PaulaToronto
on 6/26/13 3:18 am - Toronto, Canada VSG on 12/06/11 with Dennis Hong

I have had an eating disorder since I was 12 - compulsive overeating/bingeing that started after a traumatic event.  I sought treatment and at various points in my life had it well under control. Prior to surgery it wasn't under control for several years as I gained weight, diabetes, etc. etc.

Post surgery, I did really well. I was eating three meals a day and snack and exercising and everything was going well until I hit maintenance. I felt I had the disease under control but was I fooling myself? Was my restriction just a way to support my eating disorder?

Once I hit maintenance and upped my calories and tried adding other foods (like fruit carbs) my need to binge returned with a vengeance.  At first I thought it was just self sabotage but now 6 months later this disease is raging and I am really struggling to get a sense of control back. My stomach restriction is not so apparent anymore and bad choices/decisions is leading to regain.

Have others experienced this?  Was I wrong to think I was handling my disease when in fact my reduced stomach made it very easy not to overeat/binge?

I have gone back to basics, protein and vegs and water and cleaned my house out of fruit, and other carby foods that I binge on. I am seeing a new ED therapist starting next week.

I never considered that this surgery aided and abetted my ED.  What do you think? How did you handle your returning eating disorder? 

Has anyone else have problems with eating fruit in moderation. Fruit like grapes, berries and cherries are trigger foods for me and I cannot eat them in moderation.  I never thought I would have to be fruit abstinent. I went fruit free for the first year so I can do it but I don't want to do it. Singe size servings will have to be my go to for the next little while. 6 cherries in a bag and no other fruit for the week feels like punishment at this point in time since cherries are in season and my absolute favorite fruit and considered low in carbs. However it leads to more fruit and then cravings for other sweet things.

I have to go back in WL mode, get the regain off then try maintenance very differently this time.

Does your center or Dr. Cirangle address the return of ED? Any info you can share with me?  I'll pay for printing and or mailing.

Thanks for you help, Paula

Hugs to you. You should be very proud of yourself for recognizing the problem. I don't know much about ED, so I can't speak to it.

But, I do think that this is a lifelong journey. We tend to be so good at fooling ourselves with how we think about food. We have to be on constant alert.

Your plan to get back on track sounds like a good one.

Take care.

Thanks for your support - it does help.

Unfortunately, your story looks more than a little too familiar to me.  I'm looking forward to any wisdom this group can share!

I got within about a pound of my personal goal, but am struggling fiercely again with binge eating and have regained too may.  I'm finding for me it's a combination of triggering foods and old habits (and new bad habits - I took up sf gum at some point to deal with the urge to chew without causing too much damage, but I think it's exacerbated the habit) .  I'm very much in the process of determining which foods are ok in moderation, and which I need to abstain from for my own food sanity, working on my bad habits, etc.  I've always known I was going to need to do the mental / emotional work to deal with my history of overeating / binging, but I'm a bit lost as to what that work looks like. 

It sounds like you're on the right track to get yourself back to a therapist.  I've explored the therapy route, and while I found it beneficial, it focused so much on learning why I overeat / binge, when what I really needed was help with the what to do about it part.  Perhaps I just needed a different therapist. 

For me, I think the early months were far easier for a combination of reasons - no carbs, even healthy carbs, so no physical aspect of craving, the more intense restriction, and the positive reinforcement of motivation that rapid weightloss provides.  I consider conquering my ED to be a life-time project (sigh...)

If you're willing, I'd be very interested in staying in touch as you work through this, I think we're all stronger together in this process.  There's no doubt this is a hard road, but I really do think we can walk it, and it's so worth it.

Thanks so much for sharing - it helps to know I am not alone.  I would love to keep in touch. Where are you located? I started a small maintenance group and certainly bingeing is something we talk about in these get togethers. 

PM me your name and number and I will do the same.  I have a long distance plan.

I agree that much of therapy has been the why and not how to fix it. I am reading a couple of books right now that are more on how to fix it and we can talk about those if you wish.

 TTYS Paula