VSG Maintenance Group
Jealous Hubby
I am married and now have a crazy jealous hubby which is a new thing for me. I am a bit of a flirt but I have always been one. I have male friend his and mine tell me how good I look and it drives him crazy. He is somewhat overweight but it's not anything that I view as a problem. I cannot deal with the jealousy. He is asking if i have a boyfriend checking my cell phone messages and wanting to know what I'm doing or who I'm messaging on the computer. can anyone that has been here help are we doomed to fail cuz I can't handle this
God Bless & Happy Losing!!!!
I am really sorry you are going through this. I believe that you must ask your husband to go into counseling with you because if this behavior does not change, you are almost certainly going to leave him at some point. This is not something he can easily change on his own, so it is silly to ask it of him. He needs support and guidance about the root of his behavior and you will have to renegotiate your relationship with him. This is not your fault, you did nothing wrong. This is his own insecurities and he will need to fix it or he will not be able to be in any satisfying relationship. Will he see a counselor? If not, I think this is a deal breaker. I am truly sorry.
He is an Iraqi Vet. and has PTSD (BAD!) goes to counseling for that but doesn't take it seriously. I've tried to get him to go to counseling for us before and he says there is nothing wrong with him, usually blames me but i have discovered It NOT me. I do really Love him But there are thing that HAVE to change.
God Bless & Happy Losing!!!!
Blaming you is what emotional abusers do. (I know this from personal experience.)
If he is controlling (going through messages and questioning where you are all the time is controlling) and blaming you for any problems in your relationship then I would say you do need couple's counseling and, if he won't go, then you should go by yourself.
It's really, really hard when you've been in a relationship for a long time with someone who is good at manipulating emotions to break the cycle because they are so good at playing on our insecurities and making us seem that if only we would change, everything would be better. But it won't be because it's not really about you or your behavior.
If he is controlling (going through messages and questioning where you are all the time is controlling) and blaming you for any problems in your relationship then I would say you do need couple's counseling and, if he won't go, then you should go by yourself.
It's really, really hard when you've been in a relationship for a long time with someone who is good at manipulating emotions to break the cycle because they are so good at playing on our insecurities and making us seem that if only we would change, everything would be better. But it won't be because it's not really about you or your behavior.
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On May 6, 2011 at 10:54 PM Pacific Time, MacMadame wrote:
Blaming you is what emotional abusers do. (I know this from personal experience.)If he is controlling (going through messages and questioning where you are all the time is controlling) and blaming you for any problems in your relationship then I would say you do need couple's counseling and, if he won't go, then you should go by yourself.
It's really, really hard when you've been in a relationship for a long time with someone who is good at manipulating emotions to break the cycle because they are so good at playing on our insecurities and making us seem that if only we would change, everything would be better. But it won't be because it's not really about you or your behavior.
