Personal survey - to regain a little or not?

When I want to add a few calories if I'm working out a lot or dropping too low in weight I add nuts. Almonds, walnuts, almond butter or peanut butter. They aren't junk food, don't start a lot of craving for me, but are high in calories. Then you can add more or less. I also like avocado, also high in calories but healthy. I also add more healthy fats like olive or coconut oil, and higher fat yogurt which tastes really good too.

Mom, you know that I am one of those who loves being skinny, but even I would freak if I dropped below 130 and I have a small frame.  However, I also don't expect to stay this weight until death, or even over the next five or ten years, so I am enjoying my bonyness as long as it lasts, before less activity and decreased metabolism catch up to me.

That said, I truly believe that most of us had surgery to feel better in all ways.  If being a little heavier makes you feel and look better, I say do it.  We deserve to feel beautiful and comfortable in our skins. You have proven that you can lose weight and I think if you gain more than you plan, you can take it off again.

Mom,

I can only tell you what i would do because i doubt my lying yues are ever going to tell me I'm too thin and i'm not sure i'd believe them if they tried.  See the dilemma. 

I think the anxiety of willfully gaining would be my undoing.  I know that 30 years of yo-yo dieting would kick in and i don't want to think about that.  I also believe that even when my weight was resistant before to my gaining,(this is not my first, 'completely lost all my weight' rodeo) my trusty metabolism at some point would crap out on me and i'd start gaining and gaining.

I could handle adding an avocado here and there, even nuts make me crazy because they taste like more and if i had the justification of trying to gain, i'd be on that slippery slope again. 

I have never willfully tried to gain so it's a whole new world but if looking in the mirror is bumming you out then i say, take it low and slow, because you don't have to gain it now, you could take 3-6 months and see what works for you. 100 calories 3 days a week, see where you end up, but make sure your head lets you do it.

I'm not a believer in the BMI thing. My BMI is 27.6 I'm 5'11". My original goal was 220. At 220 my body didn't stop. I settled around 205. After LBL I settled around 195.

According to BMI I should loose another 20 pounds to hit the high end of a normal BMI range.

I think I look too thin and I get many comments (including my wife) that I'm too thin. I would like to put on another 10 pounds. But I have this mental hangup about being under 200 pounds.

You have to do what makes you happy. I personally think you should regain the weight. If you don't like it. You can try to loose it again. It may take some time to loose the additional weight. But if you believe you may like the way you look with the extra weight. I say go for it. Nothing wrong with a little trial and error to find your happy place.

Mom, proceed with caution!! Seriously!!

I was in the same boat over a year ago. I really hated the way I looked. Way too boney. That was almost my downfall. I did not gain weight the right way. It was an all out carbfest......for months.

Now that I realize what I was doing and have reigned myself back in, I've lost 10 lbs. I am now below my low weight prior to the regain. Guess what? I'm OK with how I look now. My bones do not protude like they did a year ago and my face is not as skeletal.

Did my remaining fat redistribute? I dont know, maybe but I honestly like where I'm at now. I panicked and didnt hang around to see what happened. So my advice is give it a little time and see what happens but if you decide to gain a few lbs please do it the smart way!!

Do what you think is right for you - cuz that's who has to live in and dress that body every day.  You are so smart and really know what you are doing here - trust that, trust yourself!  I know that when you push that scale up, you'll do it the RIGHT way, cuz you know the rules and you follow them.  If you feel it goes too far up, take a hike...LOL!  Good luck in your decision and the neverending mind trip that revolves around that stupid number on the scale...(((Hugs!)))

Deb

One thought is to try gaining more muscle.  If you can work with a trainer and tell them the areas you're concerned about, they can help you build up some muscle in the areas that you're worried about.  This way you can have some extra bulk without having to add fat.  It is amazing how much nicer extra skin looks draped over good muscle tone rather than just hanging from your frame.  Also, the weight really does redistribute as time goes on.  Good luck! 

Well my answer hasn't changed from the last time you asked... if you deliberate set out to gain weight at less than 2-3 years out, you will regret it because at 4-5 years out you will be 10 pounds over whatever weight you gain yourself up to.

Not to mention, this focus we all seem to have on that number on the scale is misplaced. You don't look too thin because you need to gain "weight" but because you need to gain *muscle*. And, if you set out to gain muscle, you will be very happy with the results... no matter what the scale finally says.

But I can see you are going to do what you want. 

First, thank you so much for giving me your opinion. Even if I do decide not to follow your advice, I still sincerely appreciate it!

My face doesn't need to gain muscle. Honest. And as for the rest of my body, there's no way I can gain muscle at this weight - the muscle doesn't magically come out of air and my body fat percentage is pretty low (it was measured by BodPod at 18.6 when I was 8.5 lbs heavier).

I'm 36 pounds below goal weight. If I gain 5 or 6 now, then gain another 10 later I'll still be 20 lbs below goal weight and comfortably in the normal BMI range. Given that I strongly dislike how I look, I can live with that.

Well the face generally takes care of itself... it takes about a year but the fat will redistribute on that one once you stop losing.

"And as for the rest of my body, there's no way I can gain muscle at this weight "

But see this is part of my point... we are all so focused on *weight* and a number on the scale. It's not about that.  If you gain muscle, you will probably gain weight. Or you might not. It just depends. But either way you will be heathy and look great. And you'll retain your good eating habits.

But if you focus on the number on the scale and just try to gain "weight" most likely you'll gain fat and also set yourself up for not being able to cut back when the inevitable bounce back happens and letting some bad habits creep in as you allow yourself more endulgences.

When trying to gain muscle, what you do is different than when you try to gain weight so I think it's important to make that distinction and focus on body composition and health and not the scale.

But then again I'm on a tear these days trying to get people to stop obsessing over the scale. It's just not accurate to measure what's really going on. I know my weight hasn't changed much since I bonked my head and had to stop working out, but I've gone up and down in body fat during that time. If I only focus on the number, I can say with all honesty "I haven't gained all year". But I'm fatter than I was so it's misleading.

Though I enjoy saying it to people like Diana Cox who try to convince us we're idiots for getting a VSG and not a DS. :evil grin: