I will not eat cookies. I will not eat cookies. I will not punch a kitten...

Well, the neuro appointment went worse than I thought. So L4 and L5 are degenerating. I have the herniated disc at L5 and S1. I'm an "excellent candidate for surgery". I don't want to do that until Summer when teacher hubby is home to baby me. So, we're going to see if I can get some relief from injections.

I'm sitting here stuffing myself with a barigoodfood.com meal (turkey and red beans) because right now I want to rip open the pantry and find cookies or cake or chips or something really bad. I figure I'll eat this instead so I can't eat something horrible for lunch. LOL.

My cousin works with a pain management guy, they want me to try that first, but I just don't feel like that will have lasting results. I just want to throw things and scream and cry right now.

Sigh. Not this **** again **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck **** Fuck.

Candy, I am so so sorry you are going through this.  I wish I could take my magic wand and make it better.  Just know that you're in my thoughts and prayers.  So glad you are posting instead of eating.  It also looks like you are in first place over Slim in getting away with the F bomb here! :)

Damnit to hell. That just sucks major ass.

I would try the pain management stuff, but I understand wanting relief that's more permanent.

Punch the ******g kitten. Or, better, throw in a movie that you love and just have a "me" day - if you can.

*hugs*

Candy, this sucks.  I'm so sorry to hear it. 

Is anybody else home with you?  Can you actually throw things and scream (without freaking anybody out) right now?  I would.

You are a brave, strong woman, my friend.  Although things seem dark right now, I know that you know that this too shall pass.  In the meantime, we're all here for you.   Vent away! 

Fiona

When I've been at this level of frustration before, I found taking an empty 2 liter plastic soda bottle and beating the life out of it against a wall, kitchen counter, or similar, while yelling and screaming (with many choice words of course****il I got tired, would help me tremendously.  It wasn't pretty, and I did it when I was alone, but it was a great alternative to eating crap. 

I'm actually okay. I just know what I'm getting into with surgery and it sucks. I'm slowly sucking on a second dark chocolate mini Dove egg right now because I found myself staring at the sugar jar and wondering how many carbs were in a teaspoon. LOL. It's actually a decent choice and will allow me to feel like I cheated, which is what I want right now - yes, this is ****** up, but it works for me LOL

I'm actually okay, though. Because I have time to prepare. Last time was an emergency situation. This time is different. Not great news, but at least I can put it off for a while.

The pain folks already called me. Scheduled for an injection on Monday. I HATE needles so I'm freaked out, but okay.

Punch the ******g cookie!

I'm so sorry for your sucky news.  Chronic pain sucks; surgery sucks; back surgery sucks; recovery sucks.  The only thing to hold onto is that at the end of all the sucking, you'll be pain-free and off the drugs.  Big hugs to you in the meantime.

Yeah, it sucks, but you know... I could be going through all of this with 215 more pounds on my body. I'm trying to look at the bright side LOL

If there were any cookies, I'd punch them for sure. Instead I'll settle for saying the word 'fuck' a whole lot.

Wow. I am sorry that you are going through this. Lots of hugs and positive thoughts going your way. The dove dark chocolate is a good choice. Vent away!!

The whole thing definitely sucks. Chronic pain is a bear.

gail

You should totally punch a kitten. It's exercise.