Keeping going when you're so close to maintenance...

Yeah, that's the up (down?) side to starting out where I did... EVERYONE notices. Heck, a few of the teachers from my kid's school that I don't see often stopped me in the hall a few months ago to ask who I was and what I was doing there. Sigh.

Yeah, I have a flat ass, flat boobs and skinny arms and legs. And a big saggy jiggly belly still. I look like a freakish melted weeble people.

But yeah... I just want to see 150 at this point so I'll keep poking along. It's just getting harder to give **** You'd think I paid $15k for this that I'd be less "ehhh".

Keep on. That's all we can do.

Cheers.

+1000

Love your post!

I'd say one thing... really does it make that much difference?  I mean maintenance and WL aren't that much different as far as I can tell.  Two sides of the same coin... there's no magic moment (for me anyway). I hit my goal. I upped my calories a bit. But really, nothing is different - I still (feel I have to) track every thing from intake to weight, I have to exercise, I have to do everything I did in WL mode - except the scale (hopefully!) never moves much.

This is one of those things in life where it is TOTALLY about the journey and much less about the destination, because really there is no destination.  Just journey.  A long long journey.

Yes. To me, there is no destination. I will be dealing with my eating habits for the rest of my life. I'm definitely not one of those people who can go back to pre-surgery kind of eating.

I started considering myself in maintenance at about a year out - just in the mindset - not the WL. I started analyzing how the maintenance folks think. I also started incorporating that kind of thinking into my daily life. I mess up and eat crap sometimes, but it's one day instead of one week or one month. I've tried to really own the areas where I'm weak (parties - I SUCK at making good choices at parties) and making accommodations for my known weaknesses (but I'm REALLY good at getting back on track really fast. I'm also really good with water and exercise when I'm not nursing an injury).

That's what I've learned from the vets. By not just reading their posts, but analyzing them, I've learned how they each attack (and I do mean attack) maintenance. I also happen to be decent and sizing people up pretty fast. I've noticed that very few people that post their daily weight here go out of their maintenance range more than 2-3 lbs. I also noticed that each person here has a plan.

I completely agree that maintenance will be this right now and it is SO SO much more than just the food I put in my mouth. It's my mindset.

Yesterday I was struggling. Today I'm back in it.

"To me, there is no destination. I will be dealing with my eating habits for the rest of my life. I'm definitely not one of those people who can go back to pre-surgery kind of eating...I completely agree that maintenance will be this right now and it is SO SO much more than just the food I put in my mouth. It's my mindset."

Just had to say, yes, this is exactly how I feel. And it seems truer with every passing year because I keep thinking I should be normal by now. Nope. The old habits constantly try to worm back in. But it is easier now that I have accepted that it's a lifelong struggle..

Lizanne

It was the hardest thing for me to come to terms with - the fact that for me, this will be my lifelong struggle. I think that's why I had to come up with a plan to analyze the vets and see what parts of their maintenance plans would work for me BEFORE I got to maintenance. 

This weekend I did a major mind screw on myself because of something that happened months ago, that might affect a job I want. For the first time I was completely aware of walking up to the "candy drawer" (filled with candy that I normally don't care about) and staring down into it looking for something, anything that I thought I might want to eat. It was a victory in that, in the past, I'd find myself staring into that drawer, but I had no idea how I got there. This time I remember thinking 'wow, I'm really going to walk over to the drawer and open it. This is so damn stupid.'

I'm still so infantile in this journey.

I've tried to really own the areas where I'm weak (parties - I SUCK at making good choices at parties) and making accommodations for my known weaknesses (but I'm REALLY good at getting back on track really fast.

See, this is why I don't post a lot because I don't think my experience is necessarily helpful to most people.  But what you describe is me.  I can allow myself to eat off program at a party or restaurant because I weigh daily and don't let myself get too far off the mark. My weight fluctuates daily so I don't let two or three pounds up bother me, because I know how quickly and easily it will slide back down.  I eat my proteins and stay low calorie most of the time so that the aberrations don't hurt me.

