Do you have a handle on how you really look?

Not really...I still can't believe my pants will go up as I step into them every day. 

By the way...you're gorgeous...f*** that guy!  He's probably comparing you to some roider chick...yuck!  Natural all the way baby!!

Laura

Thanks for all of the responses! I posted and then went to play with my kids and lay out and now i'm sunburned.lol  It's summer already!

I think maybe naturally thin people might go through this, too. Except they don't have to deal with skin issues like most of us do.

As far as not focusing on how I look...well, I bodybuild so I'm constantly inspecting my muscles. lol Plus I've always been that way. Very girly and primpy. I like dressing up, going out on the town, and looking as smoking hot as I possibly can. Let's face it, I don't have very many good years left. har har

I have a mental image of myself that hasn't really changed. I used to think I was smaller than I am but now I think I'm bigger than I am. I'm usually pretty good at picking out clothes on the rack that fit though so I guess at least one part of my brain knows what size I really am.

Ok I have not been on the boards too much in a while so pardon if I ask this, "IS THAT YOUE REAL PICTURE??????"  OMG if it is that guy SOOOOO needs to get his eyes checked!  I only wish I had that body!

As for seeing your self as you really are, that depends in my case.  I like how I look in pictures but when I look in the mirror I still feel fat sometimes.  I am a solid 4 and sometimes a 2 but I still feel like the 200 plus person I was 3 years ago when I am looking in the mirror many times.  I actually bought shorts for the first time in 10 years yesterday, not capris, not walking shorts, but rel shorts.  I am happy but it is still a process.  I think years of being overweight taught us not to trus the mirror so why should we now is how our brain thinks.  All that being said, dont worry about a man who is only interested in rating women he meets on a 10 scale based on the outside, really if he is that shallow it is good that you have weeded him out allready.  No matter how fit or fat it really is the inside that counts.  Like my mom says "Beauty is skin deep but Ugly is to the bone!"

 The men at work notice me constantly now, so that's a boost. I recently had to swich seats to somewhere far away from my co-worker who is hot. We had been mildy flirtatious for 3 months (I'm married - hubby knows). When I was leaving I said "Are you going to be sad?" He said, "I'm gonna miss lookin at ya!" I said "ditto!" 

Well things like that make me feel good, and my male friends are telling me I'm a hottie now. And I get random compliments from men. I guess for me that validation from men was always missing in my life, as unfeminist as that sounds lol... But my husband has loved me through thick and thin :)

But then when I'm lookign in the mirror I do feel like my belly is still huge. So I know what you mean.

Nope, I do not have a handle on it either.  Last month i bought a shirt from the Goodwill store .......in size 3X!!!!  I wear a size women's Large/Medium, yet when I looked at this shirt, my brain said "ignore the size" it looks like it will fit perfectly.  I bought it without trying it on.  It was a tent on me.   My daughter's harassed/chastised me about it for days.  They couldn't believe that I thought the shirt would fit me.  They are 11 and 13 years old.  They also spent days constantly telling me, or trying to convince me that I had lost a lot of weight.  They were wrapping their arms around me showing me how easy it is for them now.  It was cute.  I'm not sure if it was healthy for them to witness it..but it happened.  When I got home from the store I was so excited about this shirt.  I loved it.  It was from Lane Bryant, a white puffy shirt (think Seinfeld).  When I held it up to show them, they both started chastising me about how big it was and how it was going to be a tent on me....the 13 year old actually rolled her eyes....LOL

Yet, when I was at my highest weight I did not think I was very obese.  I did not even believe pictures that told the truth.  Total denial!!!

P.S.  That Jack wagon from the other board needs to be ***** slapped.....you're an 11 out of 10 miss hottie!!!!

I am not totally on board yet with the new me either. I know that I wear smaller clothes now but when I look in the mirror, I still see the same heavy me. I see these cute little jeans and shorts in my closet and one day think they look so small no WAY will I fit into them and on other days I think the same jeans and shorts look huge. I just bought 2 t-shirts from Goodwill. I thought I was buying them in mediums but realized when I went to wash them they were smalls. I was so disappointed that the $2 bum- around- the- house- t-shirts I bought were going to be too small! My daughter insisted I try them on anyway. Lo and behold, I was able to get both of them over my punkin-head and on my bod. I said 'See? They're too tight!' My daughter's response was 'No, they fit just fine-you're just not used to clothes actually fitting your body.' I guess this is something I will need to continue to work on. Based on the responses here, I'm guessing it may take a while before I start to see myself the way others do.
Good luck and that Jackwagon from the other board? Screw 'em! LOL Enjoy the fruits of all of your hard work. You look fabulous and I want to be YOU when I grow up.

I would also just say, if you have not already - disable the freaking comments and rating ability on your blog/profile/thing there.  If somebody's middling rating is going to bum you out, then do not give them that option.

We will not always be everybody's 10, or even high ranking.  Hell, not even to the people who love us and know us best.

Probably because they know us though, huh. Ha! 

Have a few more thoughts on this thread. One minimal advantage to having been a fat child and being overweight pretty much my entire life is that I figured out long ago I was going to have to make my way in the world on my brains and accomplishments  and not on my looks and that I was going to have to get beyond the insults and negative reactions to me based on weight. Well it wasn't easy and if I could go back in time and change all that I would. But I did learn some valuable lessons about focusing on other things rather than how others rate my body or how they percieve it. My body now is slim and though saggy and of an "over the hill" age, I am content with it as its healthy and nimble and I can do so many things I couldn't do at 247 lbs. 

So I guess what I am saying is its helpful to enjoy and celebrate whats good about my physical self and ignor the rest. I realize that if one's passion is body building that this may not be a totally satisfactory approach as ones goal is reaching levels of physical improvement. But these could be reaching strengh levels and ability to perform certain lifts and such and less on being rated by others. Ultimately our body love and satisfaction must come from within.  I wish girls and young women would learn this lesson early in life.

Anyway, hope you have moved beyond the rating jerk by now.   Diane

 Well I'm still not near goal, but then again I couldn't really tell you where that is because, as you're bringing up, I have not real concept of my size.

I take a picture of myself in almost any outfit because I don't trust mirrors.  Of course I can hardly trust the camera either.  

When I was 277 I think I saw myself as far thinner.  More like 225 or something.  50 pounds difference and I convinced myself I looked that way.  Now I think I see myself a lot larger than I am.  I don't know which perspective to trust.  277 me thought someone in size 8/10 was really thin.  Now I'm like wow I totally need to go to 4, maybe 2.  

The most disconcerting thing is I have no feeling for my size as compared to others.  I'll look at gorgeous, thin girls and sometimes wonder if I'm this huge giant monster.  But I realize I'm not that much different.  

Before surgery, I never could understand why post ops made such a big deal about thinking they were bigger.  So what you think you're still 277--I AM I would think to myself.  But it's eerie to not have any concept of the body you live in!