Setting Goals

A couple of days ago loverofcats responded to Nick E's thread titled "Half the Man". They were talking about the let-down of reaching goal weight. Gail suggested setting other goals. This thread really was timely as I'm nearly at my goal weight and I'm starting to wonder "What now?"

This morning I had a follow up appointment with my surgeon. He will not set a goal weight. He says I'll stop when my body is ready. I've set my own goal weight anyway. He suggested I start really focusing on exercising and lifting weights. I've been losing fat now for a while and he wants me to lift so I don't lose too much muscle. So I now have a new goal. I'm going to find a personal trainer and get started. I live in a very rural area so my choices are probably limited but I'll check around to see what I can find. I HATE to exercise because I HATE to get hot. I love cool and dry. Living in the frozen north suits me right down to the ground. Wish me luck.

Your plan sounds like a good one. There are also online videos and ones that you can order for home use. A personal trainer is expensive, but if you can one that will offer you a package deal for multiple sessions, it can cut the cost some. Also, maybe you just need one or two sessions/week in the beginning, and be on your own the rest of the time.

At about the beginning of month 4, I was feeling weak and the skin was hanging off of me like a melted candle. I had been walking, but it wasn't enough. I thought that having a personal trainer a couple of days per week and a pilates class, would at least get me to the gym and help me with toning and preserving what muscle mass I had left. It was the best thing that I could have done.

Fast forward seven months, I have added more cardio and resistance training. I am taking TRX classes 1-2 times/week, in addition, to the strength sessions with a trainer. During the past two weeks, I also started taking a spin class. I have been three times and that class makes me sweat. Most important, I have added muscle, so much so, that people notice the muscle definition in my upper arms and legs. I still have hanging and loose skin, but it would have been much worse without the strength training.

Your surgeon is absolutely correct about starting strength training to preserve and build your muscle mass. The lean muscle mass helps your metabolism to run more effectively and uses more calories than fat. Lean muscle burns almost twice as many calories as fat, so even at rest your body is burning more calories.

My new goals include increasing my muscle mass and decreasing my body fat, as well as trying new classes and machines at the gym. I am also taking long hikes in my hilly neighborhood and started riding my bike a few times. I would like to go on a multi-sport or adventure vacation and what I am doing now will help me to achieve this goal.

Maintenance is a challenge, but it is a complete change in lifestyle and I will continue to practice the behavioral changes that helped me to reach goal.

Best of luck to you!!!

Gail

Here are my thoughts  I have tried really hard not to have numbers as my goal.  I spent most of my adult life being controlled by numbers; weight on scale, calories in food, sizes of clothes, minutes of exercise and of course BMI.  I had goal activities, this is an extract from my blog (1 year surgiversary.)

"Where do I start...I written about my life prior to surgery in an earlier blog. So I’ll take this from the morning of surgery. I weighed in at 120kg (264lbs). I was strangely calm, yet quiet and reflective. I knew this was something that I wanted to do, I had thought about and planned and whilst I didn’t have a goal weight in mind, I had goals. That’s what kept me focussed. 

My mother is elderly and lives in South Africa whilst my family and I are in New Zealand, half a world away. My mother had been ill and we all thought she was dying. I had promised her that if she ‘hung in there’, I would bring the whole family back to visit her for her 95^th birthday. I keep my promises and she’s a stubborn old bird, but the thought of a 24 – 28 hour door to door trip each way was overwhelming. Flying is not only uncomfortable, but painful and embarrassing.  So my first and most important goal was to fly with ‘relative’ comfort back to South Africa in time for her 95^th birthday on the 10^th January 2011.

Next was to kayak with my husband. He had built a beautiful cedar-strip kayak with paua shell inlay and I wouldn’t get into it because I thought I wouldn’t fit. I was also petrified that if by some small chance I did fit and the kayak rolled, I wouldn’t be able to get out.

I wanted to dance and I didn’t have the puff, the stamina to lug my weight around. I love dancing, but was aware of the spectacle of this obese woman gallivanting on the dance floor.

I used to love windsurfing but couldn’t haul myself onto the board, which meant if I fell off while off-shore I wouldn’t be able to get back on again.
 
I have dreams sometimes that I can fly, soar above the land and sea...I wanted to see if I could experience that.

I used to ice-skate, but the picture of this fat old woman on the ice was ludicrous...I wouldn’t even be able to do the boots up. Let alone skiing, which I have never done before... once when my family went to try it, the man at the equipment hire shop indicated, respectfully but clearly, that I wouldn’t be able to fit the ski boots. So I had to toboggan – ungainly, graceless, not a pretty picture.

So how did things change... the weight started to drop off after my sleeve. Six weeks after surgery I started Zumba classes, I was the oldest, fattest and most uncoordinated there, but I didn’t care. As time went on I shrank and learnt the moves... and my increase in stamina meant I could outdance some of the younger ones!!

