Hello and a question...

I think I finally qualify as being in maintenance mode :)  Even after I was sleeved, I never really thought I would make it to goal (and below)! Now that I am here, I find I must be even more vigilant about what I am eating. I went a tad crazy during the holidays and even though I didn't gain weight, I didn't feel very good either. I exercise like crazy, horseback riding and chasing my kids around.

Here is my question.... How long, if ever, does it take to see yourself the way others see you?? When I look in the mirror, I look much the same to me as I did when I had surgery. I KNOW that I don't but my brain refuses to see it. I don't have the time for plastic surgery so that is off the table.... ugh

My doctor told me that studies show that it takes about three years for us to really get used to seeing our new self the way we really are today. 

Well it can take awhile. Make it a point to look at yourself in store windows or mirrors in elevators or the tv camera at the bank line so you can start noticing the changes. have some pictures taken when you are dolled up.  go to a store and try on fancy stuff.  I won't be doing any plastics except maybe a face lift and I still catch myself thinking of myself as fat once in awhile but overall, its a gradual thing. I think its healthy to actively try to start visualizing yourself as you really are because it will help you maintain.  Congrats on reaching maintenance. check in here often.

diane

I am going through periods where I know the way I look, but most of the time I still see myself the old way.  

 

I agree with Elena, The more I look in mirrors the more real it becomes.

I have been having the same issue - don't see myself as "skinny" just see the same old "fat Tammy" when I look in the mirror most of the time.  I have been getting a little better though.  I went shopping recently and picked up a few dresses that were outside my comfort zone - a little shorter (just above the knee) and fitted.  Never would have even thought about that before VSG - too many fat rolls.  The dresses actually looked really good and everyone at worked loved them and so did my husband.

I think it just takes a while for us to adjust the the "new" person looking back at us in the mirror. I also do look at my reflection when walking past windows as others have suggested and I really thinks it helps in putting things in perspective.  I'm beginning to like what I see looking back at me.

I'm finding that the transition in my head is in process. I am thinking of and seeing myself as I am now, more often than at the beginning. I don't size up seats and booths as often to decide whether or not I'll fit - I just sit down without thinking. Also, when I look at clothes, I am now eyeballing them better and being more accurate on what will fit. I thought I'd gotten rid of just about all of my fat clothes, but yesterday took out a pair of undies and immediately knew they were way too big, without trying to put them on first. It's little things like this that make me realize I am making the internal changes. But there are still those moments when I am surprised. Like others have said, I look in the mirror much more often, and that seems to help.

At two years out from surgery and one year plus a few months at my ideal weight I struggle with the body issue too.

It has been a slow transition for me as well.

I love the advice of looking at our reflections whenever possible.  It use to be that I would avoid my reflection so even actively looking is a step in the correct direction.  

I use to put people (mainly my kids) in front of me, to hide my body, whenever a picture was being taken.  I make a point now of showing the body to the camera from top to bottom.  It's a good thing too because my boys are growing taller then me now.    

On the rare occasion that a store clerk or a waiter is rude to me I think..."he/she is being rude to me because he/she thinks I'm fat and disgusting."  I still start that dialogue in my head... but within an instant  I remember that I am wearing  a size 4 and think..."Oh, they must be having a bad day."  and usually I find some compassion for them.  So I am a better person, and less angry,  when I remember that I have worked this tool.  But it is a slow transition and being patient with myself has been helpful.

I still struggle with bringing clothes into the fitting room at clothing stores.  I just can't believe that the size 4's are really going to fit.  They look so small on the hanger.  I bought my first pair of 2's at Banana Republic this past week for a new job that I start on Thursday.  They are a grey pair of wool, lined pants.  I love them

Leslie, you will get there.  So great that you are asking the question.  

K 

 

 

 

 

 

I still don't think I see myself the way others do, but oddly enough I found yoga helped me enormously with the transition.  I'd be doing a spinal twist and thinking ... oh, that's what my thighs look like now.  Or I'd be sighting down my arm in warrior pose and think, oh... those are my arms.  Our yoga room is done in a room where the wall we face is one big mirror, which helps with checking your form, but also helped a lot for me in seeing myself look strong, and healthy, and to begin to really focus on the new me. 

I also took monthly progress photos, and sometimes I take the time to go back and look at how far I've come.  It really helps on those days when I need a bit of encouragement.

Thanks for all the replies!! This certainly wasn't a side effect I thought I'd ever deal with. No complaints though, it is well worth it. What a great group you guys are! I have a horse show Saturday. Perhaps I will actually allow pictures of me to be taken and share them (gasp)!!