VSG Envy

Hi All,

     I am 2 years and 1 month post surgery. I am 5'2', small boned and weigh 115#.  In my opinion, I look really good, I'm just small. I've always been athletic, so I have had no problems maintaining this weight. I have had to eat an average of six times a day to maintain, however.
Anyway, I met a woman a few months ago who was thinking of getting some plastics done. She was post RNY, then revised to the DS a couple of years ago. She still has her share of medical problems: hypertension, heart issues, and she is still obese.
I shared with her that I too, had had weight loss surgery, the VSG. She looked at me, immediately became hostile, and said, "I never wanted to be skinny."
I was quite taken aback because I was trying to be supportive as she was bending my ear with all her medical problems. I replied, "well, I had WLS to lose weight! "I had tried everything else, and my weight was steadily creeping up." I found that once I got my weight under control, the other medical problems I was beginning to experience resolved."
After that, I moved on. But I had to wonder, so she had an RNY, revised to the DS, put her body through all that WLS, but her goal wasn't to lose weight? I'm just so glad I chose the VSG. Anything else for me would have been overkill. And yes, I had WLS to lose weight...and me and my body are comfortable with my healthy, active 115# self!

 Ignore her!

Congratulations on being 115 pounds!  That's a Beautiful number in my book!!!

I am 5'2" and I got down to 117.8 and as of today I'm 122.  I'm trying to get back down to 118 and hopefully that beautiful number of 115. I was 2 years out on April 15th.

It's a work in progress for me! I love my sleeve!

Have a great day!

Thanks!

She is just jealous, and who could blame her?  I bet you look amazing at 115lbs.  Just keep rocking that beautiful figure of yours and smile at the haters.  No worries, life is great in size 0 jeans.  :)

Really?  A woman who is still obese, has gone through 2 weight loss surgeries, probably feels like she has to defend herself and has issues with whatever demons she fights - your ONLY response is that she is jealous?

Do you even remember that some of the folks on this VERY forum will not ever be, and do not ever care to be 115 pounds and they'd be glad to be able to move without pain or even be able to wipe their ass? 

Have you ABSOLUTELY forgotten what its like to feel judged, and to be disappointed in yourself, to feel like you have no where to turn?

Supergreat. 

Hi All,

     I am 2 years and 1 month post surgery. I am 5'2', small boned and weigh 115#.  In my opinion, I look really good, I'm just small. I've always been athletic, so I have had no problems maintaining this weight. I have had to eat an average of six times a day to maintain, however.
Anyway, I met a woman a few months ago who was thinking of getting some plastics done. She was post RNY, then revised to the DS a couple of years ago. She still has her share of medical problems: hypertension, heart issues, and she is still obese.
I shared with her that I too, had had weight loss surgery, the VSG. She looked at me, immediately became hostile, and said, "I never wanted to be skinny."
I was quite taken aback because I was trying to be supportive as she was bending my ear with all her medical problems. I replied, "well, I had WLS to lose weight! "I had tried everything else, and my weight was steadily creeping up." I found that once I got my weight under control, the other medical problems I was beginning to experience resolved."
After that, I moved on. But I had to wonder, so she had an RNY, revised to the DS, put her body through all that WLS, but her goal wasn't to lose weight? I'm just so glad I chose the VSG. Anything else for me would have been overkill. And yes, I had WLS to lose weight...and me and my body are comfortable with my healthy, active 115# self!


She said she did not get the surgery to be skinny, she did not say to not lose weight.  There's a difference. I also did not get this to be skinny.  I did this for health, so I did not have to hurt, because I knew the comorbidities were coming, so I could, finally, be satisfied with *some* food.

I wonder if she somehow felt like she had to defend herself, not necessarily from you specifically, but because she has had to, after all, look at all she did and she is still obese.

Good on you for meeting your goal.

I do not think everyone gets this for the same reasons.

I do not think everyone who does not share your similar goals is jealous.

Some folks did this to get rid of comorbidities. Some folks did this for mobility issues. Some folks did this to lighten loads on their joints so they did not have to hurt all the time.

Not everybody *can* be 115 pounds. Hell, my bones and muscle LITERALLY weigh 130 pounds.

