The reality of long term maintenance

As I approach my two year surgiversary, the reality of long term maintenance it beginning to set in. I still feel great about my decision and weight loss and never minded the fact that my options at restaurants were limited or that I had to pass over all the brownies and such that are often around where I work. I felt I had accepted the reality that to maintain this weight loss as I rapidly approach age 60 that I was going to have to stay under 1200 calories per day and I felt ok with this.

But lately I am feeling a little down about how hard it may be to stick to these habits for the rest of my life. There are a lot of charity galas and such in our area that would be fun but rich food and drink is a part of it all. I am feeling hungrier lately and while I used to find it easy to stay within my eating plan, its becoming a little more challenging.

Anybody else feel like this and what do you do about it?

Diane

Diane,

I'm not sure I have exactly the same feelings, but there are certainly times that I'm frustrated that I can't eat more! I like to eat and enjoy the flavors of food. I chose this surgery for the restriction, yet sometimes I resent it.

I do allow myself the occasional indulgence and then force myself to get back on track as soon as the special occasion is over. So maybe you enjoy a party or two and trust that the sleeve will keep you from straying too far and help you get back on track.

As far as the hunger, is it all the time or do you notice you go in cycles? I can eat a lot one day, but then not be hungry the next. You're a little farther out than I am, so it may be different for you.

Have you experimented with adding a few more calories to see what happens?

Jen

Yes I feel the same.  And the other thing is that I know how it 'felt' to be at my thinnest and I loved it.  Being up just a few pounds I feel like I have gained more than I have.  I think I have filled out because of the weight gain and because of the lack of exercise.

I still dream of being at my thinnest, but I just don't have it in me to go back there and stay there.

I am crazy proud of those of you, including you Diane, who are doing maintenance properly, who are still so dilligent after all this time.  I have slacked way off.  I am somewhat depressed....

But I will tell you something, I love my Sleeve, and I know for a fact, I would not have gotten or stayed so lowed in my weight loss journey without this amazing surgery.  So all and all, I am very very happy with where I am at...  I just miss where I was.  You are still 'there' enjoy it and do what you can to keep it...  but be sure to indulge sometimes to... this is your life honey.

Big hugs, you are doing soooooooo well. 

Cindy

I have found that I needed to relax the "rules" somewhat to stay in my comfort zone with the sleeve.  At first, this seemed really scary to me and I was sure I would gain weight.  But it didn't happen.  I now eat on plan most of the time, but I allow myself quite a few indulgences.  What surprises and even shocks me is that they do not seem to lead me to eat mindlessly like they would have before surgery.  I seem to have found that elusive middle ground.  I am still amazed that this is working, but so far so good.  I wonder what would happen if you gave yourselves a little more discretion to eat what you like in small quantities here and there.  I know it is a scary preposition, it took me almost two years before I would even consider it. I would tell you to not miss the charity gala's, to go and enjoy the food but in small amounts.  If it doesn't work, go back to plan and the sleeve will get you back to goal again. 

yes i totally understand your feelings, and i think having gained weight and taking it off again has been a great learning experience in its self for me.. i certainly dont advocate anyone doing it, but for me it has taught me  alot..

Im now just over 4lbs from where i want to get back to but i have realised that i still have great restriction if i dont put junk in my sleeve.. i have been eating 2 ounces of measured meat for my meals and a protein shake for breakfast i do not have room for alot of veges i'm not  hungry because the inbetween the every 4  hours i am drinking to get in my fluids.

I have found that if i choose the right reastaurants i can go out enjoy my meal and still lose the added weight..( i have done this at a mexican where i order fijatas and  and had a couple of pieces of totilla chips, or my barbeque where i ordered brisket minus the sauces..even had two tiny forks in mashed potatoe)

what i have learned is if i go out and eat that even if i have left overs i dont eat it.. i stick to my program for that day right up til i go out and then the very next meal is back on program..
I leave all leftovers for my husband to devour and for me im still dropping weight so its not killing me..
I wont partake in the cakes or coffee drinks that lead to my gain but if im eating til i feel satisfied i dont have the room anyways so im still not missing it...( been over 6 weeks now cake free)

so i would go out and enjoy your events but stick to your plan both before and after... I think you did this a few times on your mid west trip with success?
as long as they are not every day, i say go and enjoy them if you see it starting to effect the scale you can always cut back..

as for the getting hungry i had to drop alot of the soft proteins like yogurts and use dense protein instead to feel full for longer..

Great job Linda!!  I am crazy proud of you!! 

Big hugs,

Cindy

 the brownies aren't worth it, I know this from experience. but I also know what you mean.  and I can't believe I am a YEAR further out, wow.

I think the further out you are, the more you are like a non-op. the more you have to choose - over and over - that you don't want a brownie every day. 

as to if you can have a bite of brownie now & then - I am guessing yes. do you really want it? have you tasted it lately? really, really sweet as in  get me a quart of ice water thirsty-making sweet. 

if you are hungier, eat more.  some of the healthiest foods out there are all about volume, have you tried an apple lately?

because I am guessing you could use more variety.

