Motivating emotions

that is just beautiful!  I love this like crazy. 


also "love casts out fear"

Elina, I really would love it if you would cross post this over at the VSG forum. What a wonderful, inspirational idea. I have ALWAYS used anger as a motivator and succeeded at doing my dishes, cleaning my home, etc. But I, too, feel the reason I am succeeding now is because I am so happy with the positive changes. I have thrown love into the mix. I love my weight loss, I love my new cooking habits, I love making new recipes! I still hit a stall here and there, but all in all I am the happiest I have ever been! Thank you for posting this!!

Good topic Elina! You know I chose the screen name sublimate for many reasons, but a big part of it was my desire to sublimate my feelings towards food into healthier outcomes. I have made my food choices out of love for myself for a long time.

It's why I'm willing to pay high prices for fancy cuts of meat and go out of my way to get organic veggies. It's why I invest time into setting myself up for success with planning my foods, and why I won't eat things with soy in them, even if it IS only a little bit. It's why I am so picky about what I eat.. because I know that nobody will love and care for ME as much as I do.

Because of my hunger and cravings I always had trouble controlling just how much of the healthy food I ate, but I have made healthy food choices since my son was born, more than 6 years ago. I've had a few small relapses but I've eaten healthy 99+% of the time since that time he was born, and my unconditional and all encompassing love for him inspired me to do better with the nutritional knowledge I have.

I love him more than any food on this planet, including ice cream.. and I love myself and my body more as well. My son truly changed me as a person and my views on everything in the world. It is amazing what love can do, and I love that little boy with all of my heart.. and my love for him inspired me to take better care of myself so I could be a better mother for him.

For his first birthday present I joined a gym.. I vowed that I was going to get in better shape so I could be the mother he deserved. I lost my way for a while when my mother died.. she was such an inspiration for me that my dedication wavered a bit with exercise and the portion control.. but my views on food were changed forever when I first looked at my son's face. I will forever see french fries and ice cream as anti-love for my son (and myself).. not only in not taking care of the mother he needs but in setting a bad example for him.

I know I'm kind of the odd one in how I view food, so you can feel free to preface anything I say on this topic with "for me" and know that none of it may fit you or your situation.. I'll try to explicitly do that myself. For me, I didn't have surgery to be a certain weight or size, I had it to help me be healthier.

Of course I want to lose weight and have all the other benefits of being thinner and that's a definite goal, but I truly value my health and that is where my motivation has always come from. I did not have RNY even though I was pretty sure it would make me thin.. but I did not think it would make me healthy. For me going back and forth between eating healthy foods one day and not so healthy foods another day, is not good for my health, regardless of what size I'm able to maintain or scale weight I'm able to maintain.

I see it as constantly damaging my body and then repairing it.. I don't want to do the damage to begin with. I see weight gain as a sign of my body saying that I'm feeding it unhealthy things. The weight gain is a reaction to the unhealthy foods and a sign of inflammation. For me and for my views, ice cream (or other unhealthy foods) does not nourish my body or support my health no matter what my scale says, or how I can manage it, or what rules I make and boundaries I'm able to set.

Additionally I also have accepted that for me emotionally and mentally it's not worth it to go back and forth all the time.. allowing myself a treat and then having to do all of the work to deal with a regain or return of cravings is not worth it to me. But even if I was lucky enough not to be a food addict and have to continually manage regain and cravings which requires me to be abstinent, ice cream STILL would not be good for me on any day of the week, month or year, regardless of the special occasion.

For me valuing my health comes first, and putting foods I consider unhealthy in my body regardless of the reason or what my scale says, is a non sequitur for me. I know that at times seeing things so black and white and rigid is off-putting to people.. so many say that they can never say that they are NEVER going to eat certain foods again.. it's not realistic for many people.

But I can honestly say that it is harder for me to play that game of thinking that I can be normal with certain foods, eating them, then going through long periods of regret, regain, remorse, repent, (lather, rinse, repeat). It is harder to do all that vicious cycle then it is for me to have strict boundaries with those foods in the first place. I always lost that game, so I just stopped playing it. Plus my health never won that game, even if I could make my head, the scale, and my behaviors win.

As you know I have enough trouble with food I consider "healthy" like nuts.. I don't need more trouble with food that I consider unhealthy and even MORE addictive. I'm probably beating a dead horse with my views now so I'll stop here. Hugs...

First and foremost, hugs back.  Who wouldn't love your son to the moon and back?  He is one of the most delightful little beings I have ever seen.  :)  I hear you on the back and forth of eating unhealthy things and I am still finding my way there.  I am not yet sure where I fall on the moderation in all things argument but I know that you are doing the absolute right thing for you, and I totally support you in doing it. 

Thank you Miss Elina.. I'll tell you that boy is such an inspiration to eat healthy.. he is loving his new role in eating healthy himself.  I know that my black and white thinking about food and stringent food boundaries are not for everyone.. just thought I'd share how it works for me and see if you see anything for yourself. :) It sounds awful but it really gives me a lot of peace.  Luv ya...