Scared to Death - a long story

 Hi guys - it's been wonderful having you here as the weight was dropping off.  I'm 13 pounds from goal and feel wonderful.  For the first time in my life, I wake up in the morning and the elephant in the room isn't staring me in the face and staying there during my waking hours.  Fat is no longer an issue.  I don't feel thin, but I don't feel fat either.  It's like having enough air to breathe - when there's enough, you don't think about it.  Same thing with this weight.  Going from a really tight size 2X to a comfortable size 8 is blowing my mind.  Everyone says that they didn't realize that I was that small.  Well, neither did I!

All of that being said, I am so scared that I'm going to ruin this and gain it back.  I've lost (and gained) so much weight all my life that I think I'm programmed for failure.  I can see little things happening now.  Even though I've lost this much, I'm starting to nibble and eat mindlessly.  I think I'm sabotaging the success that I've had and it is frightening!!!  I broke my back in Feb while skiing in Colorado and had to curtail the exercise program.  Today I got the go-ahead from my ortho-Doc to exercise more than just walking - Hooray!  Perhaps that's why I've been feeling like nibbling - I've been bored (but this is NO excuse!).

This week I'm starting a nutrition class with my NUT.  Hopefully this will help out.  I need to add vegetables and stuff.  I've been taking in a LOT of protein, taking all my vitamins and drinking water, but not much in the way of vegetables or fruit.  I've been on so many crazy diets, that I need to relearn how to eat sensibly.

Thanks for any input you can offer in gettng back on track and getting the last 13 lbs off.  But more importantly, KEEPING it off!  I love this forum and appreciate the input.  (By the way, I'm 66 years old and kind of feel sexy for the first time in years - ha!)  I'm thinking of skydiving next year.

Maintenance, for me has been relatively easy so far.  I did gain 6 pounds over the holidays, but lost it quickly just by going back to the rules.  I get on the scales every day.  I know myself well enough to know that if I don't weigh myself, I go completely into denial that those extra calories won't count. 

I also joined TOPS to weigh in weekly and be accountable to someone else besides myself - because I don't trust myself. 

Choose healthy snacks - fruit and veggies.  I eat sweetx, etc. but not very often.  I don't consider ANY food forbidden - just limited.  And those limits aren't regular.  If there is a special occasion, I eat what I want and don't worry about how much or what I'm eating.  But the next day, I'm right back on program.  So far, this has worked for me.  I exercise daily too, so that allows me to have a few extra calories each day.  If I cut back on exercise, I also cut back on calories. 

Join the club. All of us are or have been terrified of regain. And all of us have experimented with a few nibbles here and there. Its part of the process. You probably did some of your nibbling from the stress of being injured as well as being bored and not able to do other things. So make a list of stuff to do besides eating that is enjoyable. I like to keep my hands busy whether its with crafts or computer games and such.

Its good to begin working veggies back in because as your get further out and have a somewhat larger capacity its good to get in the habit of using that for veggies.

Be sure to keep food journaling and start again if you have stopped. As a person who has now maintained for over a year i think this and daily weighing are the two most important things that keep me steady. Its become like  brushing teeth - I would feel icky if I didn't do it. And the more I go while maintaining my loss the more real it becomes that yes maybe I can really do this forever.

I envy your going skiing even though I am sorry about the back injury. I sure want to go again one of these days. One of the things i quit  due to fat.

The classes sound like a good idea. Hope you will share any good info you get. You sound like you are committed to success and thats the key to doing it.    Diane

 
Gotta learn to use fear as a motivator.......

I fear that one day I'm gonna wake up and only one leg is gonna fit into my jeans.......

frisco

I understand your fear. Everyday, when I go to put on my jeans, I look at them in amazement and wonder, how in the world am I going to fit into them, and they still fit.

Next week, it will be one year that I have maintained within a two pound range, which I feel very proud of myself for doing this well.

This is all about making the necessary lifestyle changes and I think I finally I understand the differences between a diet and lifestyle changes.


My tools for success:

Daily food logging using an online tracking tool. It keeps me accountable and I think twice about eating something, because if I do, it goes in the food log.

Exercise 4-6 times/week, including weight training and other fitness classes.

Online and face to face support

Daily weighing

I eat a lot of the same things.

I don't eat out more than 1-2 times/week, if that. I take my lunch to work

I always carry some healthy food with me.

I allow myself some treats, but it isn't an everyday occurrence, like it was before WLS.

I started nibbling and caught myself doing it, so I have been working on limiting it. Mindless eating is what led me to become morbidly obese.

I understand your zest for life. I went skiing for the first time in about 12-13 years a few weeks ago and last summer, I went white-water rafting again. I would love to go zip-lining and do some other things. Sky diving isn't one of them. LOL!!

Good Luck!!

Gail

 Guys - this is the best forum - thanks for your input.  The one thing I keep seeing here, besides weighing every day, is keeping a food journal.  I had forgotton about this.  My Dr. recommended one several months ago.  Guess I have to take better notes when I check-in with him.

I made a pact with myself that every time I wanted to nibble, I'd pick up my water bottle.  Old habits are sure hard to break as I seem to do things without thinking - guess that's why they're called habits, hey?

Hmmm...zip lining sure sounds like fun.  

Thanks everyone, for the good ideas and good reminders!!!  This works if we use the tools at hand - and that's this website.  Solid gold!!!

I'm bookmarking this thread for all the good suggestions. As I get closer and closer to goal, I have a lot of the same fears!

Hi,

I'm recently at goal and just like you I am scared of regain. Journaling my food and activity every day really helps. I also go to Weigh****chers for support and it is great.

Lynn

Lynn, I was thinking that following WW would be a good way to get support during maintenance, but do you actually count points and all that? I don't know that I could go back to that . . .

Yes I count my points and track my food on my fitnesspal. I may be overdoing it, but I like to know my numbers both ways. I really like the meetings for accountability and support for managing different situations,etc. Also, I have gone to Weigh****chers since the 1960's off and on, and I wanted to be Lifetime! Ha!

Really, if you don't want to count their points, I do think the support is great. One of the NUT at my surgeon's office is pro WW saying the program works, if you don't buy into "you can eat anything", and the last NUT I talked with wasn't thrilled I joined because I was eating fruit and may stall (I was almost at my goal) so she said only one fruit per day.

I'd love to know if you join and what you think. Lee who is on here goes to meetings too, but she does not follow their program.

Take care!

Lynn