I am discouraged

I love that prayer!   I will add it to my daily affirmations.  :)

On the internet everybody gets an opinion, but just because they write it in a post doesn't mean it gets equal weight.  

If people tell success stories it draws readers more than "advice."  Many people want models of success, and the plan one followed to achieve that success.  What somebody "thinks" is one thing, what somebody "did" along with the results are another.  Successful people need to realize that their posts are, in general, treated differently than mere opinions.  That's not always easy to see from the discussion.  But it is what happens.

It only takes one light to illuminate the darkness...

Tom

Tom, as usual you thoughtful response adds a great deal to my own thinking.  A while ego there were more VETS on the regular VSG forum and because of this, there were more posts that I learned from, agreed with and in general could use as mirrors of my own experience.  There are still wonderful and dedicated people on the main site and many newbies do have a great attitude. Unfortunately, many of the things that we learned early out from each other and our doctors and practiced to reach our goals are seen as extreme.  The points of view that preach "moderation" are the norm.  I don't really believe in "moderation" during the losing phase as a successful plan for most people, but I am tired of fighting it.  Your main point however, does have me thinking...

I agree on approach.  This is a do or die situation for many of us.  Hard to see how moderation in a life-or-death battle makes sense.  Not sure if they teach 'moderation' in the Marine Corps.  Moderation is the preached norm in society. We see where that has gotten us.  Nutritionists preach it, doctors preach it, and obesity rates skyrocket.  People, by now, should be able to put 2+2 together, but they can't seem to connect the dots because they want to believe they don't have to change.  One of my first posts was about "Burning the boats."

A lot of newbies don't post a lot.  I waited, read, absorbed for the most part.  I didn't have a lot to add until I built up some experience.  I think there are a fair number of those.  Vets have influence - but a lot of the feedback you and they get is "pushback." The 'respectful' newbies read and learn.  We use the "search" box. :) We see the number of people posting that they're back after gaining weight, stuck in stalls for months, etc.  We see the patterns.  The vets have influence beyond the chatter that gets generated.

It's OK to take a break, if people want your wisdom it's already out there, searchable for those looking for it.  Don't burn out... 

Tom

 

HA! Just ran across this...

Love that!

I've been completely off the boards this entire week.. and prior- only very occasionally popping in anymore to the main board.

I may just be feeling particularly *****y/burnt out recently, mostly due to a very unfair crappy health crisis of a close friend.. which will likely sideline me more and more as time moves forward and things progress to their end..  but I keep thinking Darwin-ish thoughts. If folks want to hop on a table and be operated on but are unwilling to put the time in to educate themselves and really get to the bottom of the issue, and work it.. well, more power to them. The worst that will happen to 99.99% is regain. Sometimes life throws a curve ball like no other and you realize that there are worse things, and you can't save them all.

Sorry for the cryptic and downer feelings.. While I was away my best friend of almost 20yrs got her pathology report.. She was worse off than they thought initially. Clear cell carcinoma, stage 4 ovarian. She had WLS a couple years ago.. we had planned on being two old skinny *****es together. Things change in a blink. I guess what I'm saying is be selfish.. do you, and don't waste any time and energy worrying over strangers online unless you are getting something useful and fulfilling out of it.

Talk about a wake-up post.  I am so sorry to hear about your friend.  That is just earth shattering and gut wrenching.  It is true, I do sometimes get so caught up in trying to "save" someone, I forget to look at the big picture.  My heart hurts for you and your friend.  I am so deeply sorry you are going through this.  At least she has you to help her through this and if you ever want to talk, PM me and I will give you my phone number.  When I was a young girl, I had a very unique experience, she might want to know about it.  Maybe.  You would have to hear it first and see if this could be of use to her or not. Just letting you know that I am here if you need me.

Thank you for your kindness, it really means a lot, and sorry to hijack your post too, not what my intentions were, but your topic made me realize what I should put energy behind, and what I shouldn't.

I knew her news wasn't going to be good, but this did come as a serious blow. It's incredible the emotions that you go through when someone you love is given a prognosis like this.. she's trying to stay positive, and will hopefully qualify for a clinical trial, but the rare type she has (less than 5% in the US) and the typical lack of response to chemo of this particular kind leaves some pretty depressing statistics.. and she's only 41. The last few weeks of this has really made me rethink what's important, and what's just minor crap to just let roll. I will be seeing her soon and will see where her head is at..

I'm so so sorry about your friends pathology report. You must be devastated. I about cried when you said that you planned to be skinny *****es together. We really are so powerless over the curve balls that life throws us. She is very lucky to have a friend that loves her so deeply.