black and white thinking anybody?

You have always been my beacon, my lighthouse on this journey.  I look to you to foreshadow my most possible future.  I hear you loud and clear about it getting harder further out.  I don't think it has much to do with a return of ghrelin as studies show it does not really return very much.  I too choose to not keep the trigger foods around the house, but I am much more comfortable now to eat some of them when I am out with friends.  I went to a party at my friends house today and she makes some of my favorite cheese blintzes.  I must confess that I had one and felt no guilt at all, but when she offered the rest of them to me to take home, I gently refused her kind offer.  One is OK, more is not.  Before VSG, one of two possible scenarios would have played out; 1) I would have been dieting and had refused to have any blintzes at all or 2) I would have eaten three this evening and taken the rest home to finish.  It is amazing to me that I can have one and go home and have a cup of tea and be happy.

The party is over, the dishes are done..the pizza is given away and the leftover (delicious, if I do say myself!) cake is safely down the drain. I had one small piece of pizza and left some of the crust and a very small slice of cake with a few spoonfuls of ice cream. I ate a bunch of raw veggies during our ****tail hour...I really felt totally satisfied, which STILL amazes me even this far out...

On another note, I'm starting to get the results of my slightly late 4 year labs, and the TSH shows me quite hypothyroid. I've been sort of borderline for years but now it's really out of whack. I'm sure they will repeat this test, but I'm kind of hoping this will help explain the stupid 7 lbs. I gained so quickly 6 months ago and CAN'T get off ....

Lizanne

Lizanne, definitely have the test repeated, but if it's correct, it would completely explain what happened and why you are having problems getting this weight off. I too am borderline in this area and must stay vigilant that I don't fall into the hypothyroid situation and not realize it. On another note, I think I better do a bone density test.  I am a bit worried that that too might be a mirror image of what you are going through.

I'm not far enough out to make any predictions about myself.. or suggest any reasons to you, but I was an all or nothing person about my weight and diets too. So take this as just the rambling it is, since you made me think! I successfully lost from 308 to 155 in my early 20's, gained to about 168 and stayed in a 10lb window from there for almost 5 years..

Prior to that one really successful period, it was diet, go off plan for one thing.. throw in the towel for the rest of the day. Sometimes the day turned into days.. Not really clear rational thinking.. I still had out of control days during my losing and maintaining stage, but somehow was able to pull myself out before doing a lot of damage that time.

For me, the all or nothing thought processes seem to happen more when I am stressed and pressured. I have more control and clearer thinking when I'm not (normal.) I regained after a serious life event threw my entire world into drama for several years. I was emotionally devastated and couldn't handle what I needed to do to maintain and life at the same time. I buried my head in the sand once the regain really took hold. Tried stopping it a few times, with much shorter periods of severe restriction, leading to instant relapse and regain.. The head stuff is being worked on as I know life will go that route again in one form or another, and I need to be prepared.

Couple random thoughts/feelings in no particular order..

I'm older and have been through a huge loss and regain, and feel as if I learned some really important lessons about myself. Been there done that is really true in my case. 

I felt different, right out the gate from surgery.. I strongly believe the instant switch that happened was a direct result of a hormone reduction. It was so complete, and so distinct.. it was not a mental trick of my own making. I find this one thing by itself to be very powerful.

The ability to feel satisfied with smaller amounts is another that is foreign to me.. I never felt satisfied, pre-op. So, dieting and constantly feeling empty and unfulfilled obviously would drive someone to go off the edge once in a while.. and knowing that getting back in line meant more of the same feelings, it makes sense why one would go completely off the rails for a bit. You know you are going to be deprived, so get it all in now while you can.

I have a new mindset that is becoming second nature to me.. there will always be another meal, another taste if I want it. It isn't feast & famine anymore. There is no reason to panic. Prior to this surgery, that was an almost impossible thought, and I don't know why.. other than there was a chemical/hormonal process driving me.

I am a bit of a perfectionist, and an obsessive person.. This leads many times to the all-or-nothing deal in many areas in life. I am learning that going off plan (in anything, not just food) does not signify failing, with the usual spiral into negative thought that it can cause. I am learning to talk myself out of those circular thoughts. Being an obsessive perfectionist is handy in many ways, not so much when your mind tends to stray to the negative self-talk. Bad habit, and I will always need to stay vigilant about that one.

Ugh, sorry for the novel.. Your post really got me thinking, and obviously typing away..!

