Reality Check: Maintenance Weight

This might get long and rambling. I am meeting with my doctor in 2 weeks, but I wanted some "reality check" from you folks. Or maybe just to talk it out. I dunno.

I'm 17 months out. I started at 375 pounds. I'm 177 today. My surgeon's goal was 250, he asked what mine was and I threw out 175, which seemed IMPOSSIBLE at the time (ha!). So that's been my goal for 198 pounds. I'm now 2 pounds away from that. I'm 5'6" and am in a size 14/16 pants and L shirt. Hell, I can't remember the last time I was "overweight" and not "obese" frankly.

According to the various BMI and other things, my "ideal" weight is 118-155. Which, I basically ignore, to be honest.

Lately, I've been getting comments that I'm "wasting away" and "shouldn't lose any more weight". I think it's more because they are just used to seeing me so large that I now look skinny - to them. I, of course, have days where I still think I look 375 and others where I think I'm a super model.

I'm debating on visiting a plastic surgeon to see how much of this is me and how much is skin, but the reality is that there still appears to be a lot of fat in my poor saggy stomach, in particular. From what I can tell, plastics will truly only get rid of about 10 pounds of skin, at most - they can lipo, of course.

I dunno. I think I want to revise my goal down to 165 and see what that does, but part of me says "just go for 150" but I'm just not sure that's a realistic goal for maintenance with someone that started so large (and I was obese for 30 years - when I say I have skin, you guys have NO idea how bad it is LOL).

Sigh... I dunno. What's realistic? Again, I'll talk to my surgeon in two weeks. Was just wanting to talk it out with "friends" that might get it.

First of all, huge congratulations on how well you've done so far!  Will you feel deflated if you chose to go to 150 and end up at 175 for example?  Some people handle goals well and thrive on them, others just feel like failures if they don't quite make it, so part of this depends on your personality type.  I find this similar to people who agonize over a half pound either way, when really once a week or month weighing (or at  least recording) once a week or month makes sense due to normal fluctuations.

I'm not sure that what I said makes sense to you completely, but in any event, my personal standpoint would be to say go for the 150!  What's that saying shoot for the stars and maybe you'll get the moon!  I wished that I had been a little more driven and gone less than my goal weight so that the darn bounce back didn't have me at 15 over my goal now at 3 years out.  I'm really not complaining, but its easier to lose while you are on a roll then once you are settled in at maintenance.  I believe that plastics are at there best if you get down to your lowest point as well.  By the way, forget about those people calling you too thin, they are not use to seeing you like this and going for a healthy weight is best for you, which is probably right around 150.

All the best in your journey!

That's just it. I don't know. This whole thing has been one big discovery, right? The scale swings wildly as it is and I would have thought it would freak me bout, but I know the pattern now so I just take it in stride (I literally lose 1-6 pounds, stall, gain 2-4, stall, lose those 2-4, lose 1-6, stall, etc etc LOL, it's kind of nutty but hey, whatever).

Anyway... lots to think about (and yes, I weigh daily, but it's more for me - a reminder of why I'm doing this. Seeing 1-something on the scale instead of "error" because you're too heavy for it... well, that's a reminder for me to not go back. The daily fluctuations don't mean much to me in the grand scheme.

I guess I just gotta figure it out. And yeah, I think while I'm going, I need to keep going. The fact that I'm losing this far out and still losing pretty well is pretty amazing in and of itself. Heck, I lost six pounds in month 17 - and that was with starting new meds and facing down some demons in therapy.

Thanks for your "take". Like I said, I'm just not sure where I want to to go or need to go. I *know* I want to go lower. Saying you "lost 200 pounds" sounds amazing. I dunno. Saying I "lost 225" just seems ridiculous. Of course, I thought I'd never get below 275, so there ya go.

You are SUCH a rock star!

