Maintenance = Balance

So, every so often I'll get "challenged" by a few on the main board..... mainly by a "happy teacher" or a "calsleevin" and they firmly point comments back to myself or Elina or Ruggie.......or Dr.C

They claim their WL plan is "balanced".......

Heres the deal...... there is nothing "balanced" about the WL phase !!!!! WL is so out of balance.....really, because you have a few more carbs and a few more cals that actually puts you in balance????

WL is about an pretty heavy caloric deficit to lose a pretty dramatic amount of body weight in a pretty short time. 6 months or 2 years to lose 100lbs. are both considered rapid WL.

Balance is another term for Maintenance. Some balance out at 2500 cals. and some may balance at 1200..... some may balance at 40 grams of carbs and someone else may balance at 200 grams......

Maintenance is also where you can find out what kind of balance you desire between proteins, starches, sugars, veggies and fruits.

What do you consider "balanced" ???

frisco

I have a different perspective on what balance is and I do think, when you look at balance from my POV, it is possible in WL. BUT I don't think it's what those people challenging you think it is either. Because I completely agree with this statement:

"6 months or 2 years to lose 100lbs. are both considered rapid WL."

The dieting industry has kind of brainwashed into thinking that 1-2 pounds of weight loss a week is "slow" and that 1200 calories a day is this magic threshold that if you keep above it, you are somehow protected from any of the bad impacts of rapid dieting, but that isn't really true. (Or X amount of carbs.) When I went to Nutri/system back in the 80s, it wasn't a crash diet and I followed it to the t and did everything they told me. And I lost my gallbladder! I was told by the ER docs that "well, that's a possible side effect of rapid weight loss". But I had "only" lost 70 pounds over a 7 month period! That's rapid to your body, they said. And it is.

Anyway, to me, balance is a mental thing. It's not an excuse to eat stuff I know is bad for me. Or to deliberately lose less weight than I know I can just so I can say I have "balance."

When I was in WL mode, I did what I had to in order to lose as fast as I could. I wanted it over as fast as possible because I knew I only had so much patience for dieting. I ate as little as I could and still have the energy to get through my daily activities -- whi*****ludes quite a bit of exercise. Some people would tell you that I wasn't in balance AT ALL because I was eating 900 calories a day, keeping carbs around 45 g and training for a triathlon and that sounds *pretty extreme*.

But, to me, balance isn't about how many carbs you eat. It's about being mentally balanced. It's about finding your dieting "chi" to use fancy-pants, New Age terminology. (Which I never do. LOL) It's about throwing off that All or Nothing thinking so that you can learn what truly works for you and break the cycle of weight loss / weight regain.

So when I was losing, no food was off the table for me in theory. I had my nutritional goals. The < 800 calories a day, the < 40 g of carbs, et. al. I had my exercise goals -- 45 to 60 min. 4-5x a week. And, within that, anything was "allowed".

Now, the reality is that I wasn't going to make those nutritional goals if I did nothing but eat Twinkies all day. But -- IN THEORY -- I could eat Twinkies *if I wanted to*. But, I had to make the goals. So that meant, most days, no Twinkies. Or maybe only 1 or 2 bites. (Except I hate Twinkies. So for me it wasn't Twinkies but Brownies and Chocolate Candy. Twinkies are a metaphor.)

And, because I gave myself permission to eat anything as long as it met my goals, two things happened. One thing is that food started to lose it's grip on me. Some of the power it had lessened.

The second thing that happened is that I learned. I learned how often I could have that stuff and still meet my goals (not very often but more often than never). I also learned that I was okay with not eating that kind of food very often as long as I knew I could have it sometimes. I learned what triggered me and what didn't. I learned what I truly enjoyed vs. what I thought I enjoyed only because it had previously been forbidden.

I also learned that I am NOT an addict, that the addition model of looking at obesity takes away my power. That I actually can have 1 bite of chocolate cake. (Which is also a metaphor.) That I only thought I couldn't have 1 bite because I gave up my power to the cake. So balance is also about taking back the power.

So that's what being in balance means to me. And I started it before I even had WLS! And I'm still working towards it every day and will probably be working towards it every day for the rest of my life.

Yes. This exactly. 

This is exactly it for me as well. Common sense says that to lose like we do, we are obviously not balanced dietetically, but during and after- if we don't find that mental balance, things tend to go (or stay) haywire.

The all-or-nothings are my biggest trigger to this day, which is why the "MUST, must, abso-******g-luteyisms" of eating xyz or avoiding xyz tend to push my buttons. 

