I love my size but don't like the way I look

Basically that's it.  I'm at my goal with just a few pounds to play (guess you could say I'm below my goal).  BUT OMG, I am 54 yo but look like I'm 65. 

I have always had thin hair (which I was somewhat self consious about) but now with the wrinkles EVERYTHING looks worse. 

I have to remind myself the reason I had the surgery was for better health and that was SUCCESSFUL  and I am thankful.  

I was obese for 15-20 years so with the weight loss came the image issues that I'm still adjusting to but the image of looking 10+ years older is really hard to adjust to.  I don't mean to sound vain it's just hard.

Anyone else have this issue?  Or any suggestions?  short of having a face lift - I can't afford that!

Thanks!

((hug))

I know exactly what you are talking about because I'm going through the exact same thing.  I like being smaller but I don't like how thin my face looks or how I now have bones sticking out in places they never were before.  I'm 37 and had been over weight since a child so I'm having a really hard time adjusting to a smaller/normal me.  I actually wouldn't be mad if I put 10 or so pounds back on to fill out a little bit. 

I have read that it can take about a year for our brains to adjust to changes our body has gone through.  Hang in there and I hope you start feeling better soon.

 Youre not alone...I think that you have to be realistic about the changes that happen to us as a result of having this surgery.

Your face will soften up over time, fat will redistribute, or at least that is what the vets I trust most assure me of and I have all reasons to have trust in them.

The jounrey to Happy Healthy and Whole is just that a journey..it will have moments of all sorts of emotions along the way. I learn this all the time...

I know I spent a lot of my "fat years" day dreaming about this magical elusive dream..."If I could just be thin THEN I woiuld be happy" "well if I looked like HER well THEN I WOULD BE HAPPY" "If I ever saw anything under 200 I would be happy..under 190..180..170..160...150..." 

Except a crazy thing happened...I saw all those MAGICAL things happen but LIFE also happened and sometimes EVEN being thin isnt magical enough to make ALL my problems disappear!

SO I guess what I am saying is its OK to be pissy that you look older then you want to. But its also good to be GRATEFUL for you health! Be kind you..practice good self care..go get a facial..not a face leift but still will feel so good!  

Hope this helps...

botox and fillers

I've decided to quit looking in the mirror for 6 months to allow my body to adjust to the weightloss. 

The analogy I'll make is as someone who breeds show dogs.  Puppies go through a pretty FUGLY (from a conformation standpoint) stage from about 3 to 6-7 months. They just look stupid -- they grow long, then tall, out of balance,etc.  If you spend too much time looking at that age, you might end up sending a your next BIS winner off to a pet home.  If you don't pay too much attention, you look out in the yard one day where a previously FUGLY puppy now is a ridiculously good specimin of the breed at 7-8-9 months old. 

I figure I'm in the FUGLY puppy stage right now, and I shouldn't spend too much time picking myself apart in the miror.   If 6 months from now I'm still less than enthused, we'll start talking fillers and maybe a lift. 

Thanks for the analogy. Even if I don't progress beyond the FUGLY stage, I'm a damned cute puppy if I do say so myself!

Thank you everyone for the encouraging words.  I figure "this too shall pass"  either I my skin will adjust or eventually "I will be as old as I look."   Either way my health is better and my husband doesn't mind, he says he loves me no matter what!  I do know I am extremely blessed and that's what matters.

I think I was just having one of those moments this morning and I went in and put my "little girl panties on and had an adult girl talk with myself!"

Hugs to you all!!!

I went through a period that I truly looked haggard.  And I had a couple of people tell me that, too.  Of course, those who said that were jealous of my weight loss, but I did agree with them.  Then in the past couple of months, things seem to be looking better.  My face still has the deep creases, but I really think I'm looking better.  My Dad, who hadn't seen me for a couple of months told me this weekend that I am looking better.  Maybe it's the new "do".  I did buy some "filler" "deep wrinkle" repair that may just be doing what it's supposed to do.   I'm 60, so going into WLS I knew that my previously filled out wrinkles would show up more. 

Funny how we weren't vain about being SMO, but are about a few wrinkles.  Guess we are hard to please!

Wanda, you are so right, we are hard to please. 

My 81 yo father told me at the Christmas dinner table "you need botox you have really bad wrinkles"    And they say out of the mouths of babes!!!!

What filler deep wrinkle repair do you use? 

I've tried different ones.  I've bought some at Walmart.  I don't remember the brand, but it was a deep wrinkle repair. 

The one I just bought is by Estee Lauder.  Pricey  $39.50 for a small tube.  I also bought Lancome High Resolution Refill x 3 Anti wrinkle cream - $75!.  I really don't see it myself in the mirror, but I've had 2 people ask me what I have done different with my  makeup, because it looks nice.  I haven't changed my makeup so I'm thinking these 2 things are making a difference, even though I can't see it. 

I should have taken "before" pictures.