Some folks on this very board do not share your goal of being your size, and it does not make them jealous. 

Just makes them not you.

I am proud on you.  I know you are proud on you too, you have done a great job.

Hi,
     At my highest I weighed 191#, was developing  hypertension, osteoarthritis in my knees, ( a family history), and my joints ached when I walked. I have also have a family history of obesity. These comorbidities I described above were a exact result of my 5'2"  small frame carrying almost 200#.
     How do I know this? because when I lost the weight via WLS they went away. My goal was not to be "skinny" either. My body is simply comfortable given my small frame at that weight since I have acheived that number effortlessly. YOUR mileage may vary.
     I just find it annoying that someone who went through two of the most drastic WLS you can have made that comment to me with no provocation. I do not consider myself skinny, nor was that my goal. But, I look good, and yes I'm proud of it. 
     I know that people get weight loss surgery for the health benefits, I'm not stupid. But, it's through the WEIGHT LOSS that you acheive that health, since the obesity is what's causing a lot of the problems in the first place, that's why they are called comorbidities. 
     This particular woman, despite  2 WLS, still has comorbidities and is still quite obese.  So yeah, I think jealousy plays a part in the way she responded to me.

I know you have deactivated your account, but I hope that you will reconsider and come back, and I am responding to your response in that hope.  Yes, that is the only thing I have to say to the OP because SHE is the one writing the post and it is she that has experienced the slight.  It is the OP that felt attacked as being too skinny and only doing this for looks.  I too have been accused of the same thing, and I know how unfair that criticism can be.  I stopped going to one support group for this very reason.  If the OP had been the unfortunate woman who had gone through two WLS , and was asking for support, you can believe that my reply would have been different.  I am well aware that I am a lightweight and that there are many people here who are struggling with more weight and worse commodities, this does not give them any right to put me or any other lightweight down or hurt our feelings or run us off of this board or any support group.  I reacted to the line from the OP when she said that the lady's tone was hostile, I know that tone all too well.  I am sorry if I offended you in any way, but I am not exactly sure how I did it, so I can't really apologize for a wrong I did not intend. Again, I repeat, if I was talking to the still overweight woman, I would have been very supportive of her struggle to get healthy.  I think maybe I just **** you off, and maybe blocking me was the right thing for you to do.  I really hope that that is not the reason you deactivated, as there are so many others that can learn from your perspective and experience. 

I could imagine it would be hard to see someone like you who is so successful and still be struggling yourself.  I sometimes have fears that I won't get to goal because I have so much to lose. 

When I see those who have much less to lose than me I think it's natural for me to envy them at least slightly.. we always want what we don't have, right?  But then I know that the grass is not always greener and I have things that others envy too, so it all evens out. :)

Maybe you can try to empathize with her.. try to remember a time when you were envious of someone else (we all have those moments) and forgive her.  I feel a bit bad for her.. her situation sucks and envy sucks. :(

I think she's just defensive, not necessarily jealous but ONLY she knows.  It seems like everyone I meet who has had WLS and I mention I did too has to say something like, "yeah but I'm not this or that or the other" like I've said ANYTHING about them and their struggle.  It's like fat people think "skinny" people are judging them which is a DEFENSE mechanism.  She felt, like many obese folks do, that she had to defend herself...I'm GUESSING....

Now with that said I DO slightly take offense to the "still obese" part of your description of her.  Ok she had 2 WLS and still has medical issues but the still being obese like that's a bad thing.  I topped the scales at 345 at my heaviest on my 5'7 frame.  I have NO desire to reach a 25 or below BMI.  I have NO desire to be smaller then say a size 10, which I believe would make me "overweight" on the BMI charts...so my current size 14/16 would be considered "still obese" after my WLS...which is MAYBE...why the other person got upset and deactivated...I dunno because I'm supposing for all these other people.

I'm sure SOME folks, not saying you perse, may look at me and think wow she had WLS and doesn't want to reach a "normal" BMI...interesting...but to each her own.

I LOVE that you are not only healthy (which for ME is the point of MY surgery), but active (which I AM at any weight) and that you are COMFORTABLE in your own skin (which is MY point of LIFE).

Keep rocking your sleeve and living life.  We only have one go around enjoy it and LIVE it!!

Ms Shell