I started to get into clothes that I had kept in suitcases for years. I began to dress up for functions and allow, no encourage photos to be taken of me. A murder mystery evening, Grease and even the Rocky Horror Picture Show, resplendent with a shocking pink wig.

Then with spring came kayaking, nervously at first and then with growing confidence. (now I have my own – plastic not cedar, but still fast). Then I gave windsurfing a go, technology has advanced so much that I probably need a new board, but I think I should have a few lessons to see whether hurtling across the water at breakneck speed is still something I want to do as I near 50.

Our trip back to South Africa was amazing....firstly was fitting into the airline seat. A precious memory is a microlight flight over the Victoria Falls – awesome. I am so privileged to have done that. How special, a year ago I wouldn’t have made the weight restrictions.

1/1/11 New Years day I did a paraglide off Lion’s Head, part of the Table Mountain range in Cape Town. So beautiful, it truly was like flying. Breath-taking, again a year ago I wouldn’t have met the weight restrictions, let alone been able to manage the hike up to the take off point. And I wore shorts!!! I was in my element, such joy.

In the Eastern Cape about 10 days later I went for a horse ride along the beach with my husband and daughter. I had not been on a horse for about 20 years. I hadn’t want to subject a horse to my weight, animal cruelty and all that. Well, cantering along the beach was truly terrifying... much worse than either the microlight or paraglide... but riding up through the dunes and along the cliff edge watching a pod of dolphins frolicking in the waves was a truly magical experience. I felt so at one with nature.

And then, of course, was my mother’s 95^th birthday. I was delighted to keep my promise.. and didn’t mind the photos ... well most of them.

Since our return I have started rowing, even though getting up at sparrow’s to be verbally abused by the coach is a challenge. I have noticed an increase in muscle tone and stamina. I can fit into a wetsuit that was custom-made for me 30 years ago. Ok, ok breathing is over-rated, as is circulation... but I can fit into it.

A few weeks ago I went rollerblading along Tamaki drive – battled to get the boots to do up over my calves and had to go up a size to get them to do up; (I’m a lot happier in my own skin, now. I accept that I have big legs and that’s just how it is) but such a lot of fun and great exercise. And I have bought vouchers to try skiing at Snow Planet... and if I like it, I might even try on a real mountain.  "

Since then I have been skiing twice at the indoor slope and loved it.  Hopefully in about a month I'll do the real thing on a mountain. 

So my advice is choose goal activities that enhance your life and bring you joy. And then all the exercise and care you take in other aspects of your life take you closer to those goals.

This is a beautiful post! Thank you for so eloquently articulating how our lives got smaller whilst our bodies got bigger - and the wonder and joy of turning it around and rejoining the world - fully and joyfully.

I agree 100% about making health, activity and functional goals instead of or alongside weight goals. The number on the scale is really just a vary inaccurate shorthand for what we really look for with our surgeries - increased health, increased life.

Didn't get a chance to read this until Tuesday evening. Have to say that I sat here and cried as I reread it a second time. It was so inspiring and joyful. You've given me more inspiration...not just to continue towards my weight goal but also not to wait until that goal is met. To live life during the process. I've spent too many years on "hold" wishing I had the ability to try new things and to redo some of the events I've enjoyed in the past.

Thanks for one of the best posts.

Thanks, ladies. I believe an acitivty goal will be just the thing I need to keep my head in the game. I've been feeling bored and at loose ends lately - I think I need to get my butt moving, much as I've always hated that.

I appreciate the support. 

Just 2 cents worth of advice when working out and trying to stay cool...

I also hate feeling overheated during a workout, and if I'm not jogging outside in the evening when it's cool out, I'm in the gym with a fan pointed right at me (I go at off times so I feel OK about hogging the fan). The breeze from the fan helps me through the workout, even as I sweat.

Stand in front of the fan. Now, why didn't I think of that? 

I have had mixed results working out at the gym when it's hot out. Spin class can really heat up a room even with lots of fans going. Same with running on the treadmill if the sun is coming in the windows. They have A/C so if it's somewhat hot outside, it's cooler in the gym, but for some classes when it's really hot outside, the A/C can't keep up!

Yep, I hate being hot too. Thats why I did swimming years ago as exercise though I now live where there are limited options. Weight lifting is more fun than a lot of other exercise so i think your plan is good.

Remember that when you reach goal weight  you are not at the end of your journey. It continues for the rest of your life. Thats why its important to set goals in maintenance and achieve them so you don't start sliding into old habits. I set a goal on my computer page for every six months that my weight will not be over 125. Met that the first time around and working on keeping it there for the next 6 months. I still food journal and have a target range for calories and protein. Doing that keeps me in the game. Also attend support groups and stay on OH. Also make goals on things you want to do but couldn't in the past due to weight. One I did was ride a horse again. Another is learning to surf and skiing again. Haven't done those yet but its something to work toward. Having these things to look forward to keeps you moving ahead and helps avoid backsliding. GL.  You are on the right track.  Diane