Do you have a handle on how you really look?

Hey y'all!

Just wondering if everyone who is at or is close to goal feels like they are in tune with how they actually look.

I still have days where I might as well still be 274 lbs, and then I have days where I think I look thinner than I probably am. lol

Does that make sense? I'm still not totally used to my size. I wear size small Victoria's Secret underwear, but I could swear my butt is just as big as when I was obese.

Actually, when I was big I rarely saw myself as big. Maybe that's why I worry so much about it now. I'm used to years and years of denial and I want to make sure I keep my grip on reality.

I'm in a sad mood today. Some guy on another message board rated me a 6/10 and told me I still have a long way to go. :(

Well this is an issue for lots of us. I look in the mirror and feel pretty good about what I see for a 59 year old former fatty. But then I see a photo and boy do those wrinkles jump out. Being older I don't worry so much about looking like a babe anymore as no one has whistled at me in years and I have a dear husband who loves me fat or thin. And while its fun to fit into skinny clothes, the dressing room at stores is still a nightmare because the green florescent light just makes all the sags look worse. Don't think I will ever enjoy trying on clothes. And there is no two piece bathing suit in my future.

So it took us a year or so to lose our weight and may take longer to adjust attitude. Meanwhile, why put yourself on a social network site where people rate your physical appearance? Seems like just a set up for bad feelings. Bet that dickweed who rated you is himself about a 2.

Why not focus on things that make you feel good about your looks as you certainly have a lot to be proud about? Better yet, focus on stuff in life that has nothing to do with personal appearance but that brings joy in other things. Why not make a little diary and everyday write down something that you like about your looks or your health or your weight loss that you like so you can refocus on the positive?

We all have those "oops" moments where we start to do or not do something that is a vestigal remain from our fat days like reaching for a large size or assuming we can't do some thing. But as time goes by they are less and less. Bet time helps you too.  Diane

If you are a 6/10 i'll be happy with a 3. You look amazing don't let some doucher get you down. I never thought of myself as obese when I was, I would look at pics and think, "What an awful picture of me." when it was actually what I looked like.

I KNOW I look differently, slimmer, healthier etc - I can see it in the mirror and people comment on it. But I still choose larger clothes when I go shopping and have to get them changed !

If you asked me to put myself in a line up of women from small to large - I'd still go towards the large end.

I guess it takes a while for our heads to catch up with our body changes.

Equally - I saw a guy really checking me out yesterday, he was really eyeing me up to the point that he was looking over his shoulder back at me - and I felt a bit uncomfortable with the new attention - it kind of freaked me out a bit - guess it will take me a while to get used to that too !

I believe I have a grip on the how I look/size I am.  I have 2 mirrors here on the floor/wall in the office, for when I yoga/light lift for checking form and for seeing if the dogs are at the door (that is behind/beside me without turning around), so I end up seeing me from the waist down when I leave or enter the office - so its not a surprise for me.  I see my torso down more than I see my face, even if its in my periphery.

When I *feel* fat its typically something else happening, hormones, a situation I cant control and my kneejerk reaction is to pick at me, and I nip that **** in the bud.  No room for bull****  What is true is true.  What is bull**** needs to move along. 

I also give other folks very little power over how I feel about me.  Nobody's opine of me makes me better/worse/different than I *really* am.  I was a chameleon for far too long in my teens/young 20s and all it did was shred me up and leave me a target for freaks who smell someone who is easy to manipulate. 

You know who you are, and you know how far you have come.  Dude only is looking at you with his eyes, he doesnt have a clue about your experience. 

Setting yourself up for rating is kinda masochistic girlie!!  Most bodybuilding folks, especially young men, are only going to look with their eyes and not ask about the backstory.  He only is who he is and judging from a place of not having a clue.

Edit to add - I am ALWAYS thicker in pictures than I am in real life, always have been.  Even fella says so, and he doesnt have any weird body dysmorphia, so, that may or may not be true about you.  *shrug*

be sweet.

Why are you listening to what some jackoff on a message board says?  Whether it's guys foaming at the mouth for you on here(to which I plead guilty) or someone ripping you somewhere else... YOU gotta be happy with YOU.

I get it.  I look in the mirror and I still see my belly and my skin, and I can't tell that I've lost a single pound.  I look at pictures though, and I think... "Damn, buddy!  You lookin' good!"  I have women on here PM me and tell me how good I look or make a comment when I post a photo... and I reli**** I really do.  Then I go out to a bar and can't get a 2nd look from a somewhat attractive member of the female species.

It's a mindfuck.

Girl.. Why are you letting some ******** stranger assign a numerical value to you? You are so much better than that in general. As for your question, I am all kinds of ****** up. I vacillate between thinking I am skinny and fat- when in reality I am niether.. Just blissfully normal... Most of the time I just mentally remind myself to get over it all and be happy that I have my (relative) youth and health, and a hubbynwho thinks I am gods gift to him alone... Kwim?

Girlfriend, I mean this with love in my heart, what are you thinking putting yourself on some site to be rated by looks?  Just stop and think about it for a minute.  Your focus on physical beauty is understandable after all you have been through to get here, but speaking as a former fatty myself, you really need a new hobby.  I apologize if this sounds harsh, but my only desire here is to get you to stop hurting yourself.  You are intelligent, thoughtful, kind and beautiful.  People will always judge you but only you can make yourself feel horrible about yourself.  Repeat after me, "I am gorgeous, inside and out.  I love my new body and I am committed to finding peace within".  Take a deep breath. 

As for me, I am really in love with the way I look now.  I know this sounds horrible, but it's the truth.  I love being tiny, dainty and curvaceous. I love the male attention and I really love shopping.  I am older than you, so aging is becoming an enemy for me.  I am not looking forward to losing what I worked so hard to get.  I am fighting it every step of the way.  I am going through a whole Renaissance in my appearance and attitude towards life.  This might be a mild case of mid life crisis as I just want to enjoy every single day to the utmost.  I go dancing almost every weekend and I hold my husband tighter than before.  I seem to be over the whole body dysmorphia thing now and have moved on to the "let's live life to the limit" stage of the game.  It's way more fun. 

I am finding that I am MORE critical of my body the smaller I get. That is, I FEEL fatter sometimes now, than I did at earlier stages of weight loss.

I also am increasingly dismayed as my breasts, in about a one week period, have deflated to the point that I have a flat chest when I am lying on my back. For someone who has always been fairly boobalicious, this is disheartening! Never mind the pool of empty thigh and stomach flesh that arranges itself around my body when I lie down...

Being in tune with, aware of, at peace with, and loving towards my physical self is an ongoing process!

Mandy - I say this in complete seriousness - you are a beautiful, fit and strong woman. If you are on boards where people are rating one another in ugly ways, such as the example you provided, I think you need to get off of these boards. That is a unkind, untruthful and frankly disgusting way for people to interact with one another. It sets up a dynamic where no matter how many people may think you are a "10", the one person who thinks you are a "6" (or a 7 or a 3 or whatever) is being given the power to rock your world. You are better than that and you deserve better than that.

Self love and self-acceptance - of the good bits, the bad bits and everything in-between - in our bodies, our hearts and in our heads.  It may be a difficult and perhaps lifelong process - but so worth it. (And you SO deserve it!)

Blessed be.

I have major self image issues! When I look in the mirror and I'm clothed, I think "I look pretty good" and today when I was working out I actually thought I looked skinny. BUT when I look at myself without clothes and see all the same curves and bulges I feel like I haven't changed at all. I know I'm smaller, yet my mind really hasn't caught up with it.