How do I get back on track?

I reached my 4 year anniversary in October and never got to my goal weight but gained health. Here I am after the holidays dreading to get on the scale. By "feel" and clothes I think I gained 30 pounds. Seems like the remaining fat has made fast friends with the new fat and it has increased the girth around my hips and thighs.

I never conquered my emotional eating and tend to graze from after dinner until I fall asleep. Should I mention I also have difficulty sleeping despite melatonin, valerian root and magnesium. Further complicating that is that I do not feel in control of that behavior. All reason and logic is beyond my grasp in those hours. I am a night person and in the morning I am not hungry until about 3pm but after that I am insatiable. I do have 1 cup of coffee and protein in the morning just to get something in. I have great restriction in the morning.

I know i need to change but my desire for the foods that make me gain seems to have taken over. The fear of regaining all my weight is looming around me. I feel disappointed, lost and unable to turn myself around. SO here are my feelings that are on the surface just dumped out... perhaps that helps a bit. How do I get back the motivation that put me on the right path! It seems I am fighting myself constantly.

Can anyone give me some loving suggestions? My self-critic is beating me up!

Im kind of in the same boat.  Im not hungry at all until i eat and then it seems like I cant even last 2 hrs and Im starving.  I think a lot of mine could be boredom in a way.  So Im trying to eat every 3 hours no matter if Im hungry or not to see if that will help me  not be so hungry later in the day.  Im trying to make myself only drink water or tea in between meals.  Maybe that is something you can try.  I also try and stay low carb.

Hi,  Diva --

I'm pretty new to maintenance, so WL mode is still very fresh in my mind.  :)  I thought I would see if I have any suggestions for you, but I wondered first if I could ask a couple of questions to clarify your situation a bit more?

I did read that you are a night person.  What are your normal times for getting up and going to bed? 

Do you have problems with eating any particular proteins or other foods?  What were your go-to proteins when  you were in active WL mode?

Do you still weigh/measure all intake and log it in some fashion?

How is your fluid intake?  And your supplements other than the sleep-related ones??

I would tell you, gently but firmly, to get on that scale and face the number.  I really think that's the first step.  Whatever is, is.

Hope to hear back from you so that the brainstorming may commence.  There are some pretty smart and experienced people who hang out here who will have better wisdom to share than me, but I'll be happy to squeak in my .02's worth.  :)

Starting with full disclosure, I am 15 lbs above my low, and struggling to get back down.  So, take this for what it's worth, from someone else who clearly doesn't have all the answers.  But, using the advice below, I am two pounds lower than I was on December 1st, so it's worth at least what you're paying for it.  *grin*

When I start feeling that "out of control" feeling, I cut out all sugar for at least a week.  I don't know why, but if I have a single teaspoon of sugar in my coffee, one cookie, anything, I feel more out of control, and it's almost impossible to say no to anything else.  I have to stop it before it starts.

The only other things I can recommend are making sure you're still doing some form of physical activity (go for walks, whatever), and for me, I double up on the B12 and take some St. Johns Wort, as it helps me (not a medical professional, no advice, consult your own, yadda yadda).

For starters, I'd argue that motivation requires regular care and feeding, particularly if you're trying to break bad habits and haven't gotten yourself into a groove yet.  Stand in front of the mirror for a few minutes an have a conversation with yourself about why you want to get back on track.  Start a journal, and write down the reasons you started this, the ways your life has improved since losing weight, the things you're looking forward to on your journey to goal.  Put that goal at the front of your mind, envision it, and stoke that motivation.  For me, it's not enough somehow to be unhappy with being off track, I need to focus on the rewards of being on track!

Set yourself SMALL goals (drink a glass of water when I get up each morning), and give yourself a literal pat on the back or a cheer when you meet them.  Aiming for small, achievable changes and celebrating them is a great way to build success momentum.  Feels silly at first, but is surprisingly effective.  (Search online for Tiny Habits and read up n Professor Fogg's techniques to achieving behavior change).

Then, when you're ready to tackle your eating, I'd try a couple of things, and neither of them is going to be easy, but you've come so far, I think you can absolutely get yourself turned back around.

(1)  Get yourself on a more regular meal schedule.  Erratic meals lead to erratic blood sugar and erratic appetite.  Aim for three meals, at reasonably regular intervals during your waking hours.  Focus on DENSE protein.  Hard boiled egg.  Chicken Breast.   If you're getting plenty of protein and

(2)  Get yourself off of carbs and sugar (those ARE the foods you desire that make you gain, right?)  The first few days to a week will be hard, there's no denying it.  Carbs and sugar make you crave carbs and sugar.  It's essential that you pull yourself out of that vortex, and filling up on dense protein, and then drinking lots of water (or tea, or your sugar-free beverage of choice) can make it easier.  If you're wanting to eat in between meals, and you filled up on dense protein, you can bet it's head hunger, not real hunger.  Find a distraction - ideally get out of the house, or at least away from the kitchen.  Go for a walk.  Dance to some music.  Call a friend.  Take a few minutes to write in your journal.  Keep yourself busy!  Once you've detoxed you'll begin to feel that sense of control you've lost.

Been there, done that, battling the regain but winning.  Send me a PM if I can help or commiserate!

First of all I want to thank all *****plied and you all had great insights. Escape, you really hit the nail on the head and I thank you so much for your help. A big part of me wanted to languish in my hedonistic, whim-based way of feeding my desires (with food substituting for every wish I have). I was on break from work, the pool was having construction, the world was filled with white flour, sugar, fat and alcoholic goodies for the holidays and I was feeling empty. Yes it started with emotion and then by ingesting those addictive foods in excess, I got locked behind the bars of the hunger induced cycle. I got really messed up.

You are so right that motivation needs feeding and that is what I can do with your excellent suggestions. Reading that made me feel good! Listing all I have overcome in the last few years made me marvel at the strength I thought I had lost.

So right, detox sux!

Thank you so much!