Thoughts on this Analogy

There was a discussion that happy posted over on the main board this morning.  Another member asked about getting to the root of his addiction to cure it.  I posited the following response to that and was curious what the other vets thoughts were on the idea of "curing" addiction through understanding its root.  Heres my reply:

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"I think theres a tendency for us to think that there will be a "Silver Bullet" cure for our compulsions to eat.  I certainly did.  I think that I am coming to realize that understanding the roots of my addiction only really helps me recognize when the addictions are triggering destructive behavior.  Understanding may be the most powerful tool, but its not a cure. 

In my garden, if I kill the root of a tree or a flower, I will eventually kill the tree or flower.  Addiction, though, seems to me more like a vine than a tree- Psychological Kudzu anyone?  It has no single root, no single point of failure that I can correct.  It has a place that it started to grow from, but after 40 years it has so completely entwined itself throughout my psyche and my life that I cannot completely eradicate it.  I can prune it, control it, live with it - but not kill it completely.

Using the garden analogy, If I leave the vine alone it will choke the life out of the tree and crush the building that its climbing. I can trim the vine and save the tree or let it become a beautiful part of the building.  But to do  that I have to recognize that trying to destroy the vine is futile and accept it as part of the landscape."

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Love that - great analogy!!

I quite liked your response when I read it on the main board. I think, too, that so many of us hopefully think that if we can just determine the true root cause of our disordered thinking that surrounds food and eating we would be cured. Sadly, I do not believe that is true. I know why I eat. I know some root causes that go way, way back to childhood that caused me to seek comfort in food. I get that, but it didn't change my behavior. What I had to do was focus on the behavior and the feelings that trigger the behavior.

My feelings of inadequacy in certain areas of my life will always be there. It's how I am wired. I spent years not believing I was worth ________ (fill in the blank). That just doesn't go away. Yes, it lessens and yes, my awareness puts me in far better control of the unconscious emotional aspect of those feelings, but it boils down to how I react to those feelings. That's what I can change.

I'm learning more and more to deal with "feeling" without food. One of my great "ah ha's" has been that I'm far more emotional than I once thought. I just used food to not deal with the emotional side of things so I could be rational and calm and FAT! I speak my mind a lot more now than I ever did before. I find I like that.

So, yes, I think you are spot on. My food issues are part of who I am. As much I as I would like that to be not so, it's my truth. I am choosing, borrowing your analogy, to groom those food issue vines and train them so they compliment who I am and make me stronger and more beautiful and enhance my structure, not destroy it.

I love how you think sometimes!

I quite agree that undestanding why we overeat is not the total answer to stopping overeating. Its like understanding why we get a cold - we still have it. So while its good to learn those triggers and understand what things in our early lives may have led to overeating, its still up to us to use our free will plus the powerful sleeve to make changes. that means its going to take effort. just understanding the how and why is not enough. its a challenge to be met daily. Hope we are all up for it. I for one like this challenge better than the ones presented by weighing 247 lbs.   Diane

I love love love your analogy.  I love that there are people like you who care this much about things that *I* care so much about.  Thank you.

Absolutely LOVE your analogy!! This is the only way to we can deal with this addiction. There is no cure therefore we all have to "prune it, control it, live with it - but not kill it completely" in order to be successful. Well stated Rob!!

Right on!

I truly needed to hear this right now after posting on the previous post about a VERY BAD DAY in spite of good news.

It makes no sense whatsoever.

I so appreciate the words of all of you.

Rob, I think you hit the nail on the proverbial head with this one!  I know I am an addict, and despite all of my hopes and dreams, I know I'll never be cured from that addiction, which is why, on a daily basis, I choose not to eat certain foods.  Knowing about my addiction, and recognizing when it rears its ugly head, is for me, what I can strive for.  Each time I do recognize that my addiction is taunting me, and I am able to resist, helps to cut the vine back, but it will never be truly eradicated.  This is my reality, and I can live with that.

Out of the ballpark, my friend.