Having a tough time--need encouragement

Ranting and getting stuff out here, sorry if it's long.

I am 21 months out (October will be 2 years) and I haven't lost all my weight yet. I am kind of disappointed that I haven't lost more and I wonder if I should have chosen a malabsorbtive process(RNY or DS). Would I be at my goal if I had done that? I just stopped losing at one year and after struggling for a few months went back to my nut and got a new eating plan. I lost 10 pounds in two weeks then but now I struggle to lose more. (I am going to see here again next week) I think the 10 pounds was water loss from going lower carb. So the last 3 months I go up a couple then down a couple. It's really frustrating. Sounds like those of you in maintenance and I am hardly there!
My body is building muscle and my measurements have changed but the scale ...might sound familiar to you. I have improved my health gotten my mobility back but maybe its the perfectionist in me ...It's not enough.

 

The kicker was this past Saturday when I went to a party and met a lot of new people. (I would have never been able to go at my highest weight) One woman told me I might encounter prejudice during my job search because of my weight and age( I am 60). I was floored! I must still look pitifully fat and therefore have not freed myself from the stigma. I felt weird telling a stranger I just lost 136 pounds.

I track my food, exercise an hour a day, varying the intensity. I do have some limitations because of osteoarthritis so I work out in the pool, just as I would in the gym. I really have some abs now from doing core exercises in the water and that really seems to have made a difference. It seems like I get a lot of benefit (calorie burn) from that without "killing myself". This week I have been able to get the scale to move down a couple pounds...I hope it sticks! I have tons of stress in my life and have done the best to manage without much stress eating, (key word=mu*****reased the exercise if stress got too bad). Its going on three years now--I want it to end.

Will ever make it to my goal? Or should I seriously consider going further with WLS? Maybe I should consider getting the excess skin removed? Or am I just depressed and can't see through the fog?

Thanks for letting me put it all out there. I read these forums daily and know how much help you all provide.
 

 I don't know the answer as to if you should be at goal, needed a different surgery or anything about that BUT what I will say is that losing that much weight is amazing and you should practice enjoying it until it comes naturally!

good for you! 

 Thank you for your encouraging words.

Aw, sweetie, coming at you with a hug

That woman has no couth.  Who would have the lack of manners to say that to someone she just met, even if she was thinking it??  Honestly.  Like she thought you didn't realize you are 60 and still a little overweight.  Stupid woman.

Anyway, I think you are absolutely rocking your new life!!  Your exercise and food put me to total shame.  Be extremely proud of yourself for all you have accomplished, and live your current life to the fullest.  You are an inspiration :-)

And, not that my opinion counts, heh heh, I'd get the skin removed before going farther with WLS.  I had a tummy tuck and breast reduction about five years before WLS, even though I still weighed about 220 (I had lost down from 292 on Weigh****chers ... and of course I gained most of it back).  Getting rid of that belly flap and boobage was such a relief!  It held up extremely well after WLS.  So don't be afraid to get skin removed even if you aren't at goal ... if you want to!

Take good care of yourself, dear :-)
--Dorothy

 Yeah and like she wasn't thin herself! She blamed her weight on glandular problems. Afterward I realized she was pretty rude but it just reminded me that I still have another 100 to go.
Thanks for the support.

*squeeze*

She is what we, around here, call double dumb.  She does not know, and she does not know she does not know.   Mz Dorothy may well just mutter "bless her heart" :} 

I have no good words only big ol googobs of love to send at you.  *GOO GOBS O LOVE, COMIN ATCHA*

 Thanks Brandilynn! Positive reinforcement really gives me a lift and supports my going forward. Right back atcha girlie!

I'm sending BIG hugs your way.  I feel your frustration coming through your words.  It sux to work so hard and not get the results that we want.  I'm 17 months out tomorrow and still not at my personal goal.   I was the same weight from October to January and had to really go back to basics and lower my carbs too in order to see the scale start to move again.  Some of us are more resistant to letting go of the weight than others.  I too am 60. 

While I don't know what's right for your body, my only suggestion is to try to get as close to the basics that you used to shed that BIG chunk of weight.  It's harder the further out we go, but at least we have Sleevie to help us.  Use every trick in that toolbag that you got when you had your surgery.  Keep going back to the nutritionist, keep posting here, keep staying in the loop so that you don't give up.  You're not a failure at all.  I wish I had shed 136 pounds, as do so many people after WLS.  You rocked your Sleevie and now you have to figure out how to rock the next stage.  You can do this or you wouldn't have been able to in the first place.  Visualize your body with another 5 pounds gone, then another 5.  Visualize the body that you want when you're swimming.  Whatever you do, don't give up and don't talk trash to yourself.  This is a great opportunity to love the body that you're living in and be grateful for your increased mobility.

Thanks for posting about your struggle.  I woke up this morning knowing that I have to tighten things up more and be even more basic in what I'm doing.  Your words have given me great motivation this morning.  We can do it!

 Thank you Lee for reminding me the power of visualization. I knew it would take me longer than most folks and even at my goal of 150 I will still be clinically obese cause I am barely 5 feet tall, but I will be happy. Right now I am thinking 200 would be fantastic. My surgeon never promised me I would be thin he said i would be saggy and HEALTHY. I met his goal at one year but haven't met mine yet. As hard as I work on the physical, I know I can affect changes working through the spiritual as well. Both go hand in hand.

I don't mean to be the lone wolf here or the negative nancy and please know that this is coming from the bottom of my heart. I really hear your pain and suffering and know how frustrated you are.  Have you talked to your surgeon?  Is it possible to switch you to a DS?  I only say this because you have lost a ton of weight but you aren't at goal.  I don't have your stats in front of me as I type this but I seem to recall you still have a 100 pounds to lose.  Is this correct?  If it is, maybe you really should look into a revision.  As I'm sure you are well aware, the sleeve was originally part one of a two part surgery.  Maybe having that second part won't be as difficult, healing wise, and it might allow you to finally get down to goal.  If you are doing everything you say you are doing, maybe it's time to reconsider and have the second surgery.  I think I would look into this before looking at having the skin removed.  I seem to recall that people have said your loose skin counts for about 10% of your total weight loss, so if you've lost 136 pounds you have have 13 pounds of loose skin.  These are just some things to think about.

Good luck to you and know that we are always here to support and love on you!