Some thoughts on a "mature" sleeve

 
This may not be a popular response.......

I hear what your saying and have the same sentiments.......

All that said......Unless it's family or friend.......I've gotten to the point where I just don't much care anymore!

It bothers me that my 16yo nephew eats to much and has the (fat gene) as me and my brother call it.

But as I read stupid **** going on in the VSG main forum and seeing how people eat here in America.....It really doesn't phase me anymore.

I got my **** straight..... I can't save everyone. Move on !!!

Selfish???? I'm very willing to help/work with people that want help and they are really trying.

But, I'm done getting emotionally involved in other peoples issues voluntarily...... It's not healthy for me !!!! 

Reading page one on VSG main everyday....you can go down the posts.....read a few lines....and make a pretty accurate assumption......Ain't gonna make it......Maybe, if they get the calories down......No frickin way....what a waist of time and money.......This person gets it, no problem!.......Pour thing has 300lbs to lose with a 46f bougie.....good luck.....Eating chicken at 6 days out....really!!!!!

As I enter year 3..... I gotta find new motivations...... More NSV's on another level.

Sorry if this is not your experience..... but it seems to be my reality.

frisco

Edit: Just so there is no confusion.... I care deeply about the Friends and acquaintances I've made here on OH and IRL WL groups. We have shared a special time in our lives together.....kinda like being soldiers together fighting the same war. I got time and compassion to anyone in our inner circle. Just didn't want to come across all individual or something......

I'm the same way, Frisco. I post very little on any of the boards but I read them nearly every day. It's not hard to pick out those individuals who are either to going to struggle very very hard to lose to goal, not make it, or you just know that they will have significant regain. I stopped replying to posts where clearly the person should never have had the surgery and they aren't really wanting to hear the hard truth, do the hard work. I do that in my day-to-day life now as well. Like you, I quit voluntarily getting emotionally involved in other people's issues..other than family and friends. Loved how you phrased that, by the way. I don't have the same emotional response either when it comes to strangers and their eating habits. For the first year or more postop, every time I ate out, I took note of other's eating habits....their bad food choices, the huge portions. Looking back, I think I did it because I just couldn't believe I ate that very way, even worse, for so many years. I would see an obese person with an overflowing plate of high carb, crappy food and feel such sadness for them. I don't do that anymore. I'm more detached. I'm not indifferent but I don't feel the huge emotional response that I did at one time. As you posted, it's just not a healthy response.

 I don't see why this post should be unpopular.  

I'm interested in what newbie posts you feel mean they won't suceed, besides chicken at 6 days out (how do they do that?)

I hear what you are saying about new motivations: I find more & more I want to improve my MENTAL health - avoid sugar, for example, not because I am worried I might start regaining but because I don't like the brain fog it gives me.

Frisco, I agree with everything that you have said. I see the same things in the support group that I attend. I can tell, who is ready for surgery, and those that are not. There are those who have had surgery that I see falling back into old habits. Helps me to be  more mindful of my own journey and not to repeat their errors.

Some people are ready for surgery and others are not. There are varying degrees of readiness to change and many people just are not there. If someone isn't ready for surgery, you might as well be talking to a wall. People have to come around on their own, and it is an ongoing process to develop the insight to be successful at this.

Frisko, It sounds like you share unemotional curious detachment like Diane and I.

I think I'll go over and read the first page of the regular VSG board.  I have not been over there for quite some time.  I am curious.....

I did (to read the drinking flat diet pop thread) I don't recognize any of those people!

I didn't recognize anyone either, and it wasblah over there.  The diet soda thread was frustrating.  SHe even talked about the addiction to the soda.  She's fooling herself.  Studies show that diet soda actually stimulates your appetite, causing more eating and weight gain.  I've never been a diet soda drinker, but the times I did have one (pre-surgery) I found it to be true.  It made me ravenous after I drank one.  It totally messes with blood sugar.