New Pet Peeve

It really bothers me when my friends and family introduce me to new people and they feel the need to tell them that I have lost over 100lbs, I jsut want to meet new people and if I feel like telling them my story I will but why do these people feel the need to put me on blast all the time?? I mean I know where I came from but does everyone I meet have to know my history?? I know that maybe they are proud of what I have accomplished or maybe they are jealous, whatever I just don't want to be reminded of my old self every time I meet someone new because of course then I have to explain the surgery to them etc.... ok enough of my rant.....

Hmm, this is an odd one. Yes your family is proud but I agree its your choice on whether to share this with new people or not. But it will keep happening unless you speak up gently to the people who do this and say "I know you are proud of my weight loss and I am too but please let me be the one who decided whether to tell about this to new people. Its my private struggle and I don't wish to be defined by it in making new friends".

If you do have a talk with these folks, let us know how it works.  Diane

Thanks Diane! You are right, i do need to talk to them, I was just ranting because I would never tell anyone about someone else's surgery unless I got their permission to do so, i just think it is odd that some people feel the need to tell others. It is much easier tellin this board my feelings than it is telling some of the people in my life, so thanks for being here for me..

 It sounds like they are just really proud of you, so keep that in mind. I bet they have no desire to hurt you at all. So yeah, I agree, just talk to them.

I think Diane's advice is great. I think we have to assume that people have the best intentions and that we have to tell them what we do and don't want.

If I don't tell them, then I can't be upset if they don't do what I wanted. Now IF I tell them, hey please don't do that, I don't like it and they do it anyway, THEN I get upset.

If it upsets you I think you just have to tell them, hey I don't really like when you do that. They might tell you their intentions were good, like they were proud of you and that was their way of bragging about you to new people.

Losing 100 pounds is a HUGE accomplishment and they might think you are proud of that and want to use that as a way of making an impression on new people. It also starts conversations too, so can be used as an ice breaker to share that information.

The big issue here is that they don't KNOW you prefer privacy because you haven't told them so it's an easy fix.  The bummer is that sometimes you don't get a chance to say what you prefer before the cat's out of the bag. 

But you can make sure this doesn't happen in the future.  I always try to be very outspoken about what I need and want so that people can respect my wishes, and I also try and ask my friends what they need and want too. 

Sometimes we goof when we guess what they want and then it's too late but I think they had your best interests at heart.  Sorry you went through this.  I've had similar situations with private information and it is never fun. Hugs...

Well, I understand where you're coming from. I have a friend that is very proud of me and I know she is but she does this to me too. I think it's her way of patting me on the back and saying way-to-go girl....and at first I did love to talk about the lbs falling off. But then something happened when I went over 100 lbs lost...it was like it then got embarrassing and I would have thoughts like "I can't believe I let myself get like that'. So anyway, now it's more embarrassing so I just told her I wanted to move on, that I was tired of talking about it. She just nodded and we went on to something else so hopefully it's over. So yes, just speak up.

Oy, that would irk me too!