1 year and almost 3 months post op - thoughts and pics

I started this journey at 315lbs. I'm down to 169lbs so far. 145lbs was my initial goal, another 24lbs to go. That's how much I weighed for a little while - after dieting - when I was around 15 (I'm 28 now). Maybe it's not a very realistic goal, I'm not sure yet. For a bit more than six months I was constantly on OH, it provided great support and it was a great source of information. And I've been lurking around for a few days now, seeing how everybody's doing (I'm not even bothered to go to the main board to be honest), and I thought I should just come up and say hi.

I'm grateful for my decision to have this surgery. I'm grateful for my friends' support. I'm grateful for my parents' support. I'm grateful I didn't do this while not being in therapy but 4 years into it. I'm grateful for many things. And it's been interesting to relearn myself during this process. I'm obviously still me, but things have changed, not only physically. I'm afraid of regaining weight, it's painful to know that this is going to be a lifelong struggle. I still love food, I still turn to it in times of boredom and/or stress. But I'm a thousand times more mindful of what I put into my mouth.

I don't realize my current size. I don't know if something will fit me or not just by looking at it. I don't know if I'm bigger or smaller than other people. I think my deflated belly is my biggest body image issue at the moment. I look at it and it's like I lost no weight, that's how it feels anyway. I'm considering plastics although I'm really not sure about it. And if I go down that road I think one's supposed to wait for a while (stabilize weight, give skin a chance etc.).

These last months I had stopped tracking food. I needed some rest from that, it was unsustainably strict for me. I didn't gain anything. I lost about 10lbs in about 5 months or so during which I was eating whatever I wanted to eat. Most of the time I actually wanted to eat good stuff, so it was fine. But I realized that I had started grazing (on carby stuff) more than I felt comfortable with and decided that maybe it's time to try and lose some more weight and (maybe) get down to my initial goal. I've been doing that for the last month or so. I lost 10 pounds and nothing for about 10 days now. Oh well. I started the C25K program too. And I actually enjoy it this time (I had started a few months ago but my body wasn't cooperating greatly). And I'm generally much more active. Long fast walks with the dog, hikes in the weekends. And with so much ease. It's great. And I'm not smoking since a month after surgery either, so I definitely feel healthier.

Relationships... Well, nothing changed with my friends. Absolutely nothing. If anything, we're closer. My parents seem to be proud of me and I don't exactly like that. My dad is trying to make me eat whenever I go visit. He says I shouldn't lose any more weight. My mom thinks it's all great but she's not satisfied just yet (how original is that). My new partner is great, we're actually thinking of moving in together. She never knew me big. She's seen pictures and she's just amazed with the transformation. It's the healthiest relationship I've ever had and part of it has to do with the fact that I feel so much better about myself. And more in touch with myself.

I'm really trying to find a way to live and eat that makes sense to me. I'm just not sure what way is that yet, what my exact goal is etc. I only know that I wanna keep taking care of myself.

In numbers...
Went down from a UK size 26-28 to 14-16.
315 to 169lbs (I'm 5'6''). 146lbs lost.
I can eat about 3oz of dense protein + veggies (36 bougie).

Thoughts and feedback are more than welcome.
Take care of yourselves.
 

Wow, you look fantastic!  Great post!

Well, thank you :)

Very inspiring post!  You look like a completely different woman!

Thanks a lot! I feel different too.

What a transformation you have made!  You look beautiful and athletic!

Congrats on your success and your new relationship.  Congrats also on maintaining your friends and family.

Are you saying that your mom wants you to lose more weight, and your dad wants to feed you?  That is a hoot.  Going home must be a serious confliction!!

I hope you figure out what you want to do from here, and please stick around and be a part of the group.  You are a success story and I am sure can be an inspiration to others on the board as well as learn more stuff yourself.

Thank you! :)
It's a very serious confliction indeed. I guess it's always been like that with them though.

I had never thought of myself as a success story and you saying that makes me realize that I don't have to go down to 145 to consider myself a success story. Thank you.

awesome !

We have almost similar starting weights and goal weights and we weigh about the same now. cool :)