I'm freaking out and hanging in...

OK guys, I am 7 pounds from "goal" and feeling solidly in the 160s.  This is kind of scary for me for many reasons, including distrusting my ability to stay in this range.  This is the smallest I have ever been as an adult.  I keep thinking how *267* was exciting for me at one time.

I have been wearing a lot of skirts and summer pants to work and today I put on a pair of my size 12 dress slacks and they were baggy in the butt!  I kind of freaked out.  I wrote down my food for the day and then decided I better go tell my peeps how freaky this is, because sometimes baggy pants make me feel like *eating* to "make the madness stop!"

So today, I'm just going to be very gentle and tell myself it's okay to take up a little less space in the world, and I'm am more mature than I used to be and can handle being a hot mess!!

Today, I can totally see how 160 is possible.  Maybe less.  Argh!!!

 It can be scary getting close to a goal weight that you have never been at before, but it can also be exciting. Just keep on doing what you have been doing and the weight will stay off. As far as the baggy pants, you may just have to go down to a size 10 :), so that you won't be tempted to fill in the size 12's.

You don't have to be a "hot mess." Just smile in wonderment at what you have achieved and focus on that, and not the anxiety.





gail

Thank you!

Go put those baggy pants away!
Get some nice fitted ones, and a nice fitted shirt to match and enjoy it. 

So far for me at least- what was said above holds true.. keep doing what you are doing and the weight will stay off (or possibly still slowly creep downwards.) Very different from our past experiences isn't it?? 

Absolutely nothing about this experience has been the same as anything that's happened before!!

Go get you some new clothes!

 

Seriously, Maintenance so far has been messing with my head more than weight loss ever did.  I realized  last week that I don't trust myself.  I don't trust myself to maintain, to tell the difference between real and head hunger, to be able to really manage my weight now.  I did pretty dang well with the tools I needed to lose the weight.  I now have to learn the tools to maintain the weight.

Its easy to be task focused - and I realize thats what I was doing in weight loss.  I managed it like I would manage a project at work.  Now that its time for the long haul - production support instead of implementation - I have to adjust my mindset again.  

I try to remind myself every time I feel insecure that I can do this.  The tools I learned during WL will serve me here.  I just can't be complacent in applying them.  I can't always assume something is head hunger when it may be physical.  I have to continue to work hard on calming cravings - and they do come more often now that I am introducing more foods.

At 190, I never thought I'd be maintaining closer to the low 180s.  I am not sure where I will end up after plastics next month.  I am just going to make sure I am healthy and feeling good.  I lost weight to have my life back, I am not going to live my life for managing my weight.  I am trying to learn to not obsess over it.  That will take time.

Maintenance is all about learning to trust yourself.  It is by far, the hardest yet most important piece of this for me.   In truth, I never really believed that it was possible to trust myself around this issue.  There were too many times in my life when I thought I had this figured out and the weight came back on, for me to feel totally relaxed, however, I have now learned that this time is really different.  It took a long time, it meant I had to allow myself to gain a few pounds and then lose them again, without issues, slowly, oh so slowly, I began to realize that I really am running this thing and the control is fully in my hands.  That's when I finally felt free and learned to relax around my mindful eating.  It requires  a new mind set and new tools, but it's the promised land when you get here.

I live by your words and your advice. But, boy, it's hard though not to freak on occasion. Nice thing is with my sleeve it's much easier to stay "clean" than it was before!

"Freaking" is OK, it too is part of the process.  If you never freaked out now, how would you know that you arrived in the land of "acceptance"?  It is all good, eventually, the freaking out will diminish and you will feel in control at all times.  Think of this as learning to surf.  At first you feel discombobulated and unbalanced as the waves come at you and push you around.  Eventually, with practice, you find your balance and you learn to trust yourself to just ride the waves.  You find your happy place and you learn that the waves can do their thing, and you will still be just fine, you will always be able to find your "pocket".  It just takes time, and many freak out sessions, getting out of control and finding your center again and again and again. Then, one day you will wake up a few pounds up, and it will not disturb you at all, you will know without a doubt, that that this too shall pass and you will calmly bring your food intake down a few hundred calories and watch the center reemerge again.  You will smile and remember this post. 

It's a life-long thing, that's for sure.  Going to go shopping now!