600 lb life

I just got done watching ALL of the 600 lb life episodes.  Pretty amazing.  i finished with 'Penny's story."

i thought it was pretty interesting that they chose to show a failure amongst the successes. 

I guess it did not make me as angry as some other folks felt - but it did remind me that i ended up needing surgery because i was able to delude myself for a long time.  Seeing that delusion in the *extreme* reminded me that I used the same tactics on myself for years.

I even remember my wife asking me - out of genuine curiosity, not anger or trying to convince me of anything, "what are you telling yourself that allows you to eat like that?"

I didn't have a good answer.  I wasn't telling myself anything.  Especially "no."

Now "why" I wasn't is not totally clear.  But I've been thinking about why I overate so much because that's going to be the key to *not* doing that in the future.

I'm still sorting through that... but shows like that keep reminding me that I must keep thinking about it and trying to sort it out.  I think I'm getting there... hopefully I'm not deluding myself!