I was listening to the radio in the car a couple of days ago and although I don't bother with Dr. Oz...he happened to be on, having a discussion about why people over eat. I thought it was interesting that he stated, that when people are chronically stressed....the hormones in our bodies trigger a super strong urge to eat, eat, eat. He equated chronic stress to that of living through the stress of a famine. Hormones are released in the body, in times of famine, that give our bodies signals to eat as much as possible, anything that's available to us, EVEN THINGS THAT WE DON'T LIKE, for survival. I always wondered why I ate everything and anything, which in turn made the internal turmoil of being out of control worse and I'd eat anything in site. I know I am chronically stressed. Acute stress is different, people that don't eat when they go through a sudden major event in their lives, don't usually live with chronic stress. I know this doesn't hold true for everyone, but it does make some sense to me...just some food for thought.  BTW I too am the type of person that has dieted in the past, with the all or nothing/black or white approach. Going to pre-op meetings and having to go through the 6 month waiting period has been invaluable to me...what a great learning experience. I have my last visit with my surgeon on Thursday and they will then submit my paperwork for my VSG. I have read and read on this site, from the people on here that make sense and have sound advice for those of us that are serious about changing our lives.  I'm truly grateful for your input guys. I am going into this with my eyes wide open. Thanks for all of your support.

I agree with you, it is much easier to make good choices when we are not stressed.  The hope is that the habits we are building now, will help get through the tough times, because the tough times always happen sooner or latter.  I also agree with you that for those of us who have been fortunate enough to have had the ghrelin reduction, this makes all the difference in the world.  I could not be where I am today through just my willpower.  If I could have done it on willpower alone, I would not have needed VSG. 

I love your new mind set.  I too think in those terms.  Hunger is not an emergency and there will always be another meal soon.  I think it is almost impossible to explain to someone who has not gone through it, just how strong the need to eat was for many of us before surgery.  I remember almost shaking with the desire to eat a carby meal.  That doesn't happen any more.

I would be very curious to hear about the conversation that you have in your own head when you are talking yourself out of the black and white thinking.  I realize that it is a very personal topic, but if you are willing, many of us would benefit from your experience on this.  I find that many of us who are prone to this type of thinking are very successful people with a very strong streak of perfectionism.

I will put some thought into that and pay more attention when I do it.. the conversation is different every time, depending on the cir****tances.. 

Sometimes it's a simple, why are you sabotaging yourself, you can mitigate the damage right now if you take action?! Sometimes it's a matter of stepping back, telling myself now that was enjoyable, and focusing on the pleasure it gave and taking the power away from the "oh you deviated from your diet, you are baaad.." Many times acknowledging that I enjoyed something, allows me to walk away from the situation feeling satisfied and good, vs feeling the negative thoughts that lead to the bad spiral of throwing in the towel.

Often it's a matter of asking myself the good, better, best question when I am craving something, and understanding that none of the answers are really wrong, but just the act of stepping back from the impulse of desire=action, gives me a moment to process and make a better choice..

Taking much of the emotional aspect out of food itself was a tipping point to being healthier around it. For so long, overindulgence or going off plan was filled with feelings of guilt and failure.. that MAKES NO SENSE. Eating a piece of chocolate should not make a centered person feel guilty.. No one is a failure for slipping. This is not a test of being perfect for a specific amount of time, where one slip=fail. This is a lifelong commitment to health.. all the ups and downs included along the way. 

Impulse control comes into play a lot more.. for much of my life I did not consciously eat. I do now. Part is by necessity, I could become uncomfortable if I allow myself to eat without attention.. and partly it is trying to find a normal relationship with food, for fuel, for pleasure, nutrition.. all valid, in balance. If I am consciously eating, there comes a point where I am not gaining anymore satisfaction from having more.. so why continue?

Your post is very thought provoking.

Pre surgery I was always chasing the Thanksgiving full, everyday, every meal.

I don’t feel the need to do that anymore.  Why?  I suspect it is because it doesn’t feel the same any more. 

Pre surgery I believed that my problem was psychological.  That I needed to feel  full to fill a different need that had nothing to do with nutrition or anatomy.    So many thin people would probably agree that this was my problem.  Pre surgery my husband said, "So you are going to change your stomach to fix something that is in your head?". 

So now, post surgery, how does this explain that this need is gone?  Changing the size of my stomach has removed that need (Thank God).   I no longer feel the need to feel full.  

Is it the lack of ghrelin?  For me that is only a part of it.   The absence of ghrelin has relieved me of thinking about food all the time.  This is great too.

FYI , I am the black and white dieter pre surgery, lost and gained 80 lbs so many times, successful, then failure.   

Thanks for the post.

  

I agree with every word you wrote.  My only concern is something mentioned my Lizanne, who is much further out then the rest of us.  She told me that the obsession returns, the hunger returns and I think many of us fail to figure out the head issues during the "break" we are given when the ghrelin keeps the hunger at bay.  I am hoping to get a better handle on the mechanisms behind my earlier diet failures as I suspect I will need this understanding to use along with my VSG tools in the long run.  I am trying to peak beyond the horizon, and see where this amazing journey might take me next.

 Elina - this is a great thread with a lot of wonderful posts - thank you!!!!!     

I am further out. my real  hunger returned one week post-op - satisfied with one sip. my head hunger? not sure when it was back but it never went away. it is TOTALLY back now.

I don't think we should discount plain old HABIT  our former foe - those good habits like mindfulness and strategies for coping with stress, boredom, celebration, depression, anxiety ETC can be our best friends going forward.

master your habits or they will master you. somebody wise said that, I forget who!