Husband newly sleeved - MIL driving me nuts!!!

My MIL, a militant bandster, called me yesterday complaining that she doesn't think my husband is getting enough to eat nor is he getting the right things to eat. My husband (a former bandster) is on protein shakes only right now which is exactly what our Dr.'s plan calls for. She thinks he needs to be eating mushy foods already and more carbs - telling me that just because YOU prefer to eat high protein doesn't mean that HE should - OUR family NEEDS carbs. Her suggestion? She thinks that he should eat some tortilla chips. Now, we all know that is just plain stupid. What is even more idiotic is that she thinks he failed his band because he ate the wrong things ie: nachos, etc. If she thinks his band failed because of nachos then why the hell is she pushing for him to eat tortilla chips on an unhealed VSG?! Makes no sense!!! My reply to her was that things have probably changed alot since she got banded 6 years ago and with this type of surgery the focus is on protein. Carbs can come later if he can handle them. Part of the reason she is so worried is that he is not putting in a full day at work. He works for his parents farming and ranching and much of it is hard physical labor. He does not have the energy for all of that yet and she doesn't think that's normal. I told her that some folks don't feel human for a month or two afterwards. She just doesn't get it. I thought about printing out info for her so she'd understand what's going on but she told me that she doesn't want to know anything about the sleeve - she can't understand why anyone would have that type of surgery. She worships the band and yet has esophogeal damage from frequent PB'ing (aka: vomiting - call it what it is people!!!) and doesn't think it has anything to do with the band. Grrrr....I get so annoyed with ignorance like that!

Okay, got it off my chest - vent/rant over.

Wow, don't blame you for venting. MIL sounds a little batty. All I can suggest is every single time she makes a suggestion, say "my husband is following his doctor's instructions very carefully and what you have suggested is not part of the orders" repeat ad nauseum until she realizes she will get no other reaction. And gosh, if hubby does physical labor, he does need a good month or more away from it. Again, say its doctors orders. GL and let us know how its going.  Diane

Sounds like you have to set some boundaries and make certain topics off limits. I'd tell her that you'll give her the number of her husband's doctor and she can express her concerns to him since that's whose orders dh is following. That should get her to leave you alone...

I'd have to ditto both of the ladies above. Sounds like my MIL and she's always questioning things I do as well. Ugh..

I'm so happy for both you and your hubby,  I know he will do great with you there to direct him in the right direction.  I'm so sorry about you MIL,  i guess everyone can't be the great MIL i am  LOL   you've gotten great advice,  Just keep doing what you know is right and he who laughs last  laughs the loudest.   Congrats to you both :o) jeani

If her band ever fails, she'll suddently become more interested in the sleeve.  She sounds like she's threatened by the sleeve.  Has she been successful with the band, and if so, are you having more success with the sleeve and she's jealous? 

Sounds like a monster in law instead of mother in law.  lol

haha...monster in law...yeah...that is what I call her (in my mind anyway).

She told me that it took her two years to lose what I've lost in one year so you may be right about the jealousy issue. I think she doesn't like to admit that the band is not all its cracked up to be. She is the type to jump in the water before checking how deep it is....in other words - she never once researched anything about any type of WLS. She heard about the band on a Friday and was down in MX the very next Monday for surgery. I researched the hell out of all options and that is actually something that bugs her about me. She told me that SHE would never waste her time on this site. Whatever. I just think to myself - go ahead - be stupid and oblivious - its your life. When I told my husband she said that he laughed and said yeah and that is why she ended up seeing a psychiatrist. Wow...that says alot right there.

Geez, what a dodo. Good thing there are people in your family with some sense (you and hubby). GL and hang in there.  Diane

You MIL sounds like a nut!!  Good thing she doesn't live with you!  It sounds like you have alot of patience with her which is really nice.  Have nothing to say really..just wanted to give you some support for having such a nut for a MIL.  (you can't pick your relatives can you??)

Patty

LOL...thanks for the support...mucho appreciated! Yeah its a good thing I'm a patient person! I am my husband's third wife and from what I've heard the other two couldn't hack it with her. We used to live directly behind their house and she could see into our windows at night. She had a tree chopped down once because it blocked her view....the only thing that tree blocked was our bedroom window. Thank God we don't live so close anymore!