A friend or not one???

 I was talking to a friend last night. Well I though she was one. She asked me how I was doing I told her great. She told me she is not at goal yet and is happy with how she is. I told her that is great. I was happy for her. She than be gain to tell me I need a shrink because I am not happy or not always happy with me. I have lot 128 lbs but put some back on do not have any idea how or why. I do not eat crap and exercise so it up sets me that I have put weight back on. She told me i need to just go live my life do no****ch what I eat and do not exercise all the time. That I do to much of this kind of stuff.

I told her I never want to go back to 290 lbs and hate the though of ever gaining weight back. She said i was sick need some help because I do not see my self as thin yet and i need to just move on with my life. I do live my life but I do watch what I eat and drink and I love to exercise. She bummed me out last night with all this talk. I do not even know why I call her a friend when I do talk to her she yells at me telling me I am to concerned about what I look like. 

Am I crazy do I really need to see someone about this. I might exercise to much I migh****ch what I eat to much. I though after this surgery you are to take care of your self and do what is right from now on. Not so sure now what do you all think?  

I told my sister about her and my sister asked me why do I even talk to her. My sister thinks that there are people out there in the word not happy with them self and try to bring down who ever they can and she loves to bring me down. My sister told me. this friend we met in the hospital we both had the sleeve done on us she has only lost 70lbs I have lost much more than her wonder if she is just mad about that or what???. Sorry so long just had to vent thanks val.

What a bummer when friends don't behave as friends!  I think your sis is right and that there is some jealousy there going on with her.  When we had this major surgery...we also needed to commit to taking care of our bodies for life!  This was our journey and we needed to put everything into it..or atleast to be successful at it we do!  Does your friend have alot more to lose?  If so..I think she is very envious and that might be some of the problem. We need to be around people that make us feel good ...and maybe this is somone you don't need to see that much.  Take care of you!

Patty

 oh yes she has only lost 70 lbs and needed to loose 140 lbs and has not lost for 4 months now. She tells me she is fine with her weight loss that she is not crazy thinking about it like me. I do watch what I eat and drink and I do exercise. She told me she stopped doing all this because she is not crazy like me living this way.

That I need to live better than this to move on with my life do not let my weight loss control me do no****ch what every little bite. I think I am just going to stop talking to her this is not the first time she has borough me down. She tells me that I need to take lessons from another friend we have in common. She is just so full of advise lol. 

Oh My Please Plesee Do Not Listen To Her!!! 

If you want to keep this weight off for life, you need to be dilligent for life.  I lost all the way down and maintained for awhile and then I was not dilligent and I started to gain.  I now realize I have to be dilligent for life, my weight is back down, I feel fantastic. 

And as for working out, what a great hobby, if you love it, do it!  It is good for you! 

I surrond myself with positive people, if they are not, they are out of my life.  Including family, friends, coworkers (in the past)...  Harsh eh?  Life is so precious, be with people that care about you and that you care about. 

Congrats you have done a phenominal job!! 

Hugs, 

Cindy

I am preop still, until tomorrow(eeeekk)...but I'd like to play devil's advocate for a minute.  I am the type of friend, who when asked, will give very truthful answers.  I try to make it sound as heartfelt as possible, but sometimes the truth just hurts.  I have a current friend who is obsessed with how she looks.  It's gotten to the point that we don't hang out on what little free time we have unless it involves the gym.  She is starting to look sickly to me.  I'm not saying this is you, but maybe that is what your friend is seeing.  Maybe she is just being a good friend and doesn't want your life to revolve around excersize and food choices.  I could totally be wrong, as I don't know the whole story, but I could also be right.  My friend, she thinks I'm jealous because she is thin and I am not.  Well, in a year when I am thin and she still excersizes and obsesses like she does, I will still think she is obsessed.  Please don't take me wrong, I don't ever want to be this unhealthy again.  I pray for healthier days and days without knee pain.  But I also pray that I too won't become obsessed with the scale and food.  I just want to live a normal, healthy life. 

Now with that being said, your friend may not be a friend at all.  If she always makes you feel bad then you should stay away from her.  In the past 3 years I have met some amazing people who are very positive and supportive.  These people are who I call my friends...the rest are just acquaintances.  Surround yourself with positive supportive people and you will thrive in every way.

With regards to WLS and keeping weight off, obsession can be a good thing. It helps people to be successful. Personally, I would rather have my life revolve around the gym and being healthier. This is the change in lifestyle needed for success. They gym isn't the total answer or only way, but it does help. I never want to go back to where I started from. Obsession can be a good thing.

To live a normal, healthy life, one must weigh frequently and be mindful of what goes into one's mouth. It also involves increased activity. The gym is only one means to achieve this.

Valerie, I agree with Cindy...do not listen to her at all!!  You must do what is right for your body.  And trust me, if she's only lost 70 of the 140lbs that she needed to lose it's because she is probably not being diligent like you have been.  I have a friend also who was sleeved 3 months before me.  She probably needed to lose about 120lbs.  She ended up losing about 60 and is now on the regain.  She never watched what she ate and never exercised.  I, on the other hand made it to goal and beyond.  Our friendship now seems strained and I totally understand it.  Although she has never said anything negative to me and has always praised my success, I know it hurts her to see me.  So, we just have mostly lost contact which makes me sad.  I just don't pu**** 

Please realize now that it is very easy to gain weight the further out you get. This is no easy road and you must be on top of things.  If it takes a little obsession, then so be it.  There is nothing wrong with healthy eating and exercising.  And in today's society, it's not always easy to do.  Good luck and congratulations on your success!

Laura

 I was just on line on face book she just messaged me and said she forgot to tell me that all I do to is put my pictures of before and after in my photos. The last time I posted a before and after picture was on my 1 year anniversary which was July 19Th.

I asked her why she would tell me to stop adding my pictures if she does not like to see them than delete me as a friend of hers. I have removed her from my friends list so now she emails me yelling at me. I guess she was only a friend when we lost the same amount of weight once I passed her she became mean. Thanks all for the advise.

She clearly has issues of jealousy towards you.  You don't need this negativity...this journey is hard enough without that crap.  Keep strong and most of all, keep doing what you're doing!  She will eventually gain most of her weight back.  So sad, really. 

Laura

Your sister and the other posters are right. I wouldn't listen to your "friend." She is probably going to regain most of her lost weight. Continue to watch what you eat and exercise. The newest guidelines recommend at least 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous exercise most days of the week. Sounds like you are on the right track.

Gail