Changing goal?

How many people find their body finds a happy place that is ABOVE your original goal? I go between 144 and 140. Up and down. But never below 140. I think my body is happy right here. I'm not eating any more or less than usual. I'm in a size 6 jeans comfortably and a 4 on a good day.

Not due back at the do****il February... I'm wondering if I'm really AT my goal. I'd be totally happy if I never lost another pound. Any opinions??

BTW, this is Jenijeni... had to change my profile name for privacy reasons. Don't think my stalker will show up in this forum!

I was in the  middle of this long post when I lost EVERYTHING. Grrrrr.

I have been thinking about this a lot and I think it relates to running and setting a pace. The thing is: a cheetah can run 70 mph. But only for 30 seconds. And humans can run pretty fast for a short time too. I can run a mile in 8.5 minutes and many people can run one much faster. But I can't run 26.2 miles in 8.5 minutes.

It's the same thing with a lot of our early post-op behaviors.

We can be on a liquid diet for a few weeks and drop weight like crazy but we can't sustain that. (And we're only on it for medical reasons so we don't want to sustain it.)

You can then be on a very low carb diet and not ever treat yourself for a while. In the early days, it's pretty easy to do that without a lot of issue because we have greatly diminished hunger. Or none at all. So, why not take advantage of it?

But that is the equivalent of running at a 5k or 10k pace. Sustainable for a short  time but not forever.

The thing is, we have the rest of our lives ahead of us. We have to develop behaviors that will last a lifetime and that are sustainable for a lifetime. It's not realistic to think that we will NEVER eat _______ (fill in the blank with whatever it is you think you shouldn't eat) ever again for another 20, 30, 50, even 70 years for some of us who had surgery in our 20s.

So we have to come up with a strategy that is going to work for decades, not months. More of a marathon pace or even an ultra-marathon pace.

That means finding a "happy" weight. This is the weight where you are happy with your weight and your looks, but you are also not working so hard that you never have any fun or you end up binging and going off the wagon and gaining so much that you really aren't happy.

To put it in cheetah terms. They run 70 mph for 30 seconds but then they are so burned out, they CAN'T MOVE for about 30 minute after. During that time, other preditors sometimes steal their food! 

In running, you get better results and run the whole race faster if you pick a sustainable pace from the beginning. Running as fast as you can from the start can lead to walking at the end so that you finish much slower than if you ran slower at the start but kept that pace up for the whole race.

Dieting and exercise can be like that too.

I don't want to be one of those people who goes on crash diets and is all enthusiastic and going to the gym 5x a week and then two months later is competely off my diet, going to the gym 0x a week and 2 months later has gained it all back and is *****ing about my weight for months or even years until I get up the energy to go on another crash diet.

It's just no way to live in my book beging constantly at war with myself and my body.

Would I love to be a lower number on the scale? YES! Am I willing to do the work it takes to get there. Yes and No.

At this point, I am limited in my exercise due to a head injury. There isn't much I can do about it. I can eat less and I am logging my food again and attempting to eat less but I am not willing to be hungry and fight my body any more. I had WLS to stop that cycle. So I will accept being this higher weight until I can get back to exercising again. Then, at that point, losing a few pounds and being more conscious of my food choices will get me where I want to be. I am willing to do that.

Then, later on the in year, I won't have to do anything to maintain my weight. I'll be able to eat crappy and have lots of treats and for 2 months out of the year, I'll even be "too thin" and I'll fit into my thinest jeans. But it won't last... soon my big race of the year will be over, my workout schedule will get more normal, and my weight will be harder to maintain.

I can't sustain that pace all year round and I don't really want to. Working out that much is a sacrifice that I'm willing to do right before an important race but not all year.

As for you and what you should do... I think you have to be honest with yourself. Are you still in a window where weight loss is easy? If so, why not take advantage of it and get as low as you can? Are you closer to a year out and now the way it is is the way it's going to be for the rest of your life? If so, time to figure out how to maintain this new weight and get used to the new you.

One thing I will caution you about though... bounce back is real. It's not just about sustainable pace or willpower either. It's also about things like sleeve size and ghrelin production. So... you are happy with this weight now but will you be happy if you are 10-20 pounds higher 2-3 years from now? Because most likely that will happen.

This is such a good and thoughtful reply.

I have been struggling with this issue for months now and in many ways I think that I may have to come to grips with the concept that my original *goal* is a "Should" I have to cross of my list.

I picked my number as 140 becuase it put me solidly into the NORMAL BMI range...it gave me 10 pounds of wiggle room for that dreaded bounce back...God forbid I should slide away from NORMAL...

Well here I sit at 13.5 months Grateful post-op months later at 161 and gosh darnit..i may not be NORMAL but I am looking GREAT!

I am a solid size 8..sometimes a size 6 on a good day..medium tops...and I still have some Tits and Ass going on! I "should" be a happy WLS girl! And I am....BUT.....(you knew it was coming!!!)

Somehow my black and white thinking and this 140 number goal has me feeling like I have not failed exactly..but well..havent made goal!

Thus...I havent made a big 1 yr post..no photos as of late...not posting much on here...

And the thing is..I really am HAPPY with how I look...how I feel...How I eat...and I am still losing very very slowly...and I am good with that!

So perhaps I may have to be changing my GOAL on here too....

Thank you all for the inspiring and thought prevoking post!

You have lost over 102 lbs, that is awesome the number on the scale is just that a number, if you like the way you look and are feeling healthy, that is what this is all about..

a size 8/6 is a great size to be, if someone had told you 13 months ago you would be wearing that size im sure you would be thrilled..

you may still go on to lose a few more pounds, but start celebrating what you have achieved... photos please!!!!!

we want to see how hot you are!!!!!

 Thank you for the wise and kind words! 

I would love to post some photos but my mac gives m e a fit with doing so..there are some on my profile.