Hard times... (long)

Can't offer much except a (((hug))))!

You are a strong, smart woman and  you have weathered many storms to get here. I'm sure you will weather this one!

Thank you.. hugs are appreciated!

I'm sorry that life is overwhelming you right now; you've got a lot going on in your life. Maybe you can cut back on some of the things that aren't required and focus on the important parts ....mainly you and your son. You're a smart woman to use friends for support and strength.

I can only offer some hugs and suggest that you give yourself a pass for now. Don;t worry too much about losing weight. Just focus on maintaining until things settle down and you feel more in control. Hugs.

Thanks so much Birdie!  I'm so glad school is out for now, and I just have to keep working and my job isn't a very stressful one.  I only have one son and he's a pretty happy, easy to care for child so that helps too.  My husband and I have decided to divorce amicably. 

He's moved into the guest bedroom and we are going to slowly and with agreements work on untangling our lives and finances and separating things out.  We will file the papers soon and then start working on selling our house. 

It's a good thing we have lots of practice living as roommates and co-parenting our son! It's not that different than usual, but weird to think of all the changes that are coming down the pipe.

I do sometimes feel embarrassed that I'm not doing better with the weight loss.  Some people on here know what I've been going through so they understand.  I feel like I want to tell everyone.. hey I'm going through a lot right now, cut me some slack.

 I've done the amicable divorce thing ... if you want someone to talk to about that ...
Was married for 20 years and have been divorced for 3 years.

My advice is try to get through the divorce without using anger ( it only makes it harder for you)
I had a real hard time concentrating ... so, if its possible to not take any classes besides the one you have to finish, that's what I would do.

Thank you for your kind offer. I will take you up on it as I need all the support I can get right now.  The hard part is I am depressed and it is manifesting as anger, but it's been much less the past few days with the continued St. John's wort.  I know how damaging the anger could be so I'm trying to keep a lid on it.

I don have a lot of advice, but I wanted to send you hugs! I am I the middle of my PhD too, and last weekend I had a meltdown.. My hubby and I went through a rough patch- and he seriously refuses to tend to his health also- so I feel you on so many levels.. Jus know that it will all get better. Sometimes I just snuggle with my kids and smell their hair.. And it centers me. It's the little things that you can grip onto and propel yourself forward.. Big hugs, and kudos for admitting you may need help.. You are a strong woman.

Thank you so much Fawn.  I hope your husband makes some progress with his health.  It is so hard to watch someone else destroying themselves, and even more so when you work so hard to improve yourself. Maybe remind him (if you haven't) that he is a role model to his kids.

I feel you on the snuggling with kids.  My son has been sleeping in my bed a lot lately, and it is good to have my motivation for life so nearby.  Thank you for the hugs and good wishes.

Sublimate

I hope its a relief for you to be able to express some of this as I know its been weighing on you. Like I said before - enough drama for three reality shows. I really hope the divorce will be civil for the sake of all and especially your son. You must be just plain worn out right now and no wonder you sleep a lot - you probably need it.

You know my number and I am happy to chat any time - evenings when husband is watching exploding aliens are best.  And I can share my own experience with depression and anxiety and the medication(s) that I used and which helped enormously. They also help with overeating by getting rid of some of those creepy feelings that make you overeat. Even a low dose for a short period of time can do wonders so don't hesitate if these feelings go on. No use suffering and there are a wide variety of effective medicines. So call and we'tt talk.

Of course you know the main thing is your son and making the best of things for him at this time and while that may be difficult, it will give you a sense of purpose and need and thats important. And I think its fine for you to just try to hold the line with your weight loss program and not obsess about not losing weight every week. You can pick it up again soon enough. I think part of my weight issues were related to depression and I am not sure which came first but I do believe that treating depression puts you in a frame of mind where you don't seek food as comfort.

So good for you for feeling comfortable enough to share this and draw some strength from all of us here. You have helped so many people so much here that its your turn to accept some help and a little tlc from us. All the best. Diane

Thank you Diane.  Yes, it does feel like a relief to be able to let out some of what I feel inside.  So far things are going well on the divorce front; he has moved into the guest room and we are considering ourselves separated, even though we still will live together for practical reasons while we transition to our separate lives.

The minute I got finished with the school term I just pretty much collapsed emotionally.  Started going to bed at 9pm and have ever since.  I will definitely take you up on the offer of chatting as it really does help for me to share my feelings with others.  I'm glad to know you can offer personal experience with depression meds as I would like to learn more about those and would like to hear about personal experiences.

It is hard to be stuck on the weight thing but also hard to work on too.  It's a catch 22.. because the weight loss gave me good feelings of accomplishment but the focus on it right now is more energy than I can spare.  So I have to have the mindset that maintaining during this time IS an accomplishment.. that's hard but maybe good practice.

Thank you so much Diane and it means a lot to me that you have been there for me and understood what I have been feeling.  Hugs...