VSG Maintenance Group
Maybe I didn't wait long enough?
OK, here's what I try to do. I try to remember that in many ways, I was just like most of these people we complain about, but more like when I was in my early 20s and hadn't gone to OA yet. I can't speak for people that don't identify as compulsive overeaters, but here's something from the Big Book of AA which I try to remember when I talk to people. I've left the alcohol references in, but you can substitute. I wanted to honor the original.
Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been charaterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his liquor drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
See, I think all of us compulsive overeater types have the hardest time giving up the illusion that we can somehow, someday control and enjoy our overeating. It is very, very scary to realize that getting better means giving up the food (and by that, I mean using food to solve problems it wasn't designed to, and eating in the same ways that got and kept us fat), and giving up some behaviors around food *forever.*
Plus, I think some of you guys *can* control your eating, and it can still feel shocking to you to see people eating badly even after they had their stomachs cut up. I actually feel very bad for those people because - in my mind - that kind of behavior is the epitome of addictive eating. I'm not saying "coddle" them - they have to want to get better. I am saying that it's not uncommon or even necessarily a predictor of someone's future recovery to start out feeling like somebody can teach you the "secret" of using food just a little bit. You just have to have enough people saying their truth over and over until the people who want it, get it.
:) Happy
53 yrs old, 5'6" HW: 293 ConsW: 273 SW: 263 CW: 206 