But that's because I'm lucky as hell, and I know that. It's because I CAN do it, and that has nothing to do with will power and everything to do with sheer luck of the draw. Because I do know how it feels to have that crave and eat an entire bag of [fill in the blank with chips or cookies of your choice] or be a pig at a buffet.  But I also am very comfortable with weighing daily (have always done it, even when I hated what the scale told me--it's the only thing that kept me from gaining more and faster). I'm very comfortable with adjusting daily so that the scale's fluctuations are that--fluctuations and not a slow slide up the scale.

And I'm really, really lucky that eating a couple of cookies at a friend's house ends there, and doesn't send me home with a need to wolf down more, and the next day more...

I think I'm AT the destination--and the destination is how I'm eating now.  Mindfully (most of the time) and aware of what I'm doing, with this beautiful tool.  If I don't lose more weight I'm already below what I thought I'd ever reach. But I will lose more. I do want to see what 135 looks and feels like. Just curious--plus, it would put me in the century club!

Jeez, if you've got that much stuff hangin' around you are already at goal, and your "leftovers" account for the 11 pounds.  Get a consult - if only to get an estimate of how much would be removed - I'll bet its in the ballpark of what you think you need to still lose.

Maybe that would help you feel better about the result so far? Which, may I add, is INSANELY GREAT!

Thanks. Yeah, I know, it never really ends. Which sucks. LOL! I want to be done and have "225 pounds gone FOREVER" - what? Doesn't work that way? *******s.

Funny, I have a breakdown and go crazy and... whap... down nearly a pound this morning. LOL! Happens every time. Luckily, the fat seems to have come directly from my upper tummy because that udder looks smaller this morning. *laughing* OMG, I need something stronger than coffee this morning.

Yeah, I'm going to suck it up soon and go for the consult. I'm just having a hard time with it. I know it seems silly, but after spending so many years of being obese and people telling me what's wrong with my body, I'm terrified of standing naked in front of someone while they do it too. It's a mental hump I'm working my way over in therapy. I realize that sounds silly to some. It's my thing though.

Thanks, everyone. I'll just keep plodding along. As Slim says... "what the **** else am I going to do". I'm totally printing that and putting it on my inspiration board (the pantry door!)

I've had two consults. They don't actually tell you what's wrong. It's more positive than that. (Those Plastic Surgeons. They know their market! LOL) It's more like "and you'll look like this" and "I'll take some off here and tighten it up there" and they pull and tug and try to show you what it will look like. I felt a bit like a manniquin; it was definitely very detached.

I did both of mine at WLS events though so there was not one second of pre-planning involved. That works for me when it comes to this stuff. I definitely want to think about "when I have PS" much more than I actually want to do it.

The way I look at this stuff, especially maintenance, is that it's "the rest of my life." When people say things like "I didn't have this surgery so I could __________" as they declare they are NEVER GOING TO EAT A COOKIE AGAIN when they are months, not years out, I just scratch my head. I mean, okay, maybe they really will never have a cookie ever again and maybe that will work for them.

But I didn't have surgery to be a special flower. I had it to get my life back - to lose weight, sure, but more to have a prayer of actually keeping the weight off this time -- and that means living in the real world and living not for months or even years but for decades. And, for me, the idea that I will never eat a cookie ever again for the next 30-50 years? Well, that's just not going to happen.

So then it becomes about trying to figure out how to make it all work. How to have a cookie once in a while like my thin friends who don't seem to struggle with their weight do without it impacting my weight more than I'm okay with. So, for me, the first year of maintenance wasn't one bit different than losing except instead of trying to eat as little as possible, I was trying to eat as much as I had to in order to stop losing (as I had gotten super thin). But the 2nd and 3rd and 4th year. Yeah, they were and are different. Because now it's all about balancing. How much can I indulge and what indulgences are okay and what lead to horrible outcomes. How careful do I have to be? How much do I have to keep track and how much can I wing it? How much do I have to exercise to maintain my weight? How much to feel good? How much to be healthy? (Which are three different things with 3 different answers.)

You guys aren't at that point yet it seems. It seems like you are still in the "maintenance is just like losing only not necessarily trying to lose" phase. But most people don't stay in that phase forever so I suspect you'll get into the 2nd phase of maintenance soon enough. And, for all I know, there are other phases of maintenance too. I'm only 4.5 years out so who knows... maybe it's all different when you are 8, 9 , 10 years out.