Starting to run, starting to gain

I'm about 4 weeks into doing the Couch to 5K running program. I love the running, I'm feeling great, but I'm gaining weight. For the first two weeks I just assumed it was water weight and that it would stop. Now I'm 5 pounds up and I'm tearing out my hair. What the hell? My diet hasn't changed at all, if anything, I'm eating cleaner than before when I was still losing. I'm getting between 1000-1500 calories (normal for me) and all of my protein. I don't get it. I know that a little water weight is normal at first when starting an exercise plan, but this is bull**** Someone talk me down before I eat a cheesecake out of sheer frustration.

Hi Stephanie, have you read my Venting post a few posts down?  It is basically the same thing as what you are saying.  My trainer keeps telling me that this is a good thing and that eventually I will weight a little more than I did at my original goal, but that I will look better.  You are probably storing water and building some muscle.  I am being told my everybody to just go with it.

 I just went down and read it. I'm still not happy, but at least we're in the same boat! You were right on about the panic of seeing the scale go up. 

The only thing that I'd add is that, if you aren't tracking your food, you need to be. Because a lot of people start running and start gaining and it's not muscle or water weight but they really are eating more and they just don't realize it. But, if you tracking, then you know that's not an issue and can stop worrying about it.

 I saw Cirangle yesterday and had gained 5 pounds since last I saw him...he wants me to lose it by the fall...I was 150 on his scale ...on  mine I'm 145..I was upset and he was not pleased...and I have been running and lifting and not eating much...he did not want to hear about muscle...he told me to go back to eating protein and keeping carbs low if not none...I felt like crying and sceaming but instead went to Mc Donalds and got a MiLKSHAKE and went home and fell into a coma on the couch and blew off the support group and dinner because I felt so bad about myself and didn't want to talk about it...so I'm in  a really bad place but am going to lose ten  pounds because I can't take it anymore...I need balance and can't seem to find it anywhere...I am not used to maintenance and it's a whole new world...I know weighing oneself is important...I know about muscle weight..but I too am a slave to a number and WTF....I am so sorry I did not come last night but at the time it was the last thing I wanted to do...I just could not face my feelings of failure...and BTW on an unemotional level...on an intellectual level...on the level where I know better..I am fine...I look great...but it's the 
place where my addiction lives and my self hatred lives and my critical self lives and my insecure lives that I cannot tame...and yeserday I thought I would be fine with seeing the doctor and dealing with the scale and knowing that I have gained muscle and that I eat some carbs now and there is bounce back...but when he said I needed to lose it...I lost it inside..I  actually gained 7 but since I was weighed during the day he said it was OK to call it five...OMG ...I am 52 and feel 13....so today I am going back to counting calories and not eating anything off list...and losing the weight and working on fixing my head and that's my story...SEAVIEW

BTW on an unemotional level...on an intellectual level...on the level where I know better..I am fine...I look great...but it's the place where my addiction lives and my self hatred lives and my critical self lives and my insecure lives that I cannot tame...

If this is true, and I'm not doubting it is, what is his rationale for saying you need to take it off? Have you had any body composition testing? Is that part of your program? When I had my one-year follow-up, I met with both the surgeon and exercise physiologist. They were both thrilled I was gaining muscle.

I have a concern, generally, not about Dr. C' in particular, that surgeons push for as much "EWL" as possible which is measured relative to BMI rather than healthy body composition. I think it feeds exactly the kind of self-loathing that women in general, much less WLS patients, have re: weight.

I struggle with the same things in my head, as well, and I've had all the metabolic and composition testing plus a program that not only supports but requires strength training. I can't imagine the emotional hole I would be in if I didn't at least have that to fall back on.

Hang in there.

 thanks for your reply...my BMI is fine...who knows what my body comp is...I'm 5'8" and a size 10...
 In any other world and if I was any other person this would not be an issue..yes I need to have body composition and measure and all of that...I do wish I had an excercise physiologist...I am going to forge ahead and find a place where I feel good and satisfied in my own skin...thanks for your reply...SEAVIEW