VSG Maintenance Group
Cross addictions
I wrote this in my journal today. I'm working on fighting this. At the request of one of my online friends some time ago who said I needed to share, I am finally doing it. Thank you BL. My problem is cross addictions and I'm battling them. If I can help one person with my honesty then this is worth it:
| I am 53 years old and 2 years and 4 months status post sleeve gastrectomy. When I was in my 20s I drank too much. WAYYYY too much. It reaked havoc in my life. I quit. From 30's until 40s I smoked like a chimney and finally quit. Then I started eating too much, way too much and gained over 100 lbs and could not get it off. I finally had WLS and did beautifully but I had picked smoking back up. So in November I quit smoking again. Now I've put on 14 lbs and started to have a shopping problem. WHAT THE HELL??? So now I'm going back to what I should have done BEFORE the WLS...I'm getting help to work on the root of my problems. Do I love my sleeve? ABSOLUTELY! But it did not fix my head, only my dress size. And it won't fix it forever if I don't work at fixing my coping mechanisms. No one change the cards dealt them, but they can change how they play the hand. Hugs and love, LA |
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You are right to share this post. It will help others and it will help you too.
Don't forget that you have lost 100 lbs and thats an enormous achievement that few people accomplish. Ok, so you had some regain. Put that in the past and think of today and this day forward. You know what to do about the regain. Read Cindy's post of a few days ago on her secrets. Very inspiring.
As to the substitute addictions, I think a lot of people have those so you are not alone. Look through OH posts relating to this to see how others handle them and consider counseling if you are not getting it already. You might look for a more acceptable "addiction" activity to take over whatever drive you have that leads to the drinking, smoking, shopping or whatever. Some of this may be due to boredom. Make a promise to yourself to try some new thing every month like going to a museum, taking an art class, reading a new author, writing haikus, garage saling (cheap shopping) or volunteering. Sometimes helping others is a good way to get away from being focused on your own issues.
Everybody has issues in life. It might be a cross addiction, a difficult marriage, loneliness, a sick child, other health problems, financial problems or whatever. Recognizing that hardly anybody has it really easy in life is helpful in being grateful for what you have and making the most of it. Its what I try to do when my whiney self emerges and tells me to go eat extra peanut butter.
Please post often on how you are doing. Your have come to the right place for support.
Diane
Don't forget that you have lost 100 lbs and thats an enormous achievement that few people accomplish. Ok, so you had some regain. Put that in the past and think of today and this day forward. You know what to do about the regain. Read Cindy's post of a few days ago on her secrets. Very inspiring.
As to the substitute addictions, I think a lot of people have those so you are not alone. Look through OH posts relating to this to see how others handle them and consider counseling if you are not getting it already. You might look for a more acceptable "addiction" activity to take over whatever drive you have that leads to the drinking, smoking, shopping or whatever. Some of this may be due to boredom. Make a promise to yourself to try some new thing every month like going to a museum, taking an art class, reading a new author, writing haikus, garage saling (cheap shopping) or volunteering. Sometimes helping others is a good way to get away from being focused on your own issues.
Everybody has issues in life. It might be a cross addiction, a difficult marriage, loneliness, a sick child, other health problems, financial problems or whatever. Recognizing that hardly anybody has it really easy in life is helpful in being grateful for what you have and making the most of it. Its what I try to do when my whiney self emerges and tells me to go eat extra peanut butter.
Please post often on how you are doing. Your have come to the right place for support.
Diane
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On February 18, 2012 at 11:47 AM Pacific Time, diane S. wrote:
You are right to share this post. It will help others and it will help you too.Don't forget that you have lost 100 lbs and thats an enormous achievement that few people accomplish. Ok, so you had some regain. Put that in the past and think of today and this day forward. You know what to do about the regain. Read Cindy's post of a few days ago on her secrets. Very inspiring.
As to the substitute addictions, I think a lot of people have those so you are not alone. Look through OH posts relating to this to see how others handle them and consider counseling if you are not getting it already. You might look for a more acceptable "addiction" activity to take over whatever drive you have that leads to the drinking, smoking, shopping or whatever. Some of this may be due to boredom. Make a promise to yourself to try some new thing every month like going to a museum, taking an art class, reading a new author, writing haikus, garage saling (cheap shopping) or volunteering. Sometimes helping others is a good way to get away from being focused on your own issues.
