So discouraged

Hi all,

I haven't been on for awhile. Life is a true challenge right now for my family. My dad is at stage IV COPD. We have been in and out of the hospital for 2 months but finally home to start home hospice. I know I am definitely an emotional eater now. I am blessed to have a career where I can work from home to take care of my father (although it is a very intense job to complete remotely) but am finding it very hard to maintain my weight. My father is requesting his favorite foods and I am more than happy to keep them in the house for him as his quality of life is so important. Unfortunately, most of these foods are true trigger foods and along with being an emotional eater, I feel so discouraged. I wake up each day saying today I will get back on track but fall off not long after. I know what to do but everything on my plate pushes this to the background. I know I need more support for everything that is going on but don't have the time for it..I feel so overwhelmed. I just needed to come here and vent. On a positive note, I still make it a priority to get up early and go to the gym.

Tammy

You've got to be kind to yourself. Give yourself lots of hugs. Eat the best you can under the current cir****tances. Forgive yourself for the times that the emotional eating takes control. Be ready with a plan on how you are going to get back on track with your eating as soon as cir****tances allow.

Being a caregiver is one of the hardest, most stressful things I've ever done. I was the daytime caretaker for my Grandmother until she died because my mother passed on in 2004. I know my mom would have done it, and it was one small thing I could do for my mom after she died - taking care of HER mom.  It takes so much patience and perseverance

So glad you are taking time to go to the gym. Here's some other things that I suggest you do:

- Don't hover. Let him do the few things he can still do on his own.

- Set up a time each day that is just for you and hold onto that time like you just found a rare gem. Find someone to be there for your dad during your "me" time.

. Take a walk. Even if it's just in the back yard. Don't break any records. I used to go outside while my grandma ate her lunch and pick weeds. Just walk (or whatever) and try to think about nothing. Or, get an ipod and download some books, or songs you like and listen to that while you walk.

- I spent a lot of time going through old photos and having my grandma tell me who all of the people were. I found out so much about my family that I didn't know. It was really cool.

*HUGS* Remember - you can only take care of everyone else if you are first taking care of yourself. Not always an easy thing to do, I know.

 

Sorry you are having to deal with this. I agree with Tammy, you have to take care of you so that you have the reserves to take care of your dad. Hope you can find soma balance and time for yourself.

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I agree with everything Slim said. **HUGS**

I work from home too, although I'm home alone while the kids are at school, it's a challenge sometimes not to graze. I keep MyFitnessPal.com up in one of my tabs all day so I can quickly add everything I eat to it - EVERYTHING, even the bad stuff. It helps me be accountable to myself.

But, give yourself a break too... it's a lot on your shoulders.

Personally, I don't think this is the time to be getting back on track. Other things are more important.

Lots of HUGS. I am so sorry that you are going through this. Like the others have said, please try to take of yourself during this very difficult time.

Oh Tammy.  I'm sorry you are going through all this, but glad you posted for support here.  Sometimes just knowing you have friends that want to lift you back up helps the mindset.  I'm with Mac on this one.  Make your priority taking care of Dad.  I think I would probably enjoy those meals with him to add to our time together.  When cir****tances change you can work your tool and get anything you gain back off.  Don't beat yourself up about it.  Your quality of life is important too so do what you feel is right for you, but don't fret over it sweetie.

Big Hugs to you and congrats on hitting the gym daily, I'll bet that helps you let off steam.  Take care and we're here for ya.

Deb

Thank you to all for the support, suggestions, and ((hugs)). I felt them all the way here in California :-).

Tammy

Oh boy, I see myself in your letter.  Perhaps I can offer a few little tips.  Keep the water coming every time you are tempted.  I also know how easy it is to forget and chow like the old days.  Try taping a post-it note on all of his foods with a note in bold saying something like,

NO !! 

DAD ONLY !! 

Sometimes we need to remind ourselves to avoid those foods.

Good luck.  One of the best parts of taking care of your dad in his final time is you will never regret that you did this.  God bless you.

Hi Tammy ,

 

i just lost my dad December 23rd and was also his caregiver. He was COPD and Alzheimer's. I always called him my Cookie Monster. Oh my how he loved sweets. It was exhausting and stressful but such a sweet sweet time and I wouldn't trade anything for it. One thing I figured out that helped a lot was I stayed on track all day and then for the evening meal I had what he had including cookies. Kinda gave us a special meal time enjoying his favorites but kept me from gaining.  No regrets either. I agree with the others, carve some me time out every day. Sometimes I would walk outside the hospital or rehab just for fresh air. Hospice folks are fantastic, too. 

Just wanted to send you a hug and say hang in there!

 

God bless!