sigh...

Today is my 2 year surgversity.  I have so much to be grateful for  Number one on the list of hundreds is probably the rightful recognition that, given my late state of mind the last month I would be well into regain that (historically-been there-done that at least who knows how many times) AND that that regain would not end until I was back at or above my previous high weight- somewhere around 350--most likely arriving there sometime late summer of '15.   I take this as a true victory--that maybe for once in my life I've learned something about my relationship with food and developed skills for dealing. 

So, today I am day three into a saner relationship with food, and down from a high of 159something.  Stephanie---thanks for your kind thoughts and good energy; aware that you care is a string that I hang onto.

Dog gone this is hard, but, well, I'm worth the effort, right?      Cyber hugs and smiles today,  bonnie

I'm SO FREAKIN HAPPY to see you Bonnie!  You've been on my mind, so I'm relieved to know that you are alright.  Well, you're more than alright because you're actually AWESOME!  I recognize your truths, especially the one about staying down in the food until surpassing the previous high weight.  But instead, you are back, you are present and accounted for.  Good on ya Darlin'

I'm at 114 today.  All is well, but I need to be vigilant, so scaling back a bit

153.5# must be the number of the day!  Partying too hard...back at it today!!

Bonnie...So happy you're back!!!  Happy Survergivery!!! This is hard stuff!!!  

Bonnie, Happy surgiversary!

Still walking the right path, 5 weeks on track as of today, though if I'm brutally honest with myself, I think I have to count one day's damage this week as officially a binge.  I'm pretty sure there's no way to justify a half bag of soy crisps, on top of a couple of less egregious snacks.  

Today was a random day off - I usually try to plan a couple of those to reduce the stress of all the holiday business.  Then my husband cleverly suggested that maybe we ought to skip buying each other a zillion presents this year, and suddenly we have very little stress, and time for symphony concerts and gatherings with friends.  He's a smart cookie!

So I had time to spend my morning out hiking instead of shopping or wrapping.  It's clearly been too long, I came home more pooped than that hike would normally justify, but I enjoyed it thoroughly.   And I'm grateful to have gotten the carb monkey back in his cage so that it feels like I can trust myself not to spend the day bingeing.

Have a great weekend everyone!