For me, it's been about finding a balance that I can live with long term without feeling too miserable. I'm up about  7-10 lbs. from my absolute lowest. I'm actually at the original weight Dr. J and I agreed on as my goal, and I seem, so far, to be maintaining here pretty easily. It's still a very healthy BMI, I'm still wearing my skinny clothes (I think the exercise and strength building has helped there), but I do eat more calories, enough so that I can have little treats fairly regularly. I know that I'm not a normal naturally thin woman, so I'll ALWAYS have to be super vigilant, but I'm using my mother as role model. She WAS natually very thin and, interestingly, always ate tiny protein oriented meals. But every day, she'd have a piece or two of candy or some ice cream or a couple of cookies. Now, I can't keep ice cream, cookies, or most candy around the house, but I do like something sweet, and I have let myself do that. So I eat protein first, keep the rice/bread/flour stuff to a minimum, but let myself have some sugar...I don't know...we're all SO different! I just know that if I get too deprived, I can't keep it up...

Lizanne

I'm not a long time vet like you guys are.  But I'll bet that even "normal" thin people, who have always been thin, find it harder to stay that way as they age.  We're human, after all.  Our bodies tend to want to pudge out and get lazy as we age.  Look at your old cat if you want proof.  So we're all battling the bulge, sleeved or not.  I am very thankful for my sleeve, it gives me an added advantage.  I do have my days when I think some M&M's would sure be nice, but when I do indulge, the treat is never as yummy as my mind remembered it to be.  I'm glad for that.  It was a trade off for all of us.  We'll be fine.  It's nice to not be controlled by food.

For a brief moment, I thought I was on the celiac/wheat allergy board.  It was when I read this:

"Never minded the fact that my options at restaurants were limited or that I had to pass over all the brownies and such that are often around where I work. I felt I had accepted the reality"  Then you said "maintain" and I snapped back to knowing I was on the VSG board like I thought I was on in the first place.

The reason why I thought this for a second, is because that line is a line I see on the celiac/wheat allergy forum a lot.  It's my reality.  I have a wheat allergy.  Not only can I never eat fast food, brownies, bread, pasta, cakes, cookies, pastries, donuts, pizza, burgers, or any sort of buffet, potluck, restaurants (unless they have a few Gluten free options) or gala again, oh and forget traditional holiday food.  I also have a tiny tummy. Food is over for me.  Which is good and bad.  And I know that it is for life.  I will never ever ever be able to eat those things again.  I was diagnosed 16 months ago and have gone through several bouts of food mourning;  Denial,  Anger, depression, acceptance.  They were all hard stages.  I can't help but wonder if you are in "food mourning" knowing that VSG/maintenance is for life. 

I do think maintenance will be harder for you than me, for the simple fact that you CAN eat those foods that you are trying to avoid, where resistance is easy for me because eating those foods would mean death or hospitalization.  Please don't think I am looking for sympathy or whining because I am not.  I am over it, but it took a lot of anger and tears to get where I am today.  I am at peace.  What I see and I recognize in your post is "food mourning". 

I really had no where else to go with this...I was just wrapping my head around your emotions and thinking I totally understand how you are feeling.  It's my reality too.    

You know, I have an example.  Sunday after church, my family wanted to go to IHOP.  I was hungry, but there is absolutely nothing except for coffee in IHOPs that is safe for me to consume.  There is to much cross contamination.  They even add pancake batter to the eggs to make them fluffier.  In the past, when I was in food/wheat mourning, I could have easily started crying in frustration, got depressed, or even been extremely angry.  But I wasn't.  I was fine.  I drank coffee, then had my husband stop at a grocery store so I could get a can of gluten free chicken (not all canned chicken is safe for me to eat).   I happily ate it in the car.  Since food is over for me, filling my belly and getting nutrition and energy is my goal.  Nothing more. 

So, I was just wondering if you are going through a mourning process, like I did.  

I hope my post doesn't sound all off the wall.......I'm just telling you how I am seeing things, which may be really out in left field.  I really wrestled with typing this because I feel so alone with my allergy most of the time (except for when I am on the Celiac board).  People really don't get it, and I see your post and I get it, I think I  know where you are coming from...It sounds like you are mourning the loss of food.

You asked how we deal with it?  For me, I had to go through the mourning process several times.  It was a long process, you will find peace in time. (during the anger stage, I was jealous of people who could eat wheat and I regularly flipped off donut shops)..... I can't believe I admitted that.......

Anyway.....my warped sense of reality in full bloom

P.S.  I forgot to say that when I finally do get something to eat that is really yummy and gluten free, I can only eat a small bit of it because of my sleeve......frustration sets in......which makes me love my sleeve even more, because without it, I would most certainly binge in those situations.