Hard times... (long)

Thank you Amalia.. I appreciate it.

I've got nothing but hugs for you, sounds like you are doing all the right things. I guess I could add make sure the herb is good quality, but don't feel bad if you end up adding an prescription - those SSRIs can really really help!

Thank you.. I will definitely look into the SSRI if things get any worse.

Wow! You are really going through so much. I can only comment on the divorce thingie. Initially after my breakup I was numb, during the divorce I started to regain feeling. Months later I started coming back to being myself again. Sadly only time will heal you. Now I have a wonderful man in my life who I'm having a great time with. Didn't think it would happen but it did.

Chin up! Sending you huge hugs!

Thank you.. it's so good to hear there was a rainbow on the other side of the storm for you.. maybe there will be one for me too.

Sublimate, I'm sending buckets of hugs your way.  If you're up in the Oakland area, I'll walk with you for hours and then we can relax in the pool and sauna.  Come on up if you need a break from your environment.

WLS puts us through so many changes, even if life is as perfect or close to normal as possible.  Juggling your family, school and now this divorce is more than even the most well balanced person can handle.  Kudos for getting out of bed and standing up on your own two feet.  Asking for help is the sign of a "well" person so you go girl.  I'm so glad you felt safe to post what's going on for you.

When it comes to divorce, the only advice that I have is to know that they only things that you need to walk away with are your dignity and self-respect.  Everything else are just things and are replaceable.  I know that you're a loving mom, so that doesn't even need to be mentioned.

hugs and more hugs as you make your transitions

Thank you for the hugs!  Yes, it is definitely hard to have all of these changes going on in my life.  My normal m/o is to try and hang on to control with this sort of thing.. it is bizarre to just let things go but really a lesson I needed to learn.  I think I will really have this down by the time I get through this.

I really have wanted to share on here in the past but I couldn't do it at the time.  I know some of you folks IRL but honestly feel as if I know most of you that way.  This is a great group of folks and I feel blessed to be part of this community and have the support here. Thank you...

I am sending big hugs your way.  Just know this is a safe place to come and vent, cry, whatever.  There will always be someone here who understands.

I was married for 25 years when I divorced.  The only thing I could think about at the time was my son.  I did not want him to feel the strain of our relationship so I never said anything negative about his father or our marriage.  Can't say the same for my ex.  He has always wanted to play the victim even though he was the one having the affair.  My only advise is to put your son first when it comes to emotions.  He needs a safe harbor and Mom is going to be it regardless.  I did my crying in the shower after he was in bed.  Works wonders for the nerves.

Someone had mentioned EFFEXOR.  My advise is to stay as far away from it as possible.  I am on week 2 of coming off it and it has been very difficult.  Google it on the side effects and the withdrawal symptoms.  I only wish I had before I started taking it.  Yes, it is a wonder drug as far as emotions go...you are so level, nothing bothers you but it damages your body and is very hard to come off the dosage.  I would recommend staying on something more natural.

I know it is hard with all you have been through this past year and continue to go through but your faith, dignity and self respect will get you through this.

Blessings.....Dee

Thank you so much Dee.  That is the incredibly hard part, when they won't acknowledge the bad things they've done.  I've pretty much come to expect that he won't acknowledge those things but it still hurts.  I already see the blame game starting and I'm doing what I can on my end to deflect and ignore it.    When you are depressed and angry it's hard. 

I'm sorry to hear you had a bad experience with Effexor.  This is my fear, that some people have bad experiences with some drugs while others have good experiences.  It seems like a crap shoot, and I'm afraid to have to deal with bad side effects in case the gamble doesn't pay off.

Which is why I'm hoping the natural stuff will tide me over.  I'm also very clear that I'm depressed and doing all sorts of other natural things to combat it, so I hope that the other things will help me and that I won't have to go on the drugs which to me is a last resort.  Thank you for sharing your experience.

Your plate is VERY full right now....Take each day one day at a time.  I am so sorry things are so hard.  A divorce even in the best of cir****tances is not easy...remember I have been there too.  I would be happy to talk anytime to you.  Maybe one weekend we can meet some where and go for a nice long walk and talk!  I would love to help if I can.
     Have you ever considered going on an antidepressant?  I did when I was going through a very rough time with my family and it made all the difference.  In fact even though I feel good now, I am still on it...no side effects , I am just afraid to go off of it.  Think about it.
   I have also learned something the hard way...not taking care of myself makes things worse and makes me feel worse. I always think of the airline speach when they talk about wearing the oxygen masks if the plane goes down..and they tell you to put yours on first so then you can help others.  And hard times are like that too....we need to take care of ourselves so that we can be there for others...like our children.  I know it is hard during these time...but think about that.  The visual is very motivating to me. 
   The other thing that helps alot...is couseling...you might want to think about that.  It helped me alot too.
   Sorry no magic words...but a BIG hug sent to you and please know I really mean it when I say I would be happy to meet up and let's talk.  hang in there.

OX
Patty