Everybody has issues in life. It might be a cross addiction, a difficult marriage, loneliness, a sick child, other health problems, financial problems or whatever. Recognizing that hardly anybody has it really easy in life is helpful in being grateful for what you have and making the most of it. Its what I try to do when my whiney self emerges and tells me to go eat extra peanut butter.
Please post often on how you are doing. Your have come to the right place for support.
Diane
you know you may have anxiety that would respond to drug treatment. I take an anti anxitey med every day. it works well, calms those late night fears and i don't feel drugged. just something i need for a lifelong issue. i think many people who drink too much or smoke or whatever have undiagnosed anxiety disorders that could benefit from medical treatment. you might be one. check it out. diane
Join US On The VSG Maintenance Group Forum!!
http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/VSGM/discussion/
I'm not sure this is labelled as a cross addiction, but when I separated from my husband and started dealing with myself, I found that I had incredible anxiety when I was by myself.
Some days especially later in the evenings I cry or pace or can't sleep. I feel desperately alone sometimes and feel like nobody will ever love me and I'll never have a healthy relationship.
It's hard, and sometimes I find myself stuffing my sleeve or doing other things like dating websites to distract myself from my reality. It's rough isn't it?
Some days especially later in the evenings I cry or pace or can't sleep. I feel desperately alone sometimes and feel like nobody will ever love me and I'll never have a healthy relationship.
It's hard, and sometimes I find myself stuffing my sleeve or doing other things like dating websites to distract myself from my reality. It's rough isn't it?
Start weight: 388, Current Weight: 185, Goal Weight: 180, Weight Lost: 203 lbs
Certified Nutritionist ♥ VSG FAQ♥ sublimate: To elevate or uplift.
3/2012 Plastics: LBL, 3 Hernias Fixed, BL/BA, Rhinoplasty & Septum Fix. 6/2013 Plastics: Arm and thigh lift
On February 18, 2012 at 12:34 PM Pacific Time, sublimate wrote:
I'm not sure this is labelled as a cross addiction, but when I separated from my husband and started dealing with myself, I found that I had incredible anxiety when I was by myself. Some days especially later in the evenings I cry or pace or can't sleep. I feel desperately alone sometimes and feel like nobody will ever love me and I'll never have a healthy relationship.
It's hard, and sometimes I find myself stuffing my sleeve or doing other things like dating websites to distract myself from my reality. It's rough isn't it?
Yeah - this is brilliant.
You've got to be really carefully about holes. You know the old saying, nature abhors a vacuum? if you've got a hole in your life, something will start to fill it in. If we are strong and paying attention, we can try to fill that hole ourselves with the good stuff (healthy habits). If we are weak or lazy or exhausted, it may fill with junk - smoking, overeating, alcohol, drugs, bad sex decisions, etc.
Holes are going to happen in life, sadly. The question is what will we end up filling that emptiness with?
This was a big problem for me "earlier in life".
You've got to be really carefully about holes. You know the old saying, nature abhors a vacuum? if you've got a hole in your life, something will start to fill it in. If we are strong and paying attention, we can try to fill that hole ourselves with the good stuff (healthy habits). If we are weak or lazy or exhausted, it may fill with junk - smoking, overeating, alcohol, drugs, bad sex decisions, etc.
Holes are going to happen in life, sadly. The question is what will we end up filling that emptiness with?
This was a big problem for me "earlier in life".
Heaviest weight: 310 pounds (Male, 5'10")
On February 19, 2012 at 9:23 AM Pacific Time, ruggie wrote:
Yeah - this is brilliant.You've got to be really carefully about holes. You know the old saying, nature abhors a vacuum? if you've got a hole in your life, something will start to fill it in. If we are strong and paying attention, we can try to fill that hole ourselves with the good stuff (healthy habits). If we are weak or lazy or exhausted, it may fill with junk - smoking, overeating, alcohol, drugs, bad sex decisions, etc.
Holes are going to happen in life, sadly. The question is what will we end up filling that emptiness with?
This was a big problem for me "earlier in life".
