Self Sabotaging

You are absolutely right.

Absolutely.

Thank you.

 I've been facing this too.  As I got near goal I found myself bargaining with myself.  I would tell myslef that I deserved something special.  It was really hard.

I would think of every pound lost as a victory and every pound gained would just destroy me.

I have a pretty good suite of merntal tools that helped me to get to goal.  I became aware that I really needed to strengthen those tools to assure long term success for maintenance.  The weight loss was going to be the easy part - even though it didn't seem like it at the time.

For me, I decided to help make those tools stronger by going to private therapy.  I got lots of awesome advice and tools on here, but I really needed to address those underlying issues in more detail to avoide sabotaging myself in the long run.

Heres the thing I see in your post.  You are falling into "all or nothing" thinking.  Those little demons in your mind are whispering these soul crushing things in your mind.  When you have thoughts like ' you don't deserve to get to goal and like every other time you will fail at this too. ', remind yourself of why this time is different.  Thats what worked for me.  I would remind myslef that I had education, and self-awareness, andthe sleeve on my side.  I would channel the voices of people I trusted telling me what was different.  I would hear my doctro explaining to me that stalls happen.  I would hear my NUT admonishing "NO EMPTY CALORIES", or my support group leader telling her stories.

When I felt alone, I would come on here and reald and realize that I wans't alone.  There is a world of people going through what I am.  They were here to help me.

You CAN do this.  You know what you need to do diet wise.   Focus yourself inward and start to get a hold on what really motivates you.  Then you can develop tools to deal with those issues.  We're all here to help you.