Weight gain = Shame and Fear

Slipping back into old thinking is so easy for me.

I left for plastics at the end of September at 143.5. I gained 16 pounds in a week. My weight came back down to 147 several weeks later. I've been waiting for the rest to come off. Down to 146 now but not budging it. I'm eating well so I've been confused until I really took a look at what's happening.

Unemployed since Dec 2011, I had the opportunity to hike 30-40 miles a week. I felt terrific. I was honestly eating 100-200 calories a day more than without all the hiking.

Fast forward to plastics. No exercise. Eating additional protein (calories) for healing. Never lowered my exercising calories. Additionally, I got a job 4 weeks ago and I'm sitting at a desk again. While I walk to work, I haven't gotten back into an exercise routine.

I'm leaving on a business trip tomorrow until Wednesday night. I have fear in my head. Trips have always been my toughest post op challenge to staying on track. No fridge in the hotel. I know that the provided breakfast is all sugar and the light lunch is pizza and wings. Sunday night is a fancy company party. Tuesday night another party and I begged for salmon on the menu. I'll be locked into three days of all day meetings with people who love to eat. I'm packing protein bars and asked the food person to please provide hard boiled eggs for breakfast. I'm also taking buffalo jerky. The end of the month is 11 days away from home but I will have a kitchen at a friends home.

I feel like this is my biggest post op challenge to date. I'm determined to get these few pounds off and not fall "victim" to holidays, parties and travel. What's interesting is how terrified I feel about a few pounds. My pants fit the same but wow it's frightening. My calories average 1000-1100 but I know I have to be under 1000 tp lose weight!

Recommendations always welcome!

Just a thought, but it might be worth a call to the hotel to find out if they can provide a fridge.  So many people these days travel with medications that need refrigeration, and often hotels have small dorm fridges they can put in your room for a minor fee.  It's worth a shot!

Business travel can be so hard.  I went well prepared supplies-wise on my last trip, but wasn't prepared for what it would feel like to sit at a table being served food that wasn't want I intended to eat, bu****ching everyone else eat it!  There were options for me on my plate, but it was so much harder to pass up everything else when it was on my plate, and everyone at the table was eating it.  I didn't do so well....

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Thanks for this great response. I will be gone from the hotel from 7am until after dinner, without a car so the fridge isn't a lot of help. I generally get one for medical purposes. Truth is that I can generally make omething edible out I choices, and you're right, the choices are up to me. Going lean for a few days won't hurt me!

Hi Lee,

Don't know what to say, except that I know you know what needs to be done. I can also assuredly say, "You can do this!" You have this. You know you have this. You are just letting some old tapes play and allowing yourself to doubt your commitment to your new lifestyle. I hear those voices fairly regularly, too. Just tell them to go to hell!

I was also going to say that you need to come to the meeting this Wednesday night, but I guess you'll still be out of town. I miss seeing you. It's been months!

Remember, you need to come first. Schedule some walks, if that's how you need to do it. Can you walk the lake at lunch? Not sure how close you are, but..... I know you will figure this all out.

Hugs!

 

Hi! Thanks for the hug Surgiversary guy.

I know I've got this but it's taking a lot more effort this month. Thanks for the reminder. The plastics weight scared me but I was sure I'd shed each of the 16 once I got home. I was sure it was all still surgery swelling except that 2-3 are hanging on. I just walked the lake with a surgery pal to talk about it.

I've been walking at lunchtime but it's not like getting in 5-6 miles at a stretch. I wish I could come to the meeting Wednesday! I will still be in San Diego.

Lee, about surgery ... it can take awhile for all the water retention to work its way out. I had knee surgery 16 months ago and I still have some swelling. Your tissue needs water, oxygen, blood flow and space to heal and it takes time, sometimes a lot of time. Also, surgery is stressful, which also takes time to work out.

Thanks. It's one thing to know it could be the swelling, yet another to be afraid that it's no longer surgery weight. I just have to mindful of eating an moving.

Can't someone just fix me?

When I'm traveling or going to a party (being around people is a major stress eating trigger for me), I make sure I have a hot drink in my hand so I feel slightly distracted and comforted. I'll go to Starbucks on my way or anywhere else I can tank up on a low calorie hot comfy cuppa something and carry it around like it's my baba. Finding ways to deal with my social anxiety has been one of the biggest challenges for me now that I'm not wearing a fat suit. If I have something in my hands to sip, it helps me a lot.

I read this jsst before going to a party tonight. I thought o this and walked around nursing a couple ounces of wine for a long time. A few sips helped me walk up to people and engage in conversation. I find it stressful to be in a room of 100 people nd only know the hostess. I have to do it again tomorrow night with a different group. I will remember my hot baba for he meetings ths week. Great advice! Thanks.

If anyone can do this, you can ! You are one of the most determined people I have ever met. You have all the tools you need, a good plan, and a great body to remind you to make the right choice :)