Afraid of losing too much...afraid of gaining it back

Since Christmas I've gained 8lbs. Eating too many simple carbs and no****ching my calorie intake.

I've never reached my goal. I've been in limbo for at least 6 months. I believe it's because I'm afraid.  Afraid of what others might think? I dunno.
Any of you experience this? I've always been a self sabotager...(is that a word? lol)

A couple of friends mentioned I was getting too thin.
My husband once mentioned that I looked great but my face looked older.

I hear these comments and then I start making excuses why I shouldn't lose any more weight, like they're right. That I like my clothes and they'd go to waste if I couldn't fit into them anymore. Or, that dress size doesn't matter...but it's how I feel that matters and I feel great (heath-wise).

I remember when I first came to this forum for info and advice. It was Elina who stood out to me. Perhaps because she was so petite or because I thought she was gorgeous...lol I'm petite as well but why is that I could never picture myself at 105lbs like Elina?

A part of me thinks it just isn't possible. I have never been that thin. Would I look terrible?
Words of advice?

Lina, it is funny that our names are very similar, and you look like me on your avatar picture.  Every time I see your avatar, I think you could be my sister.  When I first lost to goal, my face did look a bit older than I would like, but in about one years time, the fat redistributed and I quite like the way I look now.  Are you small boned?  If you are and you are even a bit shorter than I am, 105 pounds is very doable if you want it.  Friends started telling me I was looking too thin when I hit about 130 lbs.  I had another 20 pounds minimum that I wanted to lose.  I was right, I look much better now.  Just look at my pictures and see for yourself.  I think that health-wise, you are probably fine being in the low 130's but you might consider going lower and see how you like it.  Nothing is forever, if you don't like it, you can always put the weight back. 

Thank you for the kind words.  I love seeing that I am "gorgeous" in print.  Really made me smile.  If you are not sure why, just take a look at my before pictures.  :) 

Thank you Elina. :)
 
I'm going to stop listening to everyone's opinions and convince myself that I'm going to try it and like you said.... I can always gain the weight back if I don't like it. Should be easy since I'm counting my cals again.
 
I am small boned and after looking at your pics Elina, I'm sure it'll look as good on me as it does you.

I've set my goal at 110lbs. I'd like to eventually fit into a size 2 or 4.

Hi Lina,

I am also a "shorty" at 4'11." As you can see from my ticker, my highest weight was 210 lbs. Quite a bit for a little person. I have struggled most of life with weight issues, but I was usually fighting to lose from 150-160's down into the 130's. When I was in the 130's, I felt great, was active, and could wear a size 6-8. About 20 years ago, I lost from 155 to 120 lbs, was exercising and weight training and felt wonderful. Then, I quit smoking and put on about 10 lbs right away. Over the years I did seesaw, but over the past several years prior to surgery, I mindlessly put on about 60-70 lbs. Wow .  I started developing health issues (sleep apnea, pre-diabetes, etc) and my pcp recommended WLS.

Anyway, my goal was 120 lbs, because I had been at that weight earlier and knew that I could get there. I reached that weight about 5 months after surgery. My pcp recommended that I lose down to 110 lbs. I didn't know, if I could get there, but I kept on doing what I was doing, and by mid-April of last year, I reached 110. Since then, I have gone up and down a couple of pounds, but I have been maintaining at that weight. Feels wonderful. I am medium boned, so I think this range is good for me. I can wear size 0-2 petite clothes and even have some size 14 Girl's jeans and pants.

Over the past year, I have filled out with some muscle, so I'm not quite as bony as I was during the rapid weight loss phase. I also had people tell me that I didn't have anymore weight to lose and that was when I weighed 130 and knew that I had about another 20 lbs to lose. I just kept on doing what I was doing and reached my goal.

So, I would encourage you to shoot for 110 or whatever weight you think you would feel the best. It isn't about the size that you wear, but how you feel.

We had surgery the same day. :).

Gail

Surgery on the same day! Go figure!
Thanks for the words of encouragement Gail.

I wasn't sure before but I'm really liking the idea now. Thanks for positive vibes. I'm feeling great about this now.

Hi
As one who was told I was getting too thin, you need to put these comments aside as the only person who gets to decide what you should weigh is you with input from your doctor. My surgeon told me to listen to him, the expert, and not to others when he told me i was not too thin. I really think its just people who are not used to seeing such big changes.


elina is right that stuff sort of moves around and things soften in appearance once you reach goal.
Take her advice. She is even more lovely in person than in pictures - both inside and outside.

So go ahead and lose down to what you want to be. This is the best time to do it. And have a talk with husband about remarks. I had that talk and told my husband I didn't want to hear comments about being too thin and he now respects that. Since that time he is now sleeved and is closing in on 100 lbs lost in less than six months!!!  

Diane

Awesome about you ....and your hubby Diane!
Thanks for the imput. I'm really looking forward to meeting my goal once and for all.