My 2 cents: If you feel like the way you eat and the amounts you are eating now  are reasonable and maintainable, I'd say keep doing what you're doing until your weight loss comes to a halt on its own and you enter into maintenance naturally, and then maintenance won't be a difficult transition. If, however, you feel like you are really having to deny yourself hugely now to get the weight off, then the decision is a little more difficult because, you're right, you want to set a reasonable goal for maintenance. In general, I'm a fan for going as low as you can (with a reasonable diet) while it's easy. Later, it's a lot harder to take weight off. And why not see a plastic surgeon now? I don't think it's too early at all to start those conversations and get a sense of what they are going to do, etc.

Lizanne

Thanks. Honestly, I'm still never really hungry. I eat at set times and try to hit my goal #s by adding snacks when I have to. I assume at some point, I'll be hungry again. LOL. I think I was hungry maybe twice, but I hadn't eaten all day, so yeah. I don't really deny myself now. I eat out, I do a 1200 calorie day 2-3 times per month when I feel myself going crazy. LOL.

Yeah. I need to just "do it" with the plastic surgeon. I guess I'm just nervous about it too. The whole thought of another surgery overwhelms me. I'd never had surgery before my VSG and in April I had neck fusion surgery (which left me pretty much out of commission for 3+ months because I was so doped up).

Thanks for rambling with me! xoxo I think I'll just see what happens.

You are so awesome! I hadn't realized you were quite that close to 200 lbs lost.

My suggestion would be to set incremental goals...revise to 165 and evaluate when you get there. No reason you can't go for 165, then go for 150 if you decide you want to. I'd bet a BMI in the normal range would be very achievable for you.

I do have an idea how bad the skin is, being down 180 and 50 years old, but I carried my weight in my extremities: I was obese my entire life. I look like a Shar-Pei in the arms and legs instead of having the tummy skin, but seriously I have folds of skin on both legs and arms. Like you, though, I doubt having it removed would take away more than 10 lbs.

It is hard to judge how your body is doing when your mind is including all that skin and the fat attached to it.

Thanks. Yeah, the 200 kind of snuck up on me too. I'm leaning towards just revising in increments. I've not been this small since AT LEAST middle school so I really don't know what I'm doing or what I want. I DO know I'm not done yet... LOL

Yeah, the skin. Oy. The skin. No clue how I'm going to pay for it, but at the very least the stomach has to be fixed, there's no real way around it.

Thanks for letting me ramble. I'm thinking I could get to 150 too, but it will take a pretty long while. I've come this far, I guess I may as well see how far I can go with it.

You know me, I will always say, "Go for it".  That's just my nature.  You are losing so well, what's the harm in taking it all the way?  I say go for 150 and start talking to plastic surgeons now.  You are only 27 pounds away from that goal, what's 27 pounds after losing almost 200?  Remember that your fat will redistribute during the first year of maintenance and that if you don't like the way you look you can always gain a bit back.  If losing is not super hard now, I say go for it.  You are a superstar. 

LOL... I love you. Because I think "I've lost 200, do I really need to freaking lose another 27?" LOL, but you're right. I have a pattern and am on a roll so I may as well see where I can take it. I know I'm not 100% happy now. I feel stuck between here and there, ya know?

The hard part for me is not becoming complacent. There are days I'm just so DONE with thinking about it. I guess you never really are done though so I may as well get over myself.

Thanks. I'll figure it out, but I'm letting that ticker say "goal weight reached" for at least a few hours when these last 2 drop off. I've waited 200 freaking pounds and 17 months to see that.

... and then I start again. LOL But yeah, I'm also worried about bounce back so, I should just keep going and see where it goes.

I'm with thinlizzy on this one.  Find the lifestyle (diet and exercise) that you can live with long term, and see where it takes you.  You can call goal whenever you're comfortable.

Plastics - getting a consult won't hurt anything.  The surgeons are use to folks coming in for estimates, and, though I can't say it's the most fun I've had naked, they're very professional and objective.