Do you have a handle on how you really look?

I don't get why you're looking for validation on a message board to begin with. You're putting yourself through it, and essentially engaging in behavior that is obviously painful on your vulnerable self-esteem/self-worth. Sorry, but I'll ditto everything else that Elina said. I know that sounds harsh, but the part of your post that really resonated with me wasn't about how you saw yourself, you've admitted to this before, but the fact that you're bummed over what some DB stranger rated you on a message board.

It did take my brain a bit to catch up with my body. I have had "fat days" until recently with the pregnancy. I do hope your brain and heart will let you see what we all here see. There's just an irrational thought process going on, and maybe I'm just too logical to ever see my ass huge again considering I wear a small panty from VS, and I used to have to wear a size 10 Just my Size panty. I just don't see how it's not apparent. I did not ever think I was "huge" as I was until I lost a significant amount of weight, and did some side-by-side shots. But, it wasn't like I thought I was size 10, I saw myself still plus sized, just not super morbidly obese with a BMI of 50.

As for how I see myself, I see myself as a size 2 chick with excess skin, saggy boobs, a huge baby bump, saggy ass cheeks, but I love myself more today with all that is "wrong" with me by definition of the rest of the world. I love myself, my husband and son love me, we are living a comfortable life, I have gained my health, and a renewed sense of "living this life" that I was missing out on at 270lbs. I'm not sure I'd allow anyone to steal that joy from me because they didn't think I was a 10.