Conflicted about a change

So sorry about your injury!  No fun and no fair!  

You make a good point about skin looking better with a few extra pounds.  The thinner/leaner I get, the more the saggy skin shows.  

Thanks for helping me keep it in perspective!

I am very new to maintenance. I have similar issues, concerns, fears, etc.... My goal weight is 11 pounds above a "normal" BMI. However, when I reached my goal weight I was at 18.5% body fat. So, I know logically I'm not fat. It took a lot for me to accept my goal weight because I raised it up from my original goal and I'm still "medically" overweight. That bugs the crap out of me.

I work out pretty intensely, get in a lot of protein (usually between 100 & 120 grams per day), still keep the carbs down and have been upping my calories for the last three weeks. It looks like I'm settling in at 2 pounds above my "goal weight" but still within my goal range. It's tough for me because I wanted my goal range to be 168 to 173, but I'm thinking it may have to be 170 to 175. Not a big deal, those two pounds logically, but.....

It's killing me. So everyday I have to tell myself that my weight is okay. I wear size small and medium shirts and can wear slim fit shirts. My waist size in jeans is 30 or 31 and dress slacks 31 or 32. I am thin. I have to get a grip on that. I am finding that hard, but I am working on it.

I think your feelings are really normal. I've gained about a pound in the last 3 weeks, but have lost another inch from my chest and waist. So I know I'm thinner, but still..... I am wanting the scale to move DOWN not UP! I have a feeling we ALL freak when the scale moves up. It's built in for us.

I think you're in some very good company

I've followed your journey, but I didn't realize some of these details!!  Glad to know I'm not alone.  Seriously, it helps!  You look fantastic, too, so that helps me stay more rational about how I probably look too (and just can't see it fully yet).

I'm one of those people who carried my weight very well. When I was 360 pounds I didn't look it. I looked like I was about 300.

Now that I'm 195 pounds. People say that I look like I'm 150.

My Doctor set my goal weight at 220. The BMI charts say I should be between 170 and 180.

I struggled with this for a very long time. I had to realize why I did this in the first place it wasn't to hit a number on a chart. My goals were to live longer, be more active with my children.

I feel that I have accomplished my goals and even though I never and most likely will never hit that 100% EWL stat, I'm content with this.

So even though I have a 27.3 BMI and Bod Pod said I have 26.4% Body fat (for a man moderately lean is 12 - 20 %). I'm OK with this. When I got into the upper 180's I didn't like how I looked.

I still have my hangups on the scale. I'm on the borderline of the 200's. It's a mental thing with me that I want to stay in onderland.

I just finished my final round of plastic surgery. Finally cleared to exercise. I feel that I'm a weakling and I want to build muscle and strength. I realize that this may push me into the lower 200's but I think it's a good trade off to boost my strength which will make me healthier.

The scale is just a number and you have to figure out what your real goals are and you're a success if you achieve those. From where I sit, I believe you are successful.

I've seen your pics from PS and you don't look like you have that high of a BMI or body fat!  You must carry the weight well... I think I'm in the same boat.  People who comment about my weight loss and appearance always think I'm a lot lighter than I am.  

Thanks for providing your perspective!  It helps!!!!

Rational, no- normal, yes!

It's going to take a lot of time to get rid of that weird number fixation we all have programmed into our heads during the losing stage. You HAVE lost and maintained your excess weight.. your excess was fat, any muscle you add is bonus! BMI isn't any great shakes for many of us either..

I just had to get rid of that ticker range I had going, since I was outside of it for so long now it was triggering some negative thoughts.. Something I never let bug me during my active losing stage was now really getting under my skin.. so I found a graph, and made a nice long-range one, so I can see a pattern better.. still scale weight, but I still feel the need to check in every day on it. I know it's just a number, but as long as I also know what that number consists of, I'm doing better than I was before.

I knew maintenance would be hard, but I guess I thought the eating and physical part would be hard.  NOPE!  It's the mental part!  Funny how that works.  Thanks for responding... some good sounds advice and sharing of your experience!

 I will let you in on a little secret on the ideal weight/ range charts.

They are all ****** up and everyone in the medical industry knows it but no one comes up with new ones.

The charts are based on a 1930's or 1940s standard.  They are only accurate for 5'9 man wearing 2 inch heels.

Yes, you heard that right.

The further you get from that standard, the less accurate they are.

The more modern determination of a healthy weight is the body composition.  UNfortunately no one uses that for clinical diagnosis or applying "Labels".

If I were you, I would not worry about that dang scale or 5 lbs.  IF you are at a healthy body composition, if you feel great, and you are just as happy at 155 as at 150 - you are where you need to be.  You have your head in the right place, you are examining your motives, your are not slipping into unhealthy areas with food.  You are making a rational decision.

You are also completely normal.  I posted a few weeks back that I realized I was scared of my weight.  Any pound gained was freaking me out.  I was feeling like I failed because after hitting goal of 190 I jumped to 193.  That still plagues me a little when I weigh every morning, I should see that scale go down - right?  Do you remember who was one of the people who helped me through that - YOU!  What would you tell me if I wrote this post?  Physician - HEAl THYSELF LOL.

Seriously, 100% EWL is just a number.  Day to day scale readings are just numbers.  Its trends we should be on the lookout for.  Is the scale trending up and up, staying flat?  And is there a rational reason for that ?  You've already answered all of those.

Let go of the fear - just like the emotions that cause us to abuse food it comes from a dark place and and can do great harm if allopwed to run unchecked.

150 or 155 you are a rock star!

I can be so rational and logical and supportive of others... sometimes I fail at those things for ME.  Part of my screwed up mental state regarding my weight.  LOL  I do mean that mostly tongue-in-cheek.

You are right that I'm trying to get my head in the right place with the right motives around food.  It's a balancing act and some days I'm a teeter totter and other days I'm a gold medal gymnist.  :)

hey its totally cool to change your goal. the scale should be your tool and you are not a slave to it. a million things  can determine proper weight and the least effective thing to use is some dumb outdated weight chart. Ifyou are a size 6 and feel toned and lean, you are at the right weight. the end. and most barriatric doctors will tell you that too.

would you consider yourself a failure if you could not grow taller? of course not. if you feel good and are exercising well you are doing better than many and sounds like you have a good amount of muscle weight. so don't feel bad about changing your goal. its a number that is to help you, not rule you, so it can be changed. and it may need to get changed again sometime. you are doing great.     diane