Angry with myself

I learned yesterday that I still need my CPAP machine despite having lost quite a bit of weight.  I stopped using it a few months ago because I thought I had lost enough weight to ditch it.  Then my gallbladder started acting up. My gallbladder problems coincided with stopping the CPAP.  So I blamed ALL my feelings of ill health and fatigue on my gallbladder.  Here I am 6 weeks past the gallbladder surgery and I still feel horrible.  So, yesterday I started really wondering why I felt so bad.  I was a little depressed because I want to start working out in the gym, but had zero energy.  The night before last I walked a couple of miles, intending to walk 3, but became overwhelmed with fatigue and exhaustion at 2 miles.  I had to call my husband to come and get me.  I've never in my life had to do that.  I was miffed, and sad about it.  WTH?????

So yesterday, I got to really thinking about it, going through all the reasons why I could feel so bad.  Then it dawned on me.  Maybe I should be looking at conditions that I have actually been diagnosed with that cause fatigue....sleep apnea is that condition!  I had stopped using my CPAP machine because I "thought" I had lost enough weight to cure it, and was sleeping through the night without it.  Before weight loss, I woke up all night from snoring. I figured there was only one way to find out.  Last night I strapped that CPAP mask onto my face and fired it up.  I had been so happy about not using it anymore......sigh......but I had to know, since I had been diagnosed with 2 types of Apnea, obstructive and Hypoapnea.

This morning I woke up for the first time in forever, all bright eyed and bushy tailed and full of energy and ambition.  Also, I had put a memory card in the CPAP machine so I could get a reading of my sleep.  It said that I had and AHI of 1.5.  Which means that I had shallow breathing incidents, and the machine caught all of them except for 1.5.  In other words, I still have hypoapnea (shallow breathing), maybe not obstructive anymore, but definitely hypoapnea.  I'm sleeping all night and there are no reports from my husband of snoring, but I am breathing shallow....so, either I am on the CPAP for life, or I need to lose more weight.  Incidentally, my weight loss has significantly slowed down since stopping the CPAP.  Sleep Apnea screws up your metabolism and causes weight gain.  I really screwed up.  hind sight is 20-20.   I have a feeling I would be at goal if I had never stopped using the CPAP.  I won't stop it again until I get another sleep study and am told I have no sleep apnea.  Kicking myself.........arrrrggggg  Wish I had been able to put two and two together sooner. 

I should Xpost this in the main forum to help prevent other CPAP peeps from making the same mistake and stopping CPAP before they know if they are truly ready to stop.

Well I don't blame you for wanting to ditch the cpap prematurely as many are motivated by that possiblility alone to get wls. But at least you figured it out. You have a few more pounds to goal and you may get rid of it yet but just take your time. My husband has a self titrating unit that is great and keeps data like yours and it is a godsend for him. He has 3 sisters and they all have them too. I guess its neurological in addition to weight related. Hope you are feeling more energized soon. Not sleeping well has been linked to weight gain as you know so get that mask back on and snooze safely. So glad you shared this lesson.  Diane

Thanks Diane.  You are right, there are a lot more conditions and problems associated with sleep apnea besides  being overweight.  I can get use to it again.  And crossing fingers that maybe someday I won't need it, but I'm not counting on it.  I feel like this is for life at this point.  If I am right, I won't be disapointed, if I am wrong, I'll be elated.

My DH has sleep apnea and he hates his CPAP so much that he had surgery to correct the obstruction.  He was never heavy until recently, so Diane's right- it's not always associated to weight.  Hope yours resolves itself with your remaining weight!  Cheer up!

If weight doesn't fix it and a surgery does...I would do it in a heartbeat as well.  Good for your husband!!!!  I did get use to it before, I know I can again....still sucks though (pardon my language)

Hopefully when you get better sleep you will not be so hungry and carb cravy.

Working midnight shift was TERRIBLE for me for hunger, carb cravings, and the Elll Beee Ezzz.

Boo.


Good job sleuthing it out girlie!!  I am proud on you!

Thank you!

Yep BL...it all makes sense now, it's crystal clear.  The fatigue, the exhaustion, the carby hunger, the lack of good weight loss.  Why is hind site 20-20?????

Yes, the night shift really messes up our bodies.  I worked the nightshift for years.  It's brutal!!!

Don't be mad at yourself.. you didn't do it on purpose. Sometimes we make mistakes.. we are human. I'm glad you figured out what was going on, and who could blame you for wanting to ditch it? I hope you are able to ditch it for good soon! Hugs...

Thank you, me too!!!!  I posted this on the main board and 2-3 new people who had stopped using their CPAP machines are planning on using them tonight after reading my post.  I'm so happy about that.  So happy!!!!  I was hoping it would help someone out there.

so you did TOO good things - you fixed your problem and you helped others. good on ya!!