Edited to add to Frisco: Even the folks you mentioned, who talk about "balance"- by and large- they are still eating what would be considered "low carb" at 100g-150g or less a day, and low cal, and they are happy with the results.. if the extra 50g carbs that comes from some oats makes them feel that they are eating more balanced (or more mentally balanced, as they aren't excluding that food entirely) who's to question that really? It's their reality.

Keeping cals lower than your body needs, and eating sub 100g a day, most will lose.. eating closer to 50-75g carbs and things speed up, sub 30-40 and the ketogenic state speeds things further, to a point.. but still- not everyone is looking to race to the finish, and not everyone finds that mental balance if they are suffering to keep their carbs to that low of a state.. To each their own. When things no longer work, I'd imagine the vast majority have the sense to change things up.. and those that don't will settle at whatever weight they decide. 

"When things no longer work, I'd imagine the vast majority have the sense to change things up.."

Well, you'd think that, but... what I see is that that many, many people like to engage in Magic Thinking. They don't want to do the hard work or make the hard choices.

All the time I see people say things like:

I don't understand it ... I'm X months out from surgery (where X is at least 6 months) and I haven't lost any weight in months. I know I've allowed more carbs back into my diet. And I'm not exercising like I should. And I haven't really been pushing the protein. Or drinking all my water. But STILL I don't *think* it could be that bad. I'm *sure* I'm not eating more than 800-1000 calories a day.

And inevitably the response is:

-Ignore the scale - the weight loss will start up again! (magically without you having to change a thing)

-You must not be eating enough calories - you're body is in starvation mode!

-I bet you are gaining muscle - muscle weighs more than fat!

-Have you tried the 5 Day Pouch Test? It "always" works for me (which means they do it a lot which means their definition of "working" isn't mine)

or some other such nonsense answer like that when it's clear the person has slide into maintenance by gradually eating more and moving less.

The people who say that, who say "you need to log your food so you know exactly what you are eating -- I bet you are eating 2x as much as you think" or "you need to tighten up and get back on plan or accept that you are in maintenance and learn to be happy with this weight" are the lone voices in the wilderness and are frequently ignored. At best.

At least it seems that way to me when I'm in the mood I'm in right now which is when I usually have to back away from the Internet for a while. 

Yep, that's when I start thinking about Darwin, and not saving them all.. and back away. I guess I should have said "those that want it, will.. and those that don't will settle into their own.." 

I really do like to think that the average person has some insight when they post stuff like this.. as they frequently lay out the reasons, either on that post or on prior postings (I always look at previous posts before answering to see if there's a pattern.) So they see the problem, they just aren't ready to fix it yet. They are looking for some soothing, which isn't constructive.. but deep down, if they really want it- they likely know what they have to do already.

It's a matter of many factors: some burn out, some don't want to acknowledge that their body just cannot handle their fav foods in the quantities they want on a daily basis, some have deeper seated eating disorders that aren't in remission and are coming back.. so many others. And some frankly due to a sucky metabolism just cannot get down that low and stay that low on just the VSG. I firmly believe this to be true as well, which explains my strong like for the DS when needed. Even with deeper eating disorders, which are only managed- the DS gives a little forgiveness over the other surgeries for the long term. There's no harm in that imo, there's a physical side and mental side.. and tx can help the mental, but the physical alterations whether VSG or DS do help buffer the negative effects somewhat.

I'm so stealing abso-******g-lutelyisms. New favorite word.

Yep.  All of this.

Sing it, Sister!

I am not sure, even at this stage, that I really know what balance means or is.

Most days are just fine in the food department but when I am upset/angry etc.etc. my first reaction is to turn to food.  Now that is not balance at all.

Food still looms large.   

Onward and upward.

For me, "balance" has nothing to do with the foods I eat and everything to do with how I think about those foods. I am not to the point in my thinking that allows me to just eat one bite of cake. Balance is something that I am striving for every single day and it has almost nothing to do with my food plan.

I also need to say that for me, "balance" is something I almost never achieve. I don't consider this a failure. I just feel that balance is something I will work on for the rest of my life. I've learned so much about myself while striving for a balance. I know that I can't have a box of protein bars in my house because I will eat the entire box, but I can go out and buy 1 or 2 protein bars when needed and I'm fine. I know that if I eat a nibble off a carrot, I will soon be onto any carbs I can get my hands on. I know that I have to make a plan for getting back on track after a vacation, otherwise I will struggle much longer than I need to. None of those things have anything to do with my food plan and everything to do with the way I think about food.

Talking about eating a balanced diet is easy for folks that have regular day worries. But, throw a curve ball into their lives and balance is the first thing that goes out the window. And, IMO, rightly so.The mental part of WL and WLS are the greatest struggle, imo.