Complete this sentence: If I didn't have a problem with food or money, other people woul

Geneen Roth Complete this sentence:
If I didn't have a problem with food or money, other people would.......

probably people would get away from me .. i wont have much friends no one to love me.. i always believed that i have to be less , do something to please people which is be less beautiful to have them accept me and to mingle in .. will hurt myself may be but then i will have food to completely forget and maybe feel better will girlfriends because they would think i am safe i wont steal their man because i am practically invisible, men wont hurt me because i despise them and i am fat they would not care for me or accept and i can imagine that i am loved i have food at the end of the day or at least every hour ......

people do not accept you if you are talented smart beautiful and good person , people like to feel that you are less than them in order for them to accept you or else they will try to crash you..

i did not want anyone to hurt me i wanted them to love me so i stayed so low that i ignored myself and my right to live a full filling life now i am paying the price .. i am alone and i am a failure at weight loss and at two years i am still struggling because i am not fighting for myself

and this is the very sick thinking of mine .. unfortunately

sure it is sick thinking - but you faced it and posted about it, that is the first step to fixing it! shine a light on it!!

the good news is that better thinking can be learned and practice and we can get better!

you are not a failure at weight loss or anything else - you are just not as far along in the journey as you want to be. accept yourself for who you are and where you are and keep moving in a better direction!



I love Geneen Roth!

and, I am alone too in a real sense. but, all love starts with self love and we can learn that.

Not sure how I would finish the sentence myself, but I can tell you that its simply not true that people do not accept you if you are smart, tallented, beautiful and good. Most people gravitate toward such  persons and you are hanging around with the wrong people if you feel you have to be less than what you can be to be accepted. Start right away finding a new club, social or hobby group, book club, sports club, charity or even church and look for new friends. And i thinks its true that to have a friend you must be one and reach out to others and learn as much about them as you can and help others. Being charitable truly helps you forget your own problems and makes you feel good for helping others.

And it looks like you have lost quite  a bit of weight so you are not a failure there. Try to find a wls support group to  go to or call in to the one that is getting started here. (see other posts on this).

Its up to you to shape the course of your life and personal satisfaction comes from withing rather than from the words of others (not that it hurts to receive complements).

So hold your head up and achieve all you can and toot your own horn and you might be pleasantly surprised by the positive reactions.

All the best to you.   Diane

If I didn't have a problem with food or money, other people would

admire me for how wonderful I am, be amazed at how much I get done and how I get incredibly wealthy by my magical ability to create ...something that is worth incredible wealth.

hmmm, no pressure! 

Still be focused on their own self interest.

Bwahahaha

It's true that  other people notice us a lot less than we notice ourselves.

If I didn't have a problem with food or money, other people would want to hang out with me so they can learn to live better, more productive lives.    I have noticed that since I lost all this weight, I have more friends not fewer.  Everyone thinks I am the "new, in chick".  It's a bit funny, I don't think I have changed much, but my husband disagrees.  He thinks people are more drawn to me now because I am more outgoing, fun and daring.  I am a lot more willing to take chances with people.  No one is turning away, they are turning to me and I like it.  If the people in your life are more interested to be around you when you are down, something is very wrong with their self-esteem.  You would need to find a new, healthier group of friends. 

I agree with Elina,  you need to find new friends that will be happy for you and supportive.   A lot of times when we are not happy with ourselves we sell ourselves short,   find some new friends.   Friends should be happy that you are doing better for yourself.   And you are a work in progress,  you're still working on it,  don't get discouraged,  Keep on making good choices  :o) jeani

...finally see what they've been missing when they judged me superficially.