Daily Maintenance Weigh-In - Wednesday May 2nd, 2013

Good Morning fellow VSGer's!

131.6 for me this morning.  Another pound gone.  I am beginning to wonder if perhaps there is a thyroid problem going on now?  I've lost a pound every day this week pretty much.  Going to give my family doctor a call today.

Mornin' All!

180.9 this morning.  I'm a bit on the emotional side, though am feeling calm as I write this.  I heard from my brother last night, who we lost contact with more than 20 years ago.  I'm thrilled that we have finally connected.  But there are so many regrets too.  I've had a possible address for him for a few years now, but other leads had been dead ends.  He has also had many issues over the years, and I was so afraid of what I would (or wouldn't) find, that I just did nothing with the info.  I gave this last known address to the insurance company, as my dad left a policy to be split between my brother and me.  Now I feel so badly that I could have found him sooner, and he and my dad could have reconnected before our dad died.  He told me he had been homeless for awhile, and I know we had very little, but I could have helped a bit......and so on.  I am trying to recognize that what I did was to protect myself emotionally, and that at least we are in touch now.  I will get there, but am trying to stay even today as I sort through these conflicting feelings.

Oh my goodness!  That is so wonderful!  Of course you are emotional as you have every ' right' to be so.

Family!

All the best as you move forward on this relationship.

Thanks so much!  We were always close as kids, so I'm hoping we can become so again.

Sometimes we are too hard on ourselves, the only control one has is over themselves, you can't control what situations happen and the outcome. Feel blessed you found your brother and can reconnect. You mention you had to protect yourself emotionally, you had a very strong reason for handling things the way you did. Move on and forward that's all you can do.I've had to learn things the hard way and now I realize moving forward and putting the past behind is the best thing I can do  to take care of me.

Well up two this morning. And a confession.

I sometimes make fudge for my co-workers and have never eaten any.  Except for yesterday.  

Had just come out of a very emotional two weeks.  Three friends died, plus two older people that I have known all my life.  A beloved colleague retired and until they hire someone am now holding down three positions.   A relative was given devastating medical news.

I thought that I was holding it all together but yesterday out of the blue I had FIVE LARGE pieces of fudge.  Just one right after another I popped them into my mouth.  I don't believe I even tasted them.

So of course three/four hours later I get the sugar let down shakes which was dreadful as I had forgotten what they were like.

Ate some protein ( cheese which is full of salt ) and walked for 3/4 hour.  That calmed me down.

But it was a learning experience that I don't want to repeat.

So no wonder am up two pounds.  I deserve every ounce.

Today is another day and we will go upward and onward.  Still one pound below goal of 160 but I would like to lose the two pounds.

The annoying part is that obviously am still using food to cover up pain and distress. 

Have a good day everyone.

I am so sorry about all of your losses and distressing news.  It is very understandable why you are feeling overwhelmed.  I'm also glad for you that you were able to see this situation as a learning experience and don't want to go back there.  This journey is one of progress, not perfection.  Hugs to you!!

184.2 - Another pound up on less than 1000 calories a day.

Having to call my PCP again.  I am needing something stronger to help the bowel situation until this hernia gets repaired.  It actually makes me feel horrible, both emotionally and physically.  The distended stomach, the nauseous feeling every time I eat.  Oddly enough though I find that the nauseous feeling actually makes me hungrier - weird.  I feel an odd compulsion to graze when my stomach feels upset.  I am guessing its a vagus nerve conflation, the same network of nerves that makes you feel a kick in the balls in you stomach.

I know that feeling :(

Got up for early flight. So groggy I forgot what I weighed or even if I did,  coffee now diane