Could use your honest input on this. A bit long.

Thank you, that means a great deal to me.  You have seen me in my new bikini and I thought it looked decent on me.  I still don't know if I will have the guts to wear it to the pool this Summer, but I just might do it.  I wonder if my Mom is talking about my face more than my body, but since I can't just gain in my face, I think you are probably right.

Umm.. I never know how much to say on here because we talk IRL and I don't want to share things not meant to be shared.  But since you brought up the BIKINI...umm.. you look more than "DECENT".  You look flipping amazing! 

You look like a pin-up model and you don't look like you have EVER been overweight in your life.  Your face does not look to gaunt either.  I think your mom may worry that you will lose more (which you don't need to do) and then sees you eating more, and maybe worries you will gain.

Maybe she's worried you are a little disordered with your eating?  Either way, you look amazing, and I think you have a very healthy outlook on your weight.  I have always appreciated about you that you really don't take your weight for granted and work very hard at it. 

To me that shows that you really earned it, perhaps more than some who can eat anything they want after VSG.  I really relate to that because I have to be strict too.  So like I said, I think your mom was just worried that you will gain/lose, and that is where her conflicting statements came from. 

You don't need to do either.  If you lose anymore you will be too thin, and if you gain any more it will really show on your frame and you will be very unhappy.  So I agree with Lizanne 100%... hold the line here as long as you are able.  

Okay, here goes. I debated whether to answer or not, but... On this site I doubt anyone else will tell you an opinion if it isn't nice... So I will play ***** To *my* eyes, you do look too thin. It really is a preference thing. Yo do not look sickly or emaciated, just thinner than what I personally find attractive. The thing is, I know I probably look too chubby to some people.. That is ok. As long as you are healthy, you should aim to get to and stay at whatever weight you are most physically AND mentally comfortable with. It is not about what anyone thinks of your weight but you... Kwim? Moms can be such a head trip, seriously...

You are not being unkind.  I asked for an honest opinion and I respect the kind and gentle way you told me the truth as you see it.  Which is EXACTLY what I am asking for.  Thank you.  I am very conflicted about this as I know my mother has my best intentions at heart.  This is an absolute cornerstone in my relationship with her.  That is why I was willing to make myself vulnerable and ask for outside opinions.  I know she is not lying or trying to hurt me.  I wish I could just have a more a more realistic view of my body.  I wish my eyes didn't deceive me as much as they still do.  My Mom is a head trip, but she is also honest with me.  You are not playing the "*****", you are being very real, that's what good friends do for each other. 

I understand the mom thing. My mom went through a short period when she gently prodded me to lose more weight, because she thought I shouldn't be done yet. Eventually I had to tell her that *I* and my hubby both like the weight that I am, and that although I knew she was only thinking of what was best for me, it had to stop. She respected that request. By the same token, I think if I lost maybe 15 more pounds she would tip in the other direction, lol.. Can't please everyone, you know? It is hard enough pleasing yourself!

Fawn - you are not chubby at all.

Why thank you, Mandykins... I have gotten PMs that have told me that I was still too chubby to try and be the VSG poster girl (as if that were my intent- ha!) and that my "bad habits" were the reason why.. So not everyone shares your opinion... Obviously I prefer yours though! Lmao.

*On this site I doubt anyone else will tell you an opinion if it isn't nice... *

That's a lot of how the LW board is, but I do not think this board like that.

Or maybe I am just talking about *me* :} 

And I think the whole preference thing is funny to.  I see a lot of chicks in mags, or even fitness chicks and I think, meh.. they are lovely, but they just look like thin chicks.

I want to be and look STRONG.  I think that is amazing and beautiful.  And I know, lotsa folks do not dig it.. but *meh*

I gotta live in my body.  I need to be as comfortable as I can in it!

I know we all want to be honest and up front with one other, but there are socially acceptable things to say, and social acceptable times to be silent- especially when you want people to continue to be your friend. I don't ness think it applies to everyone, and I agree that you are honest, but most people IMO sugar coat things. I think, for the most part, we could all purposefully post the most awful pics we could muster of ourselves and would still get nothing but compliments.. I love your perspective, and I am glad you have it.

This is going to sound really hypocritcal coming from me because I have my own body image issues and also have VERY hard time telling if I'm thin or fat...I understand how it is....(though my body image issues right now are related to loose skin)

I don't know about you being too thin, but I do think your self-esteem is hinged on a number on the scale. After reading your posts for so long, I know you are terrified of gaining your weight back, but it's almost as if you think you are a better person the less you weigh (not better than other people, just better than you are when you are heavier). Does that make sense? I think if you were 6 lbs heavier you would still look great and you would still be the same kind caring person that you are now and everyone in your life will love you the same. But then again, after losing so much weight, 6 lbs is like nothing to me. I'm also a lot taller than you so I'm trying to keep that in mind.

I was looking too thin for a while there and people kept telling me to bulk. I mean, I usually post photos where I look all muscle-y because I'm flexing and stuff, but I'm almost 5'9" and wear a jeans size 6 and some 4s. That's pretty small for my height. But I still see fat everywhere, even though I have plenty of photos where I look really thin (though a lot less now that I intentionally gained a few pounds back, yay).

Anyway, my goal is to never look thin or skinny - it's to look healthy and athletic and like I work-out. I actually prefer when I look a little thicker, just not fatter. One thing I've had to do is let go of a random ideal weight I've had in my head for so long and go by the mirror and my body composition.

Now, all of that said, I have no opinion whatsoever on whether you should gain weight or not. That's a personal choice. I'd only say you should gain weight if I thought you were anorexic and I don't think that. =)

Also, keep in mind that "too thin" is really just a matter of opinion (as long as you are stil healthy). Some people might think you look too thin, others